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started subuxone maintance

emingos

emingos

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Messages
571
a little background:
ive been an opiate addict for years now and i cant take it anymore so i started on subuxone (2mg/day)
ive been getting so much better, better mood, minimum anxiety and depression and a desire to do a lot of active actevities, im starting on a zolpiclone taper over the next ten days so i can get some sleep before work and and then i get oxazepam from my doc i use for anxiety and some times insomania

i have been addticted to benzo's before so i know only to take them as prescriped,i havent used any 'h sinc i started sub(+3weeks) i havent even wanted to and i gave my mom all my money + im on subuxone.. so i dont even think on getting high no more becourse im so stable and happy since my depression and anxiety have lifted a bit..

question(s):
* I think of saving some oxazepam for when i have to taper off subs.. (good idea? i have more then i need anyway then i also dont waste them..)

ive more into getting clean than ever, i told my famely and was homeless for 2 weeks.. (could sleep at friend luky me) but that was my turning point..
my mom is even buying smokes for me.. becourse i let her manege all my money its nice not to have money burning to buy some smack..

well anyone that haves tips and ideas i could keep this posetive mindset i have gotten after all these events happened ? :)
 
Hey bro - congrats first of all - Just want to suggest that you stay on as low a dose of sub as possible for the duration of dealing with PAWS. Obviously you will deal with this again in terms of addiction to the bupe , but the long taper will vastly help you.

Keeping benzos is a great idea but just make sure you don't have a few day black out binge :P. I'm in a similar boat as you and I know how the afterglow of being clean feels, hit groups and make an effort to be with CLEAN friends. Keeping up a normal life and readjusting into it are the major things that have helped me. Stay up.
 
yeah i started working again and have allready dropped the dope friends, and are seing my clean friends (some smoke weed tho) but all are going so super cool so im really motivated, started being alot more active to... really hope it works this time :)
 
Hi Emingos. I've had much experience with subs and I want to tell you to be aware of it's setbacks. The "calm, anxiety-free 'normal' state" that subs make you feel like you're in is an illusion. Because it is not such a powerful opiate in terms of euphoria it makes you think that what you feel like when you are on it is what being off opiates all together is like. In reality, it DOES give you a 'high' albeit an incredibly subtle one. Once you get off it, you'll notice the stark contrast of what it's like to really be off opiates.

Just know that bupe is still an opiate, and there is still a long way to go to reach true sobriety but you can make it.
 
MaddTime said:
Hi Emingos. I've had much experience with subs and I want to tell you to be aware of it's setbacks. The "calm, anxiety-free 'normal' state" that subs make you feel like you're in is an illusion. Because it is not such a powerful opiate in terms of euphoria it makes you think that what you feel like when you are on it is what being off opiates all together is like. In reality, it DOES give you a 'high' albeit an incredibly subtle one. Once you get off it, you'll notice the stark contrast of what it's like to really be off opiates.

Just know that bupe is still an opiate, and there is still a long way to go to reach true sobriety but you can make it.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry this is not true.
 
i have tried subs before and i think this mindset i gotnow is a combination of the subs and the posetives things that have happenned, when i tried tapering subs on my own i was still depresssed and in a bad place mentally, im aware of paws but right now im just trying to get a good routine going in my dayly life,..

thanks for the responses ewery one!
 
got some xanex to take the axiety and help me sleep till i get me zolpiclone at the methadone clinic and when i get my oxazepam from my schrink it should be ok, i even gave my benzoprescription to my mom so i dont get temted...

so i have prepared really good before i started my sub treatment im really optimistic :)
 
Because it is not such a powerful opiate in terms of euphoria it makes you think that what you feel like when you are on it is what being off opiates all together is like. In reality, it DOES give you a 'high' albeit an incredibly subtle one. Once you get off it, you'll notice the stark contrast of what it's like to really be off opiates.
Click to expand...

I get what your saying but my take on it is this... Its an extremely powerful opiate... the reason it makes you feel "normal" after a while is because of how long the half life is... So you get used to being under the influence of sub 24/7 on maintenance... It is constantly in your blood stream..

Dont take your sub for 5 days and then take 1mgs and you'll see how strong it really is...

The difference off it is huge i agree though... However with my experience I'm content staying on sub for a long time (yrs) to stabilize out..

Ive been on sub about 3 months straight and i feel so much better!!! it is still an opiate thats true.. but man i do feel "normal" in a way...

Lol hope you understood what i meant and i wasnt confusing anyone...

Also my addiction was deadly so i dont feel guilty at all taking sub everyday for as long as i need to.. its better than shooting up 15x a day( no joke)... and being unable to function!
 
yeah i know what you mean, thats also why i wanted to only get on 2mg/day i can manage on 0.5mg but i like to have a little extra if i need it, i take between 0.5-1mg 2x day and i havent fell so good for a long time, even when i did a sub taper on my own i only took 1 dose a day i and feel way better now

thx for the replies! :)
 
Hey are you getting your sub off the streets? It doesn't sound like that but I just want to make sure. 2mg is exactly what I started on myself a few months back and it was enough to make me feel a lot better, but I was still having persistent hot flashes/sweats and had to double the dosage. But now I've been maintaining on 4mg and feel perfect. On bad days I go up to 6mg, and easy days occassionally I'll drop it to 2mg. The half life is so damn long that even on the days I take 2mg it still feels like I'm on 4mg, but when I go up to 6mg there is usually a noticeable glow.

Anyway about this "normal" state sub induces I'm well aware its not technically normal, but if you consider how much us opiate addicts have offset our own brains, you really have no idea what normal is anymore. I could go even go to the length of saying that sober is NOT "normal" for you anymore. Think about it, are you normally depressed out of your mind and anxious? Like if you were off all drugs for many years and stablized. Chances are a lot of us opiate addicts would still never feel 100% normal.
Its the sad fact of reality, we have no real idea what the hell "normal" is for us, nor do the doctors we go to see. What I can say however is the "normal" I get on sub I definitely prefer over the "normal" w/out sub. And even if I stayed off sub for years, I'd likely get some motivation back, but I don't think I'd ever be able to derive the same type of happiness being completely off opiates. That endorphin system once you hijack it is very unforgiving in terms of going back to how it use to work. I just don't believe your brain will ever pump out the same amount of endorphins.

So chances are I might never feel "normal" off sub. Maybe I would. But normal is not even my goal. Being able to live a stable/happy productive life is. Sub allows me to do that. So like cire said, I will likely be on sub for years, and I may honestly never stop taking it. I eventually want to get my dose low however like captain heroin, because I think thats truely the smart way of doing it. He's on such a low dose then when he stops he's got a good chance of getting normal brain functioning back. So I don't want to stay on 4mg for more than a few months. My goal is to get under 1mg and do a very very very slow taper off. I mean like the slowest taper you could possibly imagine. Sub is great for tapering, and last time I came off it was nothing physically, no wds at all, its always the PAWs that get me. And I don't think I'll ever escape them, but I do believe the "trick" to getting through them is by doing the slowest taper you possibly can.
 
no i started at a clinic tree +/- weeks ago i have deleted all my old connects, so i cant even get sub from the street anymore :)

your right about our "normal" stateof mind, but i do feel more normal than i have in year's, not depressed, anxious and i wanna do active things, that also why im thinking on staying on sub for some time till i have distanced myself from the drugs and have become more stable and then its nice to know i just cant get high when i take it, also nice for my famely

and i think the captain h. way of tapering is the best most comfortable way also so the brain can slowly get back to baseline, but right now its not a problem, im staying on them till im stable and then i start a very slow taper at some point.

i started on 2mg course i know how strong bupe is and it was my plan to get of them at some point so no need to dig my hole any deeper :)
 
Subs are powerful on a milligram for milligram basis for the treatment of pain, but bupe is not a full agonist opioid and this is why it pales in comparison to the euphoric properties of other drugs.

I read alot of bullshit which I assume has been written by people who have never done heroin or hydromorphone talking about how "subs are so fucking cool and strong" and blah blah, but anyone who knows the first thing about opiates will tell you that they are weak as piss compared to real opiates.

For this reason, it is also true - as someone else said - that it is easy to begin to feel as though you're actually clean on subs. But you're clearly not.

S
 
Or rather, I should say, subs are perhaps strong in a narcotic sense, but because they are not full agonist opioids, the euphoria is always going to be minimal.

Also I think it's important for the OP to realise that EVERYONE feels good when they begin maintenance therapy with bupe or methadone; but these feelings never last. I have never heard anyone who has been on subs for more than, say, 2 months say anything positive about it. It just becomes like any other drug, any other opiate, and you become often tired and always disinterested and single-minded like any other addict. I'm getting off subs now after 3 years and I personally don't think it's the way to go; it should be used to stabilise a person after addiction to real opiate drugs before they get clean.

S
 
i never felt this good on methadone witch i think is a bit weird i also dindt feel so good last time i was on subs.. i think its a combination of not being sick all the time with a lot of good things going on right now in my life not so much the subs as the mental state

but i know its not clean and i wanna taper of them in some time some month or a half year when im stable and have distanced myself from drugs enough to dont get tempted and give in

on another note it is posible to get high on subs if you have no tolerance, i cant but i friend of mine who dosnt normally do opiates and was high for two days of a 2mg sub so i think it has something to do with tolerance

and thanks for the replies :)
 
Some people seem to be able to get high from subs. But I think you'll find that the people who claim such things either have miniscule tolerances or zero experiences with real opiates. As such I don't think their judgement is altogether sound. If you're someone who has experience with real, full agonist opiates like heroin and morphine, you may get a small amount of peace from subs for a short time, but never euphoria, and never for more than a few times.

S
 
emingos said:
a little background:
ive been an opiate addict for years now and i cant take it anymore so i started on subuxone (2mg/day)
ive been getting so much better, better mood, minimum anxiety and depression and a desire to do a lot of active actevities, im starting on a zolpiclone taper over the next ten days so i can get some sleep before work and and then i get oxazepam from my doc i use for anxiety and some times insomania

i have been addticted to benzo's before so i know only to take them as prescriped,i havent used any 'h sinc i started sub(+3weeks) i havent even wanted to and i gave my mom all my money + im on subuxone.. so i dont even think on getting high no more becourse im so stable and happy since my depression and anxiety have lifted a bit..

question(s):
* I think of saving some oxazepam for when i have to taper off subs.. (good idea? i have more then i need anyway then i also dont waste them..)

ive more into getting clean than ever, i told my famely and was homeless for 2 weeks.. (could sleep at friend luky me) but that was my turning point..
my mom is even buying smokes for me.. becourse i let her manege all my money its nice not to have money burning to buy some smack..

well anyone that haves tips and ideas i could keep this posetive mindset i have gotten after all these events happened ? :)
Click to expand...

Congrats on kicking the heroin habit my personal advice would be to do exaltly as the doctor says that way you have got a straight forward plan to stick to and you don't allow yourself any extra meds to abuse.

My best wishes are with you and I hope you manage to stay clean.

I have just posted in this forum requesting heroin/opiate addiction stories for my blog if you would be intrested write up your addiction story and email it to [email protected]

You story would be posted on my Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog
 
helpwithhabit - i will take a look here later today, just got home from a long day of work and thanks for the comment

and its still going good, great mindset and no hardcore cravings :)
 
@ emingos are you finding it easy to stay away from other drugs ? I am finding it impossible , I get so bored lol - I have to be careful and time things due to the drug tests so i cannot go to crazy.
 
theartofwar:

well i do smoke a little weed and is rx'et benzo's thats all im not really into other drugs then downers any more and if i drink its maybe one or two beers

but i am temted to just get wasted on benzos,hash and alcohol but im much more stable and good mood if i use my benzo's as needed only and not for fun so thats motivates me alot not to abuse them
 
I can get through the days without using anything now but come time to be done with the day and start relaxing or going out I am using everything minus H in large qauntities. Good time, but not great for me lol.
 
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