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Spiritual Crisis

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copelandia.

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
144
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Desert Island
I'm posting this in hopes to gain some insight.

I've found a person who I love and she is directing me through a spiritual journey. It's all dark stuff and realizing the horrible stuff within and the suffering in the world.

It's been a year today and I started searching online for answers. I think that I'm experiencing the "dark night".

I have secluded myself from others and have been in fairly poor health, cannot sleep etc.

My mind is racing, society seems ridiculous and I find myself staring in a trance-like state at nothing for long periods of time.

I've started university but I'm finding it very difficult to even try and attempt to study...

What I'm asking is - where do I search? how much longer will I have to go through with this?

I really want to get through this already, it's been a year!
 
take a break from that thought process. do something else. the universe won't change without your thought, you'll find it right where you left it once you feel a little better. and the separation will give you a fresher perspective.
 
^ I agree.

There are many different 'roles' we can adopt to engage with different areas of reality (nurse, teacher, brother, fireman, philosopher, etc.) You can develop role fatigue, which is basically when you become fed up with the role you are playing because you are 'in it' so often. This is why people need to go on holiday sometimes. It sounds like you are in the role of 'philosopher' or 'inner explorer' or 'analyst,' which can become exhausting if you don't let yourself play other roles from time to time. After all, the universe loves diversity. Give yourself permission to take a break and play around with another role. I suggest (in no particular order): 'artist' or 'lover of women/men' or 'good listener' or 'squash player' or 'dancer' or 'university student' or 'musician.' You can put on 'experiencer of dark truths' again if you find yourself missing it.
 
You need to stop ruminating on those notions so much. They are only thoughts.
Try and get up and out. Society can seem silly, however this should not prevent you from enjoying yourself.
It seems if you really gave a rats arse you would not be staring into space. I could be wrong. But it sounds like you are depressed, not in a cosmic metaphor known
as the dark night. Chin up! :)
 
copelandia. said:
It's been a year today and I started searching online for answers. I think that I'm experiencing the "dark night".

I have secluded myself from others and have been in fairly poor health, cannot sleep etc.

My mind is racing, society seems ridiculous and I find myself staring in a trance-like state at nothing for long periods of time.

I've started university but I'm finding it very difficult to even try and attempt to study...

What I'm asking is - where do I search? how much longer will I have to go through with this?

I really want to get through this already, it's been a year!
Click to expand...

<3

As someone who's been going through this for two years now i have much sympathy for you, this is a long process of learning to let go; the stripping away of identity.. how long it takes depends on the individual. The purpose is to allow emotions and thoughts to arise and pass without identification; the more you struggle and attempt to escape feelings of despair and agony the more you try to remove yourself from the moment.. this is what is been taught by the dark night.. you can't go anywhere else.. because your already there. Notice how no matter what you do, where you go or how much you change your life up, its still the same.. this is the point.

Your entire identity structure is been deconstructed down to 'no-thing' and no matter how willing you may believe you are to allow this to happen, you will fight it until your last breath.. only when you finally 'let go' and fall into the void.. you will come out the other-side laughing at the realization that it was only you getting in the way of realizing yourself.

Over the years i've come across many sites, but i found this one particularly helpful.

- http://www.lovebliss.eu/Satsangs/11_Dark_Night_of_Soul.htm

I would also suggest checking out some of Adyashanti's video's, he often records his meditation retreats where people like yourself ask questions relating to their own spiritual journey.

Take care.
 
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Mala,

Have you actually experienced this void you speak of and the subsequent ecstatic release you describe?

Have you thought of these things or heard them being described by someone before experiencing it?
 
Cope,
You said that you have found someone you love who is leading you on this spiritual journey. Who is she in relation to you (lover, friend, family)?
 
juniorcat said:
Mala,

Have you actually experienced this void you speak of and the subsequent ecstatic release you describe?
Click to expand...

Yes, a couple of years ago during the "experience" of a spiritual awakening.

juniorcat said:
Have you thought of these things or heard them being described by someone before experiencing it?
Click to expand...

No, i had the experience and then in an attempt to integrate and piece together what had just happened i began studying Buddhism, Integral Theory and practicing meditation. Some of what I've said in my above post is my own interpretation, and some of it the interpretation from those who i feel are in a greater position to explain the phenomenon then myself who is still going through this process, despite how it's colored it still retains the same fundamental purpose; the total breakdown of all identity structures remaining in the individual.

St John of the Cross called it 'The Dark Night of the Soul'
Jesus referred to it as the 'Narrow Way'
Some Buddhist practitioners compare it to the 'Sixteen stages of insight.'

This all may have nothing to do with what hes going through, only he will know for sure. I'm just offering perspective from my own experience and that of the insight of others.
 
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thanks for your posts malakaix, it's always good to hear that someone else is on the same journey. the links you provided are awesome =)

juniorcat - she's a lover.
 
There may not be any specific answer that you need to find. Periods of intense suffering, whatever they are labelled as, can be catalysts for huge growth. After diving down into hell you get the opportunity to experience life with a new perspective. All my biggest lessons have been through pain and if I could consciously choose other methods of learning I would. We are where we are.
 
Hey everyone, I believe I am also going through this!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini_syndrome

Under symptomatology; I have experienced every single one of those symptoms and am experiencing them right this second.

This all started off from a high dose LSD trip I had 7-10 months ago. I had an ego-death experience. A month after my trip, I started getting these symptoms. I've had them ever since.

I need someone who has gone through this! (is Mala still around??) please if anyone know's where my head's at contact me!!

Thank you!!
 
Sounds like you've been taking things too much too fast....slow down bro...it comes with the territory of being a psychonaut. As many of us have learned!
What is happening is you have opened yourself up too fast...at a pace your not comfortable with....which is causing your symptomology.
Number one thing is to not worry and dwell on it...in fact you should embrace it and Integrate your experience. Don't trip until you are comfortable with the pace you are at....Your new sense of awareness can be pretty daunting if not well prepared. Good luck on your journey brother...the psychonautical journey definitely isn't for everyone<3
 
The setting for the hymn is the same as in Sri Gopi Geet in Srimad Bhagavatam - the Dark Night when the mind gropes about for a glimpse of the Lord, which appears to be a hopelessly futile exercise.
Ehi Murare Kunj Vihare
^more then the hymn or song, is a story, that is not biased, it is original and for you to interpret.

what helps me in minutes often when i am totally fried out feeling physically and emotionally drained. personally, Merkaba meditation techniques are invaluable. this i have found very effective with in minutes i say again. along with this, a 'protective mantra', specifically for kundalini energy i dug up and use now regularly:

~Aad Guray Nameh

Jugaad Guray Nameh

Sat Guray Nameh

Siri Guru dayvay Nameh~

translates as:

"I bow to (or call on) the primal wisdom.
I bow to (or call on) the wisdom through the ages.
I bow to (or call on) the true wisdom.
I bow to (or call on) the great transparent wisdom within"

one example i have seen it suggested, exhibited else where in a relative fashion, and experienced it myself as beneficial in a grounding, annd inspiring up-lifting way for many reasons, especially having to stay so contained and peaceful to simply project fun and interact with children, making a face, or mocking little kids, how they are sitting or something in random places, so that they notice and are entertained is a powerful balancing technique. children are especially attuned, that is fairly common knowledge, so this interaction is enlightening for everyone - of course the parents watching enjoy this as well, little happenings like these are everywhere, just sitting in a Dr office or line ot the DOL.

dont worry and think about chances, this is a chance be what makes it happen. understanding what is actually happening, knowing you arent possessed by some spirit is your key to control yourself. there is no other way, you need help and can find A teacher, the cult type sciences, and rituals etc. can wait if felt necessary later...what is important is to understand further that this is you, you are God accept that, and move on with the responsibility which is inclusive unto yourself until you have are fully realized, as in you cant run or hide so reach down and lift it up and out, then find what peace you have is troubled by, purge the negativity - in the most productive way you can, this energy is talent, the personification of the self, to do with that is to with yourself what you do best.

reach out and start doing, your energy will guide you through what is practical for you, begin to master this body and mind we all have, then refine past your egos naggings to your soul priorities, be you. just be you.


this thread is, rather unique...to say the least, i felt i must add something, because i would of liked to of read it myself.
_________________
in all sincerity, feed yourself properly, better then ever, learn and live a Sattvic Diet and principals.
 
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