Step 1: Unmanageability, Question 8

responsibility - the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something
(source: MAC OS X Dictionary Application)

Do I accept responsibility for my life and my actions?
Am I able to carry out my daily responsibilities without becoming overwhelmed?
How has this affected my life?

03/19/10 10:07 AM

Today, for the most part... yes I do accept responsibility for where I am in my life today. Concerning my actions, I try to the best of my ability to recognize whether my actions are actually reactions to other’s words or actions. Regardless, I need to be accountable for EVERYTHING I do regardless of the reasoning behind my behavior.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I do become overwhelmed with daily responsibilities. I need to do something about this soon because if I become stressed when I’m currently unemployed, what will happen when I get a job?

Becoming overwhelmed causes be to go into ‘shut-down’ mode. I isolate and simply continue the day in a manner of inaction. I will do mindless things on the computer, sleep or just simply do nothing at all. This is NOT a productive or healthy state for me

 

do you stress at all from being unemployeed.........i was out of work for 3 months one time and lost my ride (hit someone and had no insurance) after the first couple days I started going stir crazy..... but i too would get so overwhelmed with the simplest of things and become enraged or emotional and then start to think i was worthless. I was just brought up to believe that a man has to work to be a man......i wasnt working. Got a job and my outlook (eventhough my job sucks) durastically improved as well as my additude.

 

I used to really dwell/beat myself up about not working. Not so much anymore, though. I'm fortunate, though. I had a good chunk of change when I was clean before and gave my folks a lot of loot from the sale of my house when I moved from PA to CO. They've been covering me with that money since I moved back (its close to gone now)

The thing is, I have what I need at the moment. Yeah, I can't spend money on dates, clothes, eating out, etc. and sometimes I don't feel like a man but its a reality I have to accept. As long as I'm DILIGENTLY trying to fix it (I have a promising interview on Monday) then I need to accept it as it is.

Worse case scenario, I'll hit the soup kitchens, get a loan to put my other things in a bigger storage unit and hit the local shelter.

It probably won't come to that but, we learn some survival skills when we're in our habit and I'm kinda comfortable with that. Granted, regression makes it that much harder to get back to square but I don't think it will come to that