'Denial is the part of our disease that tells us we don't have a disease.'
- The Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Guides (page 2)
disease - abnormal condition; illness
(source: dictionary.com [mobile version])
plausible - having an appearance of truth or reason; seemingly worthy of approval or acceptance; credible; believable
(source: dictionary.com [web version])
Have I given plausible but untrue reasons for my behavior? What have they been?
02/06/10 07:34 PM
Ok, I had to call my sponsor about this question. In all honesty, most recently, I haven't been acting out with bullshit excuses for my behaviors. This will make it two questions in a row that go unanswered.
I've been reflecting on this question for a day and a half (two days?) and I can't come up with anything.
He suggested that I step off for a minute and meditate. Makes sense.
He also said that this question refers to the past AND the present. This bothers me because I can't accurately describe past behaviors due to being high, forgetful, elapsed time since they occurred, and/or blocking them out.
This is what I will do... I will write down the bullshit excuses that I felt justified my actions that are immediately evident to me and then move on to the next question.
During this time of reflection (one day, two days?) if I notice that I am currently coming up with excuses for my current behaviors I will jot them down as well.
You see, I'm not interested in dwelling on my active addiction. It has relevance but what is significantly more important to me is how I am living RIGHT NOW.
I've been using drugs for a very large portion of my life. If I attempt writing down every damn thing then I won't progress through these questions (which are helping me learn about me). If I don't progress then I don't grow.
I tend to be very analytical. If I over think my answers I'll lose interest in progressing and just say 'fuck it' and not take any of the questions as seriously as possible.
I'll have something in a couple days...
02/07/10 1:55 PM
Ok, so I may as well put the obvious ones that most everyone does anyway:
1 - Spending money meant for bills on drugs while telling myself 'I can earn this back if I sell some of what I bought'. I rarely sold my shit if it was already in my pocket.
2 - Telling myself that I may as well splurge on a shitload of drugs tonight since I'm quitting tomorrow. (Of course 'tomorrow' never came)
- The Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Guides (page 2)
disease - abnormal condition; illness
(source: dictionary.com [mobile version])
plausible - having an appearance of truth or reason; seemingly worthy of approval or acceptance; credible; believable
(source: dictionary.com [web version])
Have I given plausible but untrue reasons for my behavior? What have they been?
02/06/10 07:34 PM
Ok, I had to call my sponsor about this question. In all honesty, most recently, I haven't been acting out with bullshit excuses for my behaviors. This will make it two questions in a row that go unanswered.
I've been reflecting on this question for a day and a half (two days?) and I can't come up with anything.
He suggested that I step off for a minute and meditate. Makes sense.
He also said that this question refers to the past AND the present. This bothers me because I can't accurately describe past behaviors due to being high, forgetful, elapsed time since they occurred, and/or blocking them out.
This is what I will do... I will write down the bullshit excuses that I felt justified my actions that are immediately evident to me and then move on to the next question.
During this time of reflection (one day, two days?) if I notice that I am currently coming up with excuses for my current behaviors I will jot them down as well.
You see, I'm not interested in dwelling on my active addiction. It has relevance but what is significantly more important to me is how I am living RIGHT NOW.
I've been using drugs for a very large portion of my life. If I attempt writing down every damn thing then I won't progress through these questions (which are helping me learn about me). If I don't progress then I don't grow.
I tend to be very analytical. If I over think my answers I'll lose interest in progressing and just say 'fuck it' and not take any of the questions as seriously as possible.
I'll have something in a couple days...
02/07/10 1:55 PM
Ok, so I may as well put the obvious ones that most everyone does anyway:
1 - Spending money meant for bills on drugs while telling myself 'I can earn this back if I sell some of what I bought'. I rarely sold my shit if it was already in my pocket.
2 - Telling myself that I may as well splurge on a shitload of drugs tonight since I'm quitting tomorrow. (Of course 'tomorrow' never came)