Spend all my month pay on cocaine

[Herraisland]

I was heavily addicted to drugs 1 year ago, my main drugs were oxy's and fentanyl, I did sometime cocaine, speed and benzos. I have been with my gf for 1 year and 5 months wich helped me so much to get over my addiction, now I'm stuck on suboxone 4-6mg daily. 2 days ago I got paid from my job and I was very happy, it was the first time I didn't owe no one money except the bank some small amount, anyway I was so happy because I finally had money so I could buy my gf a nice gift and invite my mom and dad to eat, because they have always had believe in me and helped through my troubled times and I was so happy I could do something nice for them back. That next day my "friend" who I hadn't been talking to for awhile(because he is always high and dealing drugs) called me and asked if I could give him a small ride to town. I picked him up and he had cocaine on him and he invited me to try, I was so stupid to accept.. After the line I lost total control and it ended with I spent all my money on cocaine and I don't understand how could I do this. I spent all my money on some white powder. I'm afraid to tell my gf, I don't want her to leave me. I have been doing so good for the past months and now I failed so bad. I am so depressed and angry at myself and I am full of regrets. I just felt like I had to bring my emotion out buy writing this and hoping someone can inspire me. Thanks.

 

[T. Calderone]

The best thing you can do is stop hanging out with friends who use drugs. That way the temptation won't be there so much and it seems like from that last incident, you can't stop yourself. A month's pay is a lot to spend in two days. I'm not sure what your situation is with having to pay bills. But if needed, maybe you could borrow some money from your parents or someone?

 

[Cheezed]

Coke strings you out. I was on it every weekend for 8 years, Has helped mould me into the jittering wreck I now am! Tend not to go out much anymore but if I do I still sometimes get some (never learn.)

Anyway, sounds like you've been doing well and this is a slip up. try to remain positive and like T above says resist the temptation to hang with that friend. Sounds like he got quite a bit out of you that day, a free ride and all your cash. Stay positive.

 

[Crashing]

Just be honest with your girl, apologize, explain what happened. Obstacles come our way and we get through them.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Did you already do all the coke?

Also, in the future once you get yourself back in the black (not owing any people money) your first thoughts should be on saving that money not just spending it, even if it was for something good. It's really not my place to say and it is your money, you did work for it, but building up some savings is probably a more ideal option. You'll eventually be able to buy presents and dinners, but at least it won't be draining all your money.

I think it's come from the using mentality where once money hits your hand you want to spend it, but I'd really work on trying to accumulate some money.

 

[One Thousand Words]

Work twice as hard this month

 

[Herraisland]

Thanks guys, I really appreciated your advices. I told my gf and she was little sad, but she said she will stand by my side I don't feel really sad anymore. The thing is we always think the worst, when it's really not that bad. We got to keep the positive attitude, things will get better. Tough times never last

 

[dognasher]

Dude, story of my life. Coke is the devil like that - you can not even want it and then - boom - you've blown thousands on it. Trust me. Been there. Done that. Also - and I know you know this from your posts - that ol' coke comedown will have you thinking apocalyptic thoughts for a few days if you have been on a run, and comedowns are just great for fueling guilt and self hatred. Part of recovering is falling down sometimes. The best thing to do is realize you fucked up, that you have a second chance. Unless you drop dead, you ALWAYS have a second chance. Good luck!