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.:stagnant-waters:.

CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 3, 2002
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.:STAGNANT-WATERS:.

.:STAGNANT-WATERS:.

Warmed waxen apples sit
Dribble thin
Long, over a shortened hearth.

Studded dream
Cracks me under ---
Pulls some violent, chorded
Strained...[frustration mid-air breathes so fresh].

Thickened sap is choking
The gaps
Forming many fine rivulets through.

Jump it over with
Creamed, fined wishes;
Clear a darkened, frosted glass...

On her lips.
 
Last edited:
Re: .:STAGNANT-WATERS:.

CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT said:
Jump it over with
Creamed, fined wishes;
Clear a darkened, frosted glass...

On her lips.

This makes the piece for me. Everything else piles on and has an eternal impact on these words, they are in themselves very significant too and without them everything wouldn't flow so easily and there wouldn't be such a gradual and comfortable change though it seems with this paragraph there is such an abrupt change and the piece is given life - and an even deeper meaning.
 
Studded dream
Cracks me under ---
Pulls some violent, chorded
Strained...[frustration mid-air breathes so fresh].

this section really struck something with me today :\

i like the way you are descriptive in matching words with emotions and feelings.

:)
 
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