Evergreendreams
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2015
- Messages
- 30
I don't know why I have not posted about this before, maybe because it was a very scary experience. I will try my best to explain this with great detail to create a picture for you all to see..since that is the best way to describe drug trips IMO. I will also try to not get too personal with it. I had a lot going on all at once when this trip happened. I was in a dangerous place, mentally.
A couple weeks before my (now ex) husband and I got married, we started using spice. He started before me...before the two weeks before our wedding, but I never really tried it until those two weeks before the marriage, mainly because I was running college track at the time and I couldn't afford to smoke. Had to keep those lungs in tip top virgin shape.
We started using it only on the weekend with a friend. It quickly became the only thing we wanted to be doing. We had no idea where to buy it, just use through a friend. It wasn't until three months after we married that things started really picking up... We found a place to buy and we were using every day. Only at night to fall asleep and relax after a long day. Through that Fall, our usage went up and down, depending on our work schedules and how much we were working, etc. The less we worked, the more we smoked. Before ever using spice, I had only smoked weed a few handful of times and only with friends. I also did Adderall for about 3 months, but that was it. No other drugs and I wasn't really looking for other drugs, until this all happened to me. I used to always research the drugs I was taking and make sure I was using safely. When I got hooked on Spice, I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to get high. After 6 months of use, we became mentally addicted to it. All of our extra money went to our Spice habit. We finally calculated it all out and figured we were spending $500-$700 on Spice a month!!! That did not stop us. Im writing this part of the story because people need to realize HOW DANGEROUS SPICE REALLY IS. They laugh and think its a joke when I tell people "I was addicted to spice and its horrible. I never will smoke anything again, no matter what it is. That's how bad the experiences were!" I get laughed at, often. I don't care, that shit fucked me up and I am so lucky and fortunate I did not get permanent Psychosis from it. Yes, I had to go to rehab for it. Thank God, I voluntarily went and I am sooooo glad I did.
I smoked Spice for two years with my then husband. The last year was the worst. We averaged 10-15 grams a day between the two of us. We fought constantly when we weren't high and if one of us smoked the last of it, someone was getting dishes thrown at their head. Happened many times.
I remember this specific time that scared the shit out of me. Only me. Ex husband and I were on a double date with our best friend and his girl. We all smoked in the car before heading into the theater to see a movie. Passing the pipe around, smoking for a good half hour. I remember everyone was laughing, talking about things and finally...I just remember freezing. My husband was in the drivers seat next to me. I was staring straight forward in the car, my skin was cold, but I was so hot. I was burning. Literally burning in fire. I didn't see any fire, I felt the fire raging in and all around my body and skin. "Why cant I move?" I remember thinking in my head...I could not speak. No matter how hard I tried, I could not move a muscle or speak. I thought I was PARALYZED. I remember noticing kids, families, parents getting out of their cars around us to go see movies...laughing and running. I felt trapped, I felt humiliated by my own mind which was my prison...it was mocking me by hearing the laughter from the children. I heard voices, they said "You deserve this. You will burn." I knew exactly where I was "supposed" to be...I was in Hell. I took a trip to Hell and nothing in the world or not of this world could take me out. I remember pleading God in my head "Please God, get me out! Please please please please...Get me out! I hate this..please" I am not even a religious person...I was raised that way, but strayed away from it severely at this point. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. They were cold as ice and I still could not move. A strange thing also, I have tattoos and where my tattoos were I felt extra burning...like they were being burnt off my skin and I thought I was being punished for them...it felt like this trip was lasting a life time and I seriously remember feeling like I was stuck this way and paralyzed. After what felt like hours, I noticed my body slowly gaining muscle notice...not even movement ability, I just started to notice my muscles were there...very weir feeling. It felt as though my body was dead, but my soul was still inside and the body itself was not responding but my soul was screaming. I was very conscious, but very dead on the outside. As I started gaining what seems as a physical, outside muscle conscious back, I heard our friend in the back seat of the car say "Oh my God, she is so high..." and my husband looked at me and asked "Babe, are you ok?" I still could not verbally respond, so I did the best head shake no I could manage, more tears streamed down my face uncontrollably now. Finally, I seemed to gain my verbal ability back very slowly. I didn't tell him or anyone at the time of my experience. He just noticed I was crying and when I finally could tell him, I told him "I just had a very bad trip. A very bad trip." He said "I know...are you ok?" which is weird...because how would he have known? I still haven't asked him about that yet, but I will.
Moral of the story, this shit is bad. When I first started using it, I got very very sick. Vomitting, passing out and blacking out, hallucinations, blurry vision, extreme anxiety, depression, schizophrenic and bipolar tendencies... but we didn't care.
I went to rehab for it, because I started doing it at work and it was affecting me. People started noticing. I knew I needed to change and my life was about to get fucked if I didn't. When I got the medical attention I needed, they told me over and over again I was real lucky that I had no irreversible side affects that stuck with me after two full years of heavy usage. The side affects weren't pretty either, Im talking irreversible and permanent Psychosis and Schizophrenia.
Im sorry this is so long, but within that first week of me using, I hallucinated I was in Italy. I was walking the Roman halls and there were pillars of fire to light the hall. I remember meeting Mushoo the Dragon from Mulan, he was annoying. (if anyone knows who I am talking about, the Disney movie..) and then I came back to reality and there was about to be a Tornado coming through North Carolina...
Don't use Spice.
A couple weeks before my (now ex) husband and I got married, we started using spice. He started before me...before the two weeks before our wedding, but I never really tried it until those two weeks before the marriage, mainly because I was running college track at the time and I couldn't afford to smoke. Had to keep those lungs in tip top virgin shape.
We started using it only on the weekend with a friend. It quickly became the only thing we wanted to be doing. We had no idea where to buy it, just use through a friend. It wasn't until three months after we married that things started really picking up... We found a place to buy and we were using every day. Only at night to fall asleep and relax after a long day. Through that Fall, our usage went up and down, depending on our work schedules and how much we were working, etc. The less we worked, the more we smoked. Before ever using spice, I had only smoked weed a few handful of times and only with friends. I also did Adderall for about 3 months, but that was it. No other drugs and I wasn't really looking for other drugs, until this all happened to me. I used to always research the drugs I was taking and make sure I was using safely. When I got hooked on Spice, I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to get high. After 6 months of use, we became mentally addicted to it. All of our extra money went to our Spice habit. We finally calculated it all out and figured we were spending $500-$700 on Spice a month!!! That did not stop us. Im writing this part of the story because people need to realize HOW DANGEROUS SPICE REALLY IS. They laugh and think its a joke when I tell people "I was addicted to spice and its horrible. I never will smoke anything again, no matter what it is. That's how bad the experiences were!" I get laughed at, often. I don't care, that shit fucked me up and I am so lucky and fortunate I did not get permanent Psychosis from it. Yes, I had to go to rehab for it. Thank God, I voluntarily went and I am sooooo glad I did.
I smoked Spice for two years with my then husband. The last year was the worst. We averaged 10-15 grams a day between the two of us. We fought constantly when we weren't high and if one of us smoked the last of it, someone was getting dishes thrown at their head. Happened many times.
I remember this specific time that scared the shit out of me. Only me. Ex husband and I were on a double date with our best friend and his girl. We all smoked in the car before heading into the theater to see a movie. Passing the pipe around, smoking for a good half hour. I remember everyone was laughing, talking about things and finally...I just remember freezing. My husband was in the drivers seat next to me. I was staring straight forward in the car, my skin was cold, but I was so hot. I was burning. Literally burning in fire. I didn't see any fire, I felt the fire raging in and all around my body and skin. "Why cant I move?" I remember thinking in my head...I could not speak. No matter how hard I tried, I could not move a muscle or speak. I thought I was PARALYZED. I remember noticing kids, families, parents getting out of their cars around us to go see movies...laughing and running. I felt trapped, I felt humiliated by my own mind which was my prison...it was mocking me by hearing the laughter from the children. I heard voices, they said "You deserve this. You will burn." I knew exactly where I was "supposed" to be...I was in Hell. I took a trip to Hell and nothing in the world or not of this world could take me out. I remember pleading God in my head "Please God, get me out! Please please please please...Get me out! I hate this..please" I am not even a religious person...I was raised that way, but strayed away from it severely at this point. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. They were cold as ice and I still could not move. A strange thing also, I have tattoos and where my tattoos were I felt extra burning...like they were being burnt off my skin and I thought I was being punished for them...it felt like this trip was lasting a life time and I seriously remember feeling like I was stuck this way and paralyzed. After what felt like hours, I noticed my body slowly gaining muscle notice...not even movement ability, I just started to notice my muscles were there...very weir feeling. It felt as though my body was dead, but my soul was still inside and the body itself was not responding but my soul was screaming. I was very conscious, but very dead on the outside. As I started gaining what seems as a physical, outside muscle conscious back, I heard our friend in the back seat of the car say "Oh my God, she is so high..." and my husband looked at me and asked "Babe, are you ok?" I still could not verbally respond, so I did the best head shake no I could manage, more tears streamed down my face uncontrollably now. Finally, I seemed to gain my verbal ability back very slowly. I didn't tell him or anyone at the time of my experience. He just noticed I was crying and when I finally could tell him, I told him "I just had a very bad trip. A very bad trip." He said "I know...are you ok?" which is weird...because how would he have known? I still haven't asked him about that yet, but I will.
Moral of the story, this shit is bad. When I first started using it, I got very very sick. Vomitting, passing out and blacking out, hallucinations, blurry vision, extreme anxiety, depression, schizophrenic and bipolar tendencies... but we didn't care.
I went to rehab for it, because I started doing it at work and it was affecting me. People started noticing. I knew I needed to change and my life was about to get fucked if I didn't. When I got the medical attention I needed, they told me over and over again I was real lucky that I had no irreversible side affects that stuck with me after two full years of heavy usage. The side affects weren't pretty either, Im talking irreversible and permanent Psychosis and Schizophrenia.
Im sorry this is so long, but within that first week of me using, I hallucinated I was in Italy. I was walking the Roman halls and there were pillars of fire to light the hall. I remember meeting Mushoo the Dragon from Mulan, he was annoying. (if anyone knows who I am talking about, the Disney movie..) and then I came back to reality and there was about to be a Tornado coming through North Carolina...
Don't use Spice.
