• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

sorry but this sucks... ive been feeling like ending my life... just being honest

3/4 of a 100 cigarette deep? That's probably halfway into your arm, almost to the bone unless it is extremely swollen. Are you sure it's that deep?

And any hospital will be able to take you, you can tell them the last one you went to and have them fax over the records, but just a clean and repack can even be done by your family doctor. It doesn't have to be done at a hospital. Personally I'd get some pain meds (I can't say illegally, but whatever you have to do) and have someone in your family do it with gloves on. It'll save you money from your insurance copay or it'll save you more money if you planned to pay in cash.

Just clean out the old gauze, fold or roll the new gauze (medical grade, not the gauze that breaks apart) and pack it in there. Make sure you cover it with a few pieces of gauze on top so the adhesive from the tape or bandages doesn't mess with the wound. That's in my opinion, your best bet.
 
Suicide occurs when a persons resources for coping are less than their percieved pain. I think this notion is important for everyone to know. Im sure you, the OP, do not wish to really die but you simply wish to be in less pain. You are trying to build coping resourcs, like finding a job, but its hard.

If you live in camden, youre near the train station and can get to philly or anywhere in south nj, even AC. The train will eliminate your car problem. You may have better luck finding a job in Philadelphia. If your future boss was that flakey and shitty be happy you didnt get the job bc something better will come ur way. As for the ex, whats meant to be will be, there are pleanty of fish in the sea for u to choose from if their not giving u the love u deserve.

Killing yourself would not make it easier for everyone else. It would tare them to pieces and change their lives forever. Fight to live, keep going even when u dont want to and things are bound to get better. Keep pushing yourself to find a job and stability. Be willing to work anywhere that will give u a job and work ur way up.
 
Lil Cary I haven't been around in a while however I still remember your posts you were a good guy with a girl and doing pills then. Since then I guess you picked up an iv habit which I have too but quit. Dude I promise if you give yourself a little time and man up go through your withdrawals and experience thinking and life sober again you'll feel better than you probably have in months. You will even be physically more fit nd able to work more hours. I rpomise each day you will feel a bit stronger. Hang in there man
 
I have been there and don't do it! Dont try attempt it! I was going thorugh the same thing! Lost my job, lost my girl was broke had a drug problem. I drank a liter of jack daniels and ate ab 30 1mg kolonpin. Luckly i called my dad and passed out on the phone. Unfortunatly my folks live ab an hour away and could don noting to help me. I woke up tied to a bed in the ended up in the pych center for 4 days. Long story short I thought no opne was there for me. I felt alone. You have to reach out to people and ask for help. Deep down people are good and they want to see people do well for themselves and want to help. You have people that love you. Dont find out the way I did bc you might not be as lucky and not wake up
 
DexterMeth said:
hey lil: It's your turn in in words.......
Click to expand...

thanx i gotchu dex ive been working so i have an excuse my bad





to update everyone

its not fun at all.. yeah shit is a lil better then before ive been using way way way less so the WD's are like nothing now... which is good.. i have been working

the only thing is ive been fighting with my roommate n every time he gets pissed off its o i have to move or i have to get out..

sumtimes i dont do shit at all, its like he just wants to take his fucking anger out on sumone, if hes just having a bad day n wants to take it out on sumone... i guess its open czey season

which i mean doesnt help my self esteem or my depression cuz then its like i feel like im just a problem to people u kno.. i mean i already have no one here in FL me n my x broke up, its almost like i have no one or no reason to stay in South FL anymore u kno..

ive been putting sum serious thought into moving to my moms in NC, n signing up for the military... anyone have any feedback on this?
 
Last edited:
<3 czey. I know a few people who turned to the military after nothing else in their life was helping them turn around. It is an option and will definitely help if that is where you are at in life. Your life is structured in the military. They tell you what your job is, how to do your job, when to wake up, when to do what, they house you, feed you. Everything is handed to you but you have to work very hard at it. I feel like it is helpful to people trapped in the drug/life game and can't get a good hold on anything. Can't hold down a job, can't find a job, can't get an appt. Just having difficulty straightening out life and finances.

In every day life it can be hard to look for a job, learn how to do a job, have free time. Especially being a drug user. In the military your time is allotted out for you. It is definitely an option.

And what is this?
DexterMeth said:
hey lil: It's your turn in in words.......
Click to expand...

This is czeys update on life thread not czeys it's your turn in words with friends thread! :P <3
 
Last edited:
lilczey said:
to update everyone

its not fun at all.. yeah shit is a lil better then before ive been using way way way less so the WD's are like nothing now... which is good.. i have been working

the only thing is ive been fighting with my roommate n every time he gets pissed off its o i have to move or i have to get out..

sumtimes i dont do shit at all, its like he just wants to take his fucking anger out on sumone, if hes just having a bad day n wants to take it out on sumone... i guess its open czey season

which i mean doesnt help my self esteem or my depression cuz then its like i feel like im just a problem to people u kno.. i mean i already have no one here in FL me n my x broke up, its almost like i have no one or no reason to stay in South FL anymore u kno..

ive been putting sum serious thought into moving to my moms in NC, n signing up for the military... anyone have any feedback on this?
Click to expand...

What is your living situation like? Are you on good terms with your roommate? Are you able to explain to him you can't be around negativity during this part of your life as you are recovering?

I would say moving to your mom's place in North Carolina sounds like a feasible option. After you do this, I would re-evaluate your options, to see if signing up for the military is really what you want. It is really up to you. :)

Even during times of stress, you have choices.

And no, I don't think it's open czey season, this is their mating season. ;)

lilczey said:
ughhh im just sick of this BULLSHIT i try my best n its never good enough
Click to expand...

You are making the best of a situation that is not ideal, but is not the worst. That is good enough, and don't get down on yourself when it comes to your attempts to improve your life.

You should have nothing but pride for working on turning your life around. There are so many people who are addicted to drugs, and don't make any attempts to get better, they just continually progress through worse and worse scenarios to continue their addictions. I won't pass judgment on why they do this; some people may have no reason for doing so other than indifference for their lives, however... other people who are this bad off grow increasingly fearful of withdrawal and coping with life without their drug.

You are making great progress by facing this fear head on and getting real ground conquered here. :)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top