stabb stabb death slice

Finally got around to getting my roots done last week and had normal hair again, then ruined it by using too much Kerastase Elixir Kultime and have now stained it patchily because it has agran oil in it, and blondes cannot use agran oil it turns brassy. I kill myself! No, I put cool tone through it tomorrow. Arrrghh. I quit meth today, for at least until my birthday in October. Too zombified, have barely even gotten up to pee in past 3 days. Not living, just wasting. Time spent wasting is not wasted time! But it is, I die inside. Will be better after sleep if that happens today or the next day I hope. Sleep, clean, hair, life. Deep breath in, ok then :D
My cat prefers me sober, [/bender]
Very lonely existence, pushing my friends away so I can get disturbingly messy fucked up alone in my room , arguing instead with people who hate me on the internet to full fill my need for human interaction. My saftey room.. My prison.
Boy might be getting release to work and home leaves re-instated after October, I want to see him, I don't know if I even feel the same about him now though. Yes I know! I know that I don't feel much at all, just looking forward to it for the sake of having something to look forward to. I might go back to Melbourne when my lease is up, for good this time, not sure, it's not a plan for today.

 

Actually come down is going pretty smoothly, almost normal now, good diet shake full of vitamins and minerals! Room is pretty messy, I'm sure back in the day I used to get on it and everything would end up spotless now it just gets trashed. I don't wanna do it just yet, give it an hour or two then I'll have to make myself do it. Hmmm So this is reality lol.

 

Oh yup there it is, it's hit. Might have wee nappy nap time before get into the cleaning tbh *yawn*

 

i was never really 'addicted' to meth, i have tried it IV only few times before, and all times i did it I never really enoyed it. I guess i either did to big of shots and never had any left to spare, or the $$$ for it. I give you props getting off that shit, i've been having a hard time with quitting heroin again for the 435352th time, you think one would leave drug detox to stay off the shit, but leaving that bitch gave me an incintive to use more dope.(had a misserble time there..), anyways never been across the pond to down under, but im sure if i do. ill head to melbourne mayb thats the place for an addict to escape to? who knows.

 

I'm just quitting because I don't feel like doing it for awhile, if I wanted to continue being on it I would, I just wanna have a good time lol. How do you know if you're addicted? I've never had a craving or difficulty stopping when I've wanted to so I'm not too bothered, it *is* supposed to be highly addictive though and I *always* IV so I wonder. I don't actually enjoy the high of being on meth either, I just like the rush from shots and not having to eat. I think shooting cocaine would probably be more my style actually because it doesn't linger for so long, gives a nice rush. But it's harder to find and more expensive where I live and always fucken cut. I like to IV ketamine, I go to other worlds lol, like one time when I shot up lying on my bed (my cat was sleeping on the bed also) I felt like I left my body, I spiralled around the room and then entered my cats body, and all around me surrounded by kitty rhythms, her breathing, her heartbeat, her purring it was awesome, then I floated above my own body for awhile, opened my eyes and was like sucked back in. Makes an aweful taste in your mouth though. I'm pretty sure I'd like heroin, I've done homebake once and I liked it, I don't know that person anymore though and I cant find a connect for any downtown Oh well.