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Starting opiate recovery,any kind hearts out here to give me encouragement & suppor

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Stoleninnocence92

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
12
Starting opiate recovery,any kind hearts out here to give me encouragement & suppor

Hey guys and gals, I'm fairly new to the blue light website and I've been an IV drug user for the better part of four years. I'm a 22 year old female and I'm really trying to get my life back on track and reach the potential I have that the drugs have been keeping me from achieving! I have been IV-ing 24-36mgs of dilaudid everyday and I know the horrors of the dreaded withdrawal. I have a great job opportunity coming my way in 2 weeks but I know with the drug usage and constant bouts of withdrawal will keep me from being successful and I'm tired of lying,stealing,cheating,pawning for cash and messing people over to get money. I want my life and the trust and love of my family and friends back. I've got a few questions but I'm also looking for friends and support partners on and off this site, someone who has been or is going through what I will be experiencing (since I took my last dose an hour ago) who can help and support me when things start getting really tough and I want to give up like so many times before.

I don't have any access to benzodiazepines for the Thomas recipe so that's out of the question and my main issues with withdrawal is the anxiety,rls,depression,sleeplessness. How do I get past this stuff? I only have really limited access to marijuana due to my funds being completely non-existent,marijuana usually helps slightly but it still nonetheless barely touches the withdrawal symptoms!

Well, anymore information you want or need just ask for and I'll reply! Any and all suggestions,advice,friends,and private messages are welcome! Thanks in advance!

Stoleninnocence92 said:
Hello everybody! I'm a newbie here and we'll my story goes as follows. I'm a 22 y/o female and I've been Iv-ing dilaudid everyday for four years between 28-36mgs a day. I have a new job opportunity coming up and basically I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to make something of myself and I know my constant drug usage and in and out bouts of withdrawal will prevent me from getting a job and getting back right with my family and friends.

I'm looking for stories,support and help though this withdrawal period cause I've gone without support in the past and have always failed right around the time the going starts getting way too tough.

Any support,tips,stories,friends,or private messages are welcome!

Ps, I don't have access to benzodiazepines so I can't really follow the Thomas recipe and I have no access to marijuana (which tends to help slightly with the pain and helps me eat, but barley still touches the withdrawals)
Thanks in advance for any helpful posts
Click to expand...

EDIT: heading from you other thread. If you desire to edit this post just push the edit button below.... HERE and you can fix it up.
 
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Congrats on your decision and new job!

I have found this forum to be a lifesaver, it has yet to ever steer me wrong. The people on here are genuinely awesome people who all want everybody to succeed in their goal. There are allot of recovering opiate users and allot in active recovery. I would suggest checking out The Dark Side subforum, lots of support in there for when you feel like ripping your skin off. I was on opiates for 13 years only a few months clean time in that time. I tried multiple times to quit for all the right reasons and had to lose it all before I was ready to do it for good. I started a taper in October and pulled the plug in the beginning of last month. I have gotten allot of good advice that has kept me sober.
I was on suboxone and found loperamide to help allot in the beginning of the end. I couldn't sleep, was very irritable and ready to run to the corner, loperamide made all the difference. Cannabis can be a huge help for overall pain, but your right it doesn't do anything for the withdrawal. That's were loperamide can really help.
Hang in there, you have this if you want it, and we want you to have it! I'm up for chatting whenever. Try and get as much sleep now so your not on empty from day 1.

Take care :)
 
Thanks so much for your reply! I've heard about using Imodium since it mimics some opiate effects,I will have to go to the store during opiate withdrawal it may not sound hard but I think you and I both know it's like running a marathon. With withdrawals impending I feel like I'm naked lost in the woods with a snow storm approaching. Ps, how do I find and get in with the crown in the fourm you mentioned. "The dark side"
 
Stoleninnocence92 said:
I'm a 22 y/o female and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Click to expand...

ummm are you my ex?? lol jp... but she literally told me two days ago shes sick n tired of bein sick n tired....

but how can you get dillies n not weed?? smh... you kids now a days...

but for real clonodine is so amazing when it comes to helping w WD esp if you cant get any Zs or bud...
 
Hey Stolen and a warm welcome to BL:)

The half life of IV dilaudid is very short.. less than 2.5 hours. This will mean that your detox is really short, but you will also have a very fast onset of symptoms.

You will be in full withdrawal within 15 hours. The physical aspect of it should not get much worse then it is at that time. Might get a little rougher with sleep deprivation and such.

I would really try and eat a good meal in case you have trouble latter. I would also get some nutritional shakes that you can slam down. The last thing you will probably want to do is eat. But adding the symptoms of not eating anything onto the withdrawals can make things worse. You feel hungry, but try and get a few of those down each day.

The good end of having a very rapid detox is that you should see the light at the end of the tunnel in under six days.

Hot showers, sexual climax, can help with the withdrawls.. that and things to keep you distracted and occupied. Nothing worse then sitting in and spending the whole time focusing on how we feel.

If you choose to use the Loperamide then it will certainly reduce your symptoms, but as its an opioid it will extend your time in the acutes and you will have to tapper it to get off. This is often easier than tapering other opiates as it is flushed out of the blood brain barrier extremely quickly and does not cause any pleasurable effects.

Loperamide (Imodium) Megathread v. 2

Keep your eye and your thinking on the prize. Remind yourself all the time that what your going through is only temporary. That your freedom and getting you back is the amazing reward. Remind yourself that this is a path you will have to take at some point, so its time is here.

If we go through a portion of the withdrawal and then use any opiate to try and find some relief it starts the clock over to whatever the half life of the opiate dictates. So its much, much, much better to push through all the way on the first go. If not we just are zipped back to the start of the tunnel and have to again push through all the distance we already traveled.

Here are the medications I would explore for opiate detox. The best two are the gabapentin or lyrica and the clonidine.

There are also some threads with many peoples approaches.

No way you can get into see a Dr. to get some meds to help you through? You will be very happy if you found a way. They certainly aren't a cure all, but they really do work.

medications for acute opiate detox
NSFW:

>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE< >here<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol
Senokot S is a stool softener and laxative. If you do not want the laxative you can go for strait stool softenerDioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate.

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal


TDS or the dark side is the forum right above this on or its linked in the recovery forums in my signature.

You can do this and freedoms on the other side=D

A week from starting you will feel a great deal better. A few months down the road you will feel damn good. A little while after that your going to feel amazing.:D

Just have to say fuck it, come hell or high water, i will and keep moving forward. Then its a certainty you will get to where you are going.
 
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Thank you very much for the reply, well I feel like I'm reaching full withdrawal this morning,runny nose,sneezing,sleeplessness, body aches,legs jumping,eyes watering...and so far I hate my life. I'm guessing the depression is the cause. I plan on going to the store today to get some thing that may help me otc, I don't have an actually doctor to go to nor do I have insurance. And I live in sc so if u go to the ER in withdrawal they either force you in to detox against your will or laugh and send you home with some promethazine. My family knows I'm an addict but there isn't much they can do to help me.
 
I just posted my first thread as well. Congrats to you for making this decision. I hope today brings you some sunshine and low pain. How are you feeling? Stay strong..we can get thru.
 
Hi stolen, and welcome to TDS. It's great that you have thought about the importance of support and are proactively trying to get yourself set up with some. I hope you will also get support IRL via meetings, sober friends, etc as both combined are a good combo.

Here are some threads that may help on a daily basis:

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...rns-March-2015-Gettin-amp-Stayin-Sober-Thread

and

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/663215-Good-things-about-being-off-drugs-getting-sober

Congratulations on your decision to try again. Any failure in the past is actually knowledge you've gained for this attack. Don't let it undermine you--let it inform and empower you.<3
 
Welcome to BL!
Yes congratulations for having taken the right decision when it feels right to you.
That is IMO the most important step towards recovery.
And to be where you are now is a privileged that you made space for.
Imagine yourself in the future having one chance to fix things that went wrong.
You seem to be right there!
if it gets too hard, come clean and open yourself to your parents!
Asking for help just like you've done now.
Good luck! :)
 
So far I feel like a cloud of death is covering my body. I wish for death but it never comes. I'm very anxious, my body hurts it's all coming on at once and I just hate life right now
 
Thanks so much for the replies. I feel like I'm dying a slow painful death. It's all piling up at once and I'm already thinking of ways to come up with money to score but....something is keeping me from actually doing it. Maybe will power finally kicked in after all these failed attempts
 
Hey remember there is nothing really wrong with you. Your system is just going to flip out as your removing a significant chemical it has adjusted to having been there.

Hang in there.. keep your thoughts positive.. rainbows, puppy dogs, getting your freedom and life back.. and whatever else makes you happy. You have to actively battle the negative thoughts.

Here are a few threads to consider participating or to read along those lines.

Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World
Daily Personal Affirmations Log Vs IM THE SHIT & NOT a piece a.. not playing me. NOPE

You got this:).. you're going to feel rough.. but its will only be for a few days.;)
 
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Are you tapering off dilaudid or when was your last use? I had detoxed a few times in rehab but when I got home, I always resumed using. I was finally able to completely stop using on my own in 2011. Don't underestimate the strength of your own will power. It's not easy but it can be done!
 
Well day one is almost over and soon begins day 2. I can't wait for this agony to end. I came up with some atavan. Doesn't seem to do much good. I can't wait til this is over, I hardly have the energy to type these responses.
 
I'm still sober, went to my job interview today and got the job. But I'm going to have to do 3 days of training Wednesday-Friday then I start on Monday...Idk if I'll be able to do this or not.
 
You can do this. There never is a good time to do this;)

What goods a job is you spend all the money you earn on pills?

I would just roll with it and if you get into a bit of a jam with work just tell them you think you have the flu.

Your doing great.. coming close to half way done. Nice work!!
 
Stay strong, you can do it! My fave quote by Oscar Wilde is ' we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars', this really picks me up, well done to you, how are you feeling now? Xxx Rachel xxx
 
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