Have I made peace with the things I’ll have to do to stay clean?
06/08/10 8:24 AM
Not really. Lately I’ve been throwing an internal temper tantrum. I’m an angry dude and there’s a lot of shit I need to do to stay clean. Some of these things I just don’t want to fucking do.
Its suggested to be in service in the NA structure. I did that in the beginning, I was co-chairperson of the Public Information Committee for the Montgomery County Area and was making the Regional sub-committee meetings as well. I called the chairperson the other week and told her I’m bailing on service at this level. I just don’t want to be around people with significant clean time that act self-important and believe that service in the NA structure is some selfless, grand sacrifice. It isn’t. True service is doing street-level shit for that man/woman that is struggling.
I also made the decision to not have a Home Group any longer. To be honest, this was an impulsive decision made out of anger. Even though I am going to maintain a commitment to my Home Group it is going to be a very loose commitment. I’ve been taking things way too seriously and its been fucking me up.
I’ll get to a peaceful place of acceptance in time. I know for certain that when I start writing the Step Two questions, they WILL NOT be as involved. I’m just going to bang them the fuck out. Why? Because these fucking questions don’t do anything for me. Practicing honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and acceptance is more important than writing about it. These questions aren’t therapeutic and there are too many of them.
I need to progress with a cursory knowledge of ‘spiritual principles’ in order to get well.
06/08/10 8:24 AM
Not really. Lately I’ve been throwing an internal temper tantrum. I’m an angry dude and there’s a lot of shit I need to do to stay clean. Some of these things I just don’t want to fucking do.
Its suggested to be in service in the NA structure. I did that in the beginning, I was co-chairperson of the Public Information Committee for the Montgomery County Area and was making the Regional sub-committee meetings as well. I called the chairperson the other week and told her I’m bailing on service at this level. I just don’t want to be around people with significant clean time that act self-important and believe that service in the NA structure is some selfless, grand sacrifice. It isn’t. True service is doing street-level shit for that man/woman that is struggling.
I also made the decision to not have a Home Group any longer. To be honest, this was an impulsive decision made out of anger. Even though I am going to maintain a commitment to my Home Group it is going to be a very loose commitment. I’ve been taking things way too seriously and its been fucking me up.
I’ll get to a peaceful place of acceptance in time. I know for certain that when I start writing the Step Two questions, they WILL NOT be as involved. I’m just going to bang them the fuck out. Why? Because these fucking questions don’t do anything for me. Practicing honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and acceptance is more important than writing about it. These questions aren’t therapeutic and there are too many of them.
I need to progress with a cursory knowledge of ‘spiritual principles’ in order to get well.