Stayin' With Blogs

Yeah, I'm kind of weak right now. I keep flip flopping with my cravings and justifications to use. To tell the truth, I still can't come up with a SOLID excuse or reason to get high. The thing is, I don't need one. Its scary to think that 'just because' can send me back to where I was before (or worse)

I'm just gonna hang here in the Blog section of BL for a bit. I'm too shaky to be around the other sections at the moment. Even TDS triggers me sometimes but this is entirely due to my own weakness and fucked up, self-hating manner of thinking.

87 days clean from everything so far.

Such a tiny, HUGE amount of days to not use drugs. I wonder sometimes if I'll make it. Something tells me I haven't hit my bottom yet but do we really need to hit that 'bottom' to get better?

I feel like I have a lot of potential in this life. I guess I need to be patient and wait it out. My time frames and expectations of when things should be happening are twisted and unrealistic.

Things will be when the time is appropriate. NOT when I say it is time.

 

I understand, totally. I don't really have any good reasons to get high either... I guess I'm trying to concentrate on reasons not to get high instead! I have plenty of them, but they don't always stop me from using again. As for the cravings, they tend to come and go. Some days I barely notice them, while other days they're totally relentless! I also try to avoid certain sections of Bluelight when I'm craving badly. Anyway, I'm glad you're gonna still keep blogging! Stay strong!

 

ur doing the right thing OD - i avoid EVRY forum except TDS (yes it can b triggering but its helped me and sometimes i feel i owe it one!)
atm im mostly concentrating on blogging too

i cant imagine being 87 days clean off evrything (although ive done a yr....)

i certainly remember wen i was 87 days clean i was in a halfway house and there wasnt much chance of using so ur doing well!

i dont think u hav to hit rock bottom to get better
wat is rock bottom anyway? its diffrent things for diffrent ppl....maybe uve already hit it and u dont know it! rather than thinking about whether or not u need to hit rock bottom or whether or not u can recover without hitting it.....try to focus on not hitting any other hole, whether theres a rock at the bottom or not! (my advice anyway)