Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
As i pour myself a drink and sit behind this black screen i notice that things are not as they once were. I notice that everything has changed - the colours are slightly off-tint and certain elements of my existance have shifted to some degree. I cannot remember the last time i just sat an observed the world around me, in all it's multitudes of worlds within words, and just watched as each tiny entity spins in beat to its own rythmn...
I'm sitting at my desk, scattered from a long day at work, a taxing day of false pretenses and hours of people spinning incessantly. I'm drinking from my usual cup and basking in the glory of my unshiethed emotional visage - there's nothing to hide when you have noone to hide from, except ourselves.
Looking around my desk, i notice many things, applications to cards and clubs i do not need to be a part of, pens and paper, books on subjects that bore me to tears, and a letter. In your handwritting. Addressed to me...
*~*
You know, i never asked to feel this way. I never wanted to wonder where you are at night, or question whether you would ever return to me. I never dreamed that i would feel so lonley as i curl up at night, staring out across the night sky, knowing that, if nothing else, we can share the same moon. You seem to think that that is enough for now...
Even though i am not alone - i have a body close beside me sleeping passively and keeping me warm whilst i gaze across the horrizon - i know that you have a part of me that no one else can ever replace. Out there somewhere, you hold that final piece of this increasingly complex puzzle. You have within you the very essence of everything that i am, and ever will be, and you hold it so far from me that i can barely feel it - i barely know who i am anymore...
One time i thought it would be enough to share a moon between us, and know that we were both staring in the same direction, even though i could be from 1000s of kilmeters away. One time i thought that nothing could ever tear us appart - that our bond was infinite - everything is fair int eh pursuit of happiness...
... but now i'm not so sure, and maybe it's a selfish wish, but i long to feel you here beside me, deep within me, conflicting with me, consoling me, doing anything with me!
Anything, that is, except staring at the moon and wondering how you are...
All i want from you is something more than nothing. I just need to feel your hand on mine, your breath in the air, your voice in my ear. I often stare out across the bleak and empty night sky to the shallow meaningless bleached white plate that you have left me with, and i feel i need to know why...?
.. But then i realise that it doesn't really matter what i think, because the ball's in your court anyway - my hands are better left untied, i don't want this suit to start wearing me, and i could not bare to think that you have left for the reasons i suspect are true. how cruel it would be to have my illusions shattered so easily.
*~*
As i sit and stare at the letter on my desk, i glance out the window and see the moon full like a plate, and i sigh. I look back to the envelope. it is marked " Return to Sender"...
I'm sitting at my desk, scattered from a long day at work, a taxing day of false pretenses and hours of people spinning incessantly. I'm drinking from my usual cup and basking in the glory of my unshiethed emotional visage - there's nothing to hide when you have noone to hide from, except ourselves.
Looking around my desk, i notice many things, applications to cards and clubs i do not need to be a part of, pens and paper, books on subjects that bore me to tears, and a letter. In your handwritting. Addressed to me...
*~*
You know, i never asked to feel this way. I never wanted to wonder where you are at night, or question whether you would ever return to me. I never dreamed that i would feel so lonley as i curl up at night, staring out across the night sky, knowing that, if nothing else, we can share the same moon. You seem to think that that is enough for now...
Even though i am not alone - i have a body close beside me sleeping passively and keeping me warm whilst i gaze across the horrizon - i know that you have a part of me that no one else can ever replace. Out there somewhere, you hold that final piece of this increasingly complex puzzle. You have within you the very essence of everything that i am, and ever will be, and you hold it so far from me that i can barely feel it - i barely know who i am anymore...
One time i thought it would be enough to share a moon between us, and know that we were both staring in the same direction, even though i could be from 1000s of kilmeters away. One time i thought that nothing could ever tear us appart - that our bond was infinite - everything is fair int eh pursuit of happiness...
... but now i'm not so sure, and maybe it's a selfish wish, but i long to feel you here beside me, deep within me, conflicting with me, consoling me, doing anything with me!
Anything, that is, except staring at the moon and wondering how you are...
All i want from you is something more than nothing. I just need to feel your hand on mine, your breath in the air, your voice in my ear. I often stare out across the bleak and empty night sky to the shallow meaningless bleached white plate that you have left me with, and i feel i need to know why...?
.. But then i realise that it doesn't really matter what i think, because the ball's in your court anyway - my hands are better left untied, i don't want this suit to start wearing me, and i could not bare to think that you have left for the reasons i suspect are true. how cruel it would be to have my illusions shattered so easily.
*~*
As i sit and stare at the letter on my desk, i glance out the window and see the moon full like a plate, and i sigh. I look back to the envelope. it is marked " Return to Sender"...
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Good work indeed..