How is acceptance of my disease necessary for my continued recovery?
06/10/10 7:22 AM
Recognizing and accepting that I simply can’t get high like others is critical. Its real easy for me to say ‘Yeah, I’m just gonna grab a beer after work’ or ‘Maybe I’ll smoke some weed’. I can’t fuck around like that because my history shows that I lose control and I lose control quickly. I just can’t fucking stop once I have started.
It sucks and I’m still VERY fucking angry that I can never get high again. But this is something I need to deal with and just roll with it.
It isn’t easy and I strongly suspect that I am on my way to a nice little binge. I remember these feelings from when I first got clean.
I guess I really haven’t accepted that I cannot live and use drugs at the same time.
Responsibility sucks, man.
06/10/10 7:22 AM
Recognizing and accepting that I simply can’t get high like others is critical. Its real easy for me to say ‘Yeah, I’m just gonna grab a beer after work’ or ‘Maybe I’ll smoke some weed’. I can’t fuck around like that because my history shows that I lose control and I lose control quickly. I just can’t fucking stop once I have started.
It sucks and I’m still VERY fucking angry that I can never get high again. But this is something I need to deal with and just roll with it.
It isn’t easy and I strongly suspect that I am on my way to a nice little binge. I remember these feelings from when I first got clean.
I guess I really haven’t accepted that I cannot live and use drugs at the same time.
Responsibility sucks, man.