Soundtrack

[Tiredhands]

one (?) more time I conjure a memory I hope to make:
an image of a small house
three, four rooms at the most

We run out of peanut butter, again

again, you assure me that there will be more peanut butter in our future
more time in these rooms.
smoking bottles in the afternoon,
more love to be had,

more crazy to be fought,
someday

I try to imagine what will fuel this MORE

But for now you come only in flashes:
a face
a sharp arch
your voice
and nails

These flashes shudder through me
as I struggle to find the words that fit the way

you

fit

me

(moan)
I savor our whispered past and hold close my heavy dreams of the future

 

[colicolo]

i really enjoyed the eccentricity of this thought provoking insight. nice work

 

[up all night]

I love the way you write and, even better, felt it too.

 

[Tiredhands]

thank you, i really appreciate the feedback

 

[katmeow]

Oh, that was great!

Especially the closing lines.

 

[exoiced]

yep, it's good and fresh aswell

its lines like this that click inside me...

I try to imagine what will fuel this MORE

 

[(Wordy)]

colicolo mentioned the eccentricity of thought, and that sums up what I love about this. It's eccentric but assured, which tells me you're a writer who's comfortable with seeing and expressing the world a little differently. You're not afraid to hint and subtly suggest, and pare your words down so the reader can take it in their own direction.

I really dig these lines:

again, you assure me that there will be more peanut butter in our future
more time in these rooms.
smoking bottles in the afternoon,
more love to be had,