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  • Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak

Television South Park

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  • Total voters
    32
Awesom-O. The first scene had me in stiches.
awesomo.jpg


BUTTERS
Yep. That's right. He's a real live
robot. He can walk and talk and everything.
You're like the fourth kid I told already.
Well I gotta go Dougie. My robot and
I have stuff to do. Heheh, they're
all so jealous! I'm so glad you came
into my life, AWESOM-O. You're the best
friend a guy could have.

CARTMAN
Yes. You can trust AWESOM-O. In fact,
you should tell AWESOM-O all your most
personal secrets. AWESOM-O will not
make fun of you or tell your secrets
to other people and stuff.

BUTTERS
Hey yeah! Well I can tell you anything,
huh? Well lessee... Well, for one,
I have what's called a heziated colon,
which means I sometime can't control
my sphincter.

CARTMAN
Could be.

BUTTERS
Well, nobody knows it, but sometimes
I poop my pants, so I have to wear a
diaper to school. You okay, AWESOM-O?


CARTMAN
Yes. AWESOM-O is fine. Please go on.


BUTTERS
Well, I have to take medicine for it
every day. It's a little suppository
I have to ...put up my rectom.

CARTMAN
That, that's very interesting. Tell
AWESOM-O more secrets.

BUTTERS
Hm, okay. Let's see Oh, my parents
don't know, but sometimes I get picked
on by this one kid at school; his name
is Eric Cartman, and he always tries
to play jokes on me and stuff.

CARTMAN
Oh, really?

BUTTERS
Yeah. One time he made me think a meteor
had hit the earth, and convinced me
to stay down in a bomb shelter for three
days.

CARTMAN
Heh. Wow, that sucks.

BUTTERS
Yeah. And then this other time, he pretended
to be me on the phone to my dad and
called him a pussy, so my dad came home
and beat me.

CARTMAN
Wow. Sounds like this Cartman kid is
pretty smart.

BUTTERS
No, he's not smart! He's just an asshole.
And he's never gonna play on me ever
again!

CARTMAN
Really? You think so? Well, guess what,
Butters. I have a surprise for you.


BUTTERS
Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again!
'Cause what Cartman doesn't know is
that I know one of his secrets!

CARTMAN
What?

BUTTERS
When Cartman is playing all alone in
his backyard, he likes to dress up like
Britney Spears and pretend he's her!
Hi sings and dances around with a life-sized
cutout of Justin Timberlake.

CARTMAN
You saw that?

BUTTERS
Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it!


CARTMAN
Nuh uh.

BUTTERS
I've got the whole thing on tape! Even
him making out with the Justin Timberlake
cutout!

CARTMAN
No way.

BUTTERS
Yeah! And if Cartman ever messes with
me again, I'm gonna show that video
to everybody! Then I'll lhave my revenge,
boy howdy!

CARTMAN
...Um, where is this videotape, Butters?


BUTTERS
Huh? Oh, I dunno. It's around here somewhere.
Hey! So what do you wanna do now, AWESOM-O?


CARTMAN
Uh, Butters, maybe you should give AWESOM-O
the videotape?

BUTTERS
How come?

CARTMAN
Well, because... AWESOM-O can, like,
back it up for you, and make copies
and stuff. I am AWESOM-O.

BUTTERS
Oh, that's all right, AWESOM-O. Come
on! I have a lot of things to teach
you.

CARTMAN
Oh, son of a bitch!
Click to expand...
 
-Timmeh banging 'roids

-Shooting the whale onto the moon.

-Kelly! We've got to save our bebe! Lice
 
MR. GARRINSON: Newton first discovered that for every action, there is a Reaction. Now what do you think will happen when I introduce the element of the gerbil to the endothermic heat of Mr. Slave's ass?

Don't forget the Lemmiwinks Quest song...Take the magic helmet-torch to help you light the way, there's still alot of ground to cross inside the man so gay!
 
usually anything with randy marsh is good.

like the time when he rents backdoor sluts 9 and accidently switches it with the lord of the rings. and just as he is about to get into bed with sharon, he takes his robe off and goes "mmm you like that? yeaaaaaa" wearing a blue thong lol...that was a good episdoe. ive seen every single episode, i coudl talk about SP ad nauseum.
 
Number three for the Scott Tenerman episode...

'Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah, I made you eat your parents!'
 
Cartman-No kitty, this is my pot pie! Mom, Kitty's being a dildo!
Cartmans mom_Well I know a certain kittty who's sleeping with mommy tonight!
 
My favorite episode was the pilot, i am not sure if they ever aired it or not. It was the really poorly drawn 15 minute Jesus VS santaclause short
 
The episode where Cartman makes the bully eat his own parents is the best I've seen. The second best is the Dog Trainer episode.
 
A recent one where Cartman tried to get Family Guy taken off the air. He is arguing with this kid who looks suspiciously like Bart Simpson. They are comparing the worst things they've done to see who has the best chance to convince the show's producers. The Bart-esque character says the worst he's done is steal a head off statue...

Cartman's reply,

"Oh yeah that's great, all I did was chop up this kid's parents and serve them to him in a bowl of chilli."
 
oh yeah... and to add to the N_GGERS wheel of fortune episode...

the part when he's at the podium giving a speech to the room full of black people about being called 'nigger guy' by everyone and he says:

"you people have NO idea what its like to have something from your past hanging over your head like that... NO idea!"
 
Definately the episode where Timmy and Jimmy decide to start up a gang called 'The Crips'

Then after that I'll go with the warcraft episode or the Lord of the Rings one
 
How about Mrs Garrison describing lesbian sex:

Allyson: Have you... never even... thought... of being... with another woman?
Janet: Oho goodness no! Of course I haven't. I mean... really I don't even understand how two women can make love. I mean un, unless they just kinda [demonstrates with her fingers] scissor or something.
Allyson: There are a lot of ways to make love, Janet.
Janet: I guess I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little ...tittielated.
Allyson: Could I... maybe kiss you? [gets close, but Janet turns and walks away]
Janet: Oh, this is wrong! You're another woman; it doesn't make sense!
Allyson: Is it wrong, Janet? Let your inhibitions go. Let's just have fun tonight. [they hold hands] No commitments. [Allyson lets go] Just fun. [she grabs his hand and they close in for the kidss]
[Janet's bedroom, later. Janet and Allyson are going at it in bed.]
Janet: Oh yeah, scissor! Yeah, scissor me Allyson!
Allyson: Janet, you're crazy!
Janet: Oh, this is hot scissoring! Ohh! Scissor me timbers!
Click to expand...

Mrs. Garrison: Kids, I need to tell you something that you might find shocking. [sighs] I'm gay. [silence follows]
Stan: Again?
Mrs. Garrison: [sits on the edge of her desk, right leg over left] It was a shock to me too. I... met another woman and... we went to this fabulous bar called "Les Bos" where I finally felt at home. Allyson and I talked, and really opened up to each other and... then we... [demonstrates] scissored all night long.
Click to expand...

Tracy: Hi Janet.
Janet: Lookin' hot, Linda. Wanna go somewhere and scissor later on? [moves away]
Linda: [Woman 2] Huh?
Janet: Hey Patty.
Patty: What's up, Janet.
Janet: Ooo, stop giving me that look. Scissoring me with your eyes.
Click to expand...
 
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