China Rider
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2007
- Messages
- 11,451
Done with opiate hunger.
I feel like making positive changes that have crippled me before I even starting using drugs is a must when attempting to maintain abstinance from substances that worked like a shovel - completing tasks you were previously too lazy makes me feel good and hopeful about future.
Here to share changes i've made in right direction, but mostly seek out other's success stories.
My route of action, thus far, 3+ weeks off bupe, other than one small slip up
-Want to stay committed to abstaining from alcohol as much as possible. Been doing so since early '13. Not that I ever suffered from alcoholism, but if there was beer, I was drinking it and driving home.
The DUI I had back in '09 was a damn powerful lesson.
Plus, I think that alcohol is such a shitty toxin that gives me a very un-easy buzz and makes it difficult to sleep. Even when I 'liked' drinking it.
-Suddenly, started showing up on-time for work everyday instead of 10-15 minutes late
Hated paranoid feeling of imagining how frustrated co-workers were effected by my crippling inability to wake up and adjust out of pattern of uncontrollable tardiness .
-Before leaving work, I clean up my area, used to just let material gradually turn into a sloppy shit parade
Would eventually like to start maintaining a non-embarrassing mess of living space/car
-Have been using a very pharmacist recommended/expensive mouth wash 3-4 times a day - due to previous over the top poor oral hygiene patterns, it's a miracle I still have decent looking teeth, never needed to have major dental work and currently, at worth, have just one small tolerable cavity, which might end up being first ever professional diagnosed cavity.
-Been drinking either V8 or naked fruit smoothies about 5 times a week
-Slowly picking up habit of cutting back on rx'ed Clonazepam and Adderall.
Although these drugs do provide a great time when used recreational. It's not worth it. When used as Rx'd or less they do the things they were created for and after taking them instead of thinking about nothing or nothing good - i've been thinking of ways to improve as a person and recognize how sometimes my behavior turns me into a person I wouldn't want to be around
-Attempting to re-gain respect from family and have been making more attempts to strengthen relationships, mostly by manning up and being persistent with becoming calmly confrontational over things that've been kept quiet for too long - things that need to be addressed. Communicating effective may be hard difficult, but when effective, what a delightful.
-Taking a moment, in the moment, to let a friend know that I appreciate what they just did. Usually it's not even something they did for me - just an act of kindness that's been witnessed. Specially if it's something that I feel goes unnoticed by most people.
That list is tiny compared to my list of radical changes that i'm not quite ready to tackle - baby steps.
Thought?
Experiences?
Like Cherl Crow once sang,
I think a change
a change
would do you good
:D
I feel like making positive changes that have crippled me before I even starting using drugs is a must when attempting to maintain abstinance from substances that worked like a shovel - completing tasks you were previously too lazy makes me feel good and hopeful about future.
Here to share changes i've made in right direction, but mostly seek out other's success stories.
My route of action, thus far, 3+ weeks off bupe, other than one small slip up
-Want to stay committed to abstaining from alcohol as much as possible. Been doing so since early '13. Not that I ever suffered from alcoholism, but if there was beer, I was drinking it and driving home.
The DUI I had back in '09 was a damn powerful lesson.
Plus, I think that alcohol is such a shitty toxin that gives me a very un-easy buzz and makes it difficult to sleep. Even when I 'liked' drinking it.
-Suddenly, started showing up on-time for work everyday instead of 10-15 minutes late
Hated paranoid feeling of imagining how frustrated co-workers were effected by my crippling inability to wake up and adjust out of pattern of uncontrollable tardiness .
-Before leaving work, I clean up my area, used to just let material gradually turn into a sloppy shit parade
Would eventually like to start maintaining a non-embarrassing mess of living space/car
-Have been using a very pharmacist recommended/expensive mouth wash 3-4 times a day - due to previous over the top poor oral hygiene patterns, it's a miracle I still have decent looking teeth, never needed to have major dental work and currently, at worth, have just one small tolerable cavity, which might end up being first ever professional diagnosed cavity.
-Been drinking either V8 or naked fruit smoothies about 5 times a week
-Slowly picking up habit of cutting back on rx'ed Clonazepam and Adderall.
Although these drugs do provide a great time when used recreational. It's not worth it. When used as Rx'd or less they do the things they were created for and after taking them instead of thinking about nothing or nothing good - i've been thinking of ways to improve as a person and recognize how sometimes my behavior turns me into a person I wouldn't want to be around
-Attempting to re-gain respect from family and have been making more attempts to strengthen relationships, mostly by manning up and being persistent with becoming calmly confrontational over things that've been kept quiet for too long - things that need to be addressed. Communicating effective may be hard difficult, but when effective, what a delightful.
-Taking a moment, in the moment, to let a friend know that I appreciate what they just did. Usually it's not even something they did for me - just an act of kindness that's been witnessed. Specially if it's something that I feel goes unnoticed by most people.
That list is tiny compared to my list of radical changes that i'm not quite ready to tackle - baby steps.
Thought?
Experiences?
Like Cherl Crow once sang,
I think a change
a change
would do you good
:D
