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sorry but this sucks... ive been feeling like ending my life... just being honest
- Thread starter lilczey
- Start date
I wish someone would take me in like a cat or something. I feel like a little kid I'm 22 but their love and help alone would get me to stop. I never been told i love u except for people that feel sorry for me or know I haven't been told that and say it
badfish45
Bluelight Crew
Hehe... I like that
Good idea DMI know I feel the same way. People seem to run off their sympathy onto me and I hate it. I hate it so much, I hate when people feel bad for me, even just writing this infuriates me (I'm not kidding or exaggerating either). I mean I'm probably one of the unluckiest guys I know and all people do is just feel bad for me when they see shit happen to me.
PeacePipeChief
Bluelighter
me and my mate are going through the same shit atm , both just keep getting kicked while were down , i cant sleep when i got up at 6 am yesterday morning , walked an hour to catch a bus for an hour , to paint a wall in a country town to work for my doll , 400 a fortnight , just enough for rent and barely enough to survive . once again its 4am , im awake having trouble breathing , but for once im not so depressed cause me and my boy got big things coming , if u work at something it will come true , just depends for how long .
I feel you, all of you. I haven't got access to a suicide way or else I would have been gone by now... I want to leave so bad.
So bad. I can't explain it. I went to the dr. He doubled me to Cybmalta 120 *take two 60s* daily but it's doing nothing for me. I just want OUT. I want OUT! I want out right now. I've got nothing. No money, careless fam, good friend just got shot, no job, cant find a job to save my life.
SO death. I want death.
So bad. I can't explain it. I went to the dr. He doubled me to Cybmalta 120 *take two 60s* daily but it's doing nothing for me. I just want OUT. I want OUT! I want out right now. I've got nothing. No money, careless fam, good friend just got shot, no job, cant find a job to save my life.
SO death. I want death.
Tuesday the 29th I am going to apply for medical front office schools to retrain. When I went to the dr he doubled my cymbalta and I think that may have made suicide come alive for me.
That's over.
I'm going to retrain. I don't care if I have to take a loan. It's better than leaving my grandbabies. Loans are
compared to my children, and their precious babies.
I had enough to this limbo shit.
It's 1:10 a.m. now. My alarm is set extra loud for 8 a.m I will be ready to go to all the "career colleges" and find the best one for the best price and I am CHANGING MY WHOLE CAREER.
It is weird because I dreamed all my life of being a teacher. Well, I was a teacher. It didn't work out but I don't CARE! I have options.
(My friend best friend, a remarkable woman, was somehow able to make me really listen to her until it made total sense to me.) I may not get into a school for retraining. I may not ever be a Medical front office worker. I am going to give this 110%. I have to keep on trucking
I'm changing my career because the fed gov said no more unemployment checks in California for people on their fourth tier (Even though they told me, and I have paperwork, that I had $almost 8000 left in legal federal extension money. That's about 100,000 California's that have been totally cut off from all their bills and mortgages. I'm not the only one. But I'll be the first one in tomorrow for a career change.
My best friend (mentioned above) told me that a good friend of both of ours was riding over to her house and he got shot. Mexicans shot him. (He is Black.) He was right in front of my best friend's house on his bike when it happened. They caught the Mexicans who said he was not targeted. They just felt like?shooting a "N word" randomly in the dark. He is alive, luckily but he will require care for probably the rest of his life. Can SOMEONE STOP THE VIOLENCE?
That's over.
I'm going to retrain. I don't care if I have to take a loan. It's better than leaving my grandbabies. Loans are
compared to my children, and their precious babies. I had enough to this limbo shit.
It's 1:10 a.m. now. My alarm is set extra loud for 8 a.m I will be ready to go to all the "career colleges" and find the best one for the best price and I am CHANGING MY WHOLE CAREER.
It is weird because I dreamed all my life of being a teacher. Well, I was a teacher. It didn't work out but I don't CARE! I have options.
(My friend best friend, a remarkable woman, was somehow able to make me really listen to her until it made total sense to me.) I may not get into a school for retraining. I may not ever be a Medical front office worker. I am going to give this 110%. I have to keep on trucking
I'm changing my career because the fed gov said no more unemployment checks in California for people on their fourth tier (Even though they told me, and I have paperwork, that I had $almost 8000 left in legal federal extension money. That's about 100,000 California's that have been totally cut off from all their bills and mortgages. I'm not the only one. But I'll be the first one in tomorrow for a career change.
My best friend (mentioned above) told me that a good friend of both of ours was riding over to her house and he got shot. Mexicans shot him. (He is Black.) He was right in front of my best friend's house on his bike when it happened. They caught the Mexicans who said he was not targeted. They just felt like?shooting a "N word" randomly in the dark. He is alive, luckily but he will require care for probably the rest of his life. Can SOMEONE STOP THE VIOLENCE?
SM0K3Y
Bluelighter
Yo Czey what's goin on, aint seen you on in a few days. You ever come back around NJ? Post up in here when you get a min.
hey guys i just got outta hospital i had surgery on my arm, i got packing in it now... no MRSA just bad staff i got a decent chunk of my arm missing... they disscharged me too early all i got is anti-biotics.... i mean really no pain meds just for them to change my packing i had to recieve 2 mgs of dilladid iv...
soo yeah i mean shit is a lil sucky right now ive been trying to call these people but i cant really do much i dont have my disscharge papers its in my friends car soo imma have to go back to the hospital
soo yeah i mean shit is a lil sucky right now ive been trying to call these people but i cant really do much i dont have my disscharge papers its in my friends car soo imma have to go back to the hospital
SM0K3Y
Bluelighter
Glad to see you're back, was worried bout ya brah!
Yep thats how hospitals are. They are only allowed to dispense a very small amount of opiates/painkillers. Figure most people don't have a tolerance so they could easily OD someone. And they don't want people getting all fcked up either.
BUT since you are in Florida now, I would make a visit over to one of the pain management clinics and get on that ASAP before you can't any longer. A nice 100-count script of 30's should do the trick....
What do you need a surgeons # for?? To remove and replace packing can be done by a doctor, when my girl had a cyst on her back above her ass I replaced it for her (and it was huge) - you can do it at home just whoever does it wear gloves as to not get the infection you had, or give you a new one.
Yep thats how hospitals are. They are only allowed to dispense a very small amount of opiates/painkillers. Figure most people don't have a tolerance so they could easily OD someone. And they don't want people getting all fcked up either.
BUT since you are in Florida now, I would make a visit over to one of the pain management clinics and get on that ASAP before you can't any longer. A nice 100-count script of 30's should do the trick....
What do you need a surgeons # for?? To remove and replace packing can be done by a doctor, when my girl had a cyst on her back above her ass I replaced it for her (and it was huge) - you can do it at home just whoever does it wear gloves as to not get the infection you had, or give you a new one.
well i mean they kno my case the docs from the hospital have their own practices.. i mean i could do it my self it just kills... they were suppose to send me home with more stuff but they dropped the ball even the nurse said it n didnt do their jobs.. i got about 90 bucks to my name but its all in this persons car soo i aint doing shit until they get off work... i mean i guess i could go to the hospital now but i wouldnt b able to do shit i guess i dunno
SM0K3Y
Bluelighter
If you went to the hospital they could definitely help you out man. They keep records of all that, just because you don't have your paperwork doesn't mean anything. Do you have insurance? That's about the only info you need, but they might have that on record as well.
DexterMeth
Bluelighter
Will your arm work fine again?
DexterMeth
Bluelighter
What is missing then, like just flesh/muscle that will grow back? You might get some scar tissue, but big deal. I have plenty of that.
I'd take smokey's advice btw. He knows what he's talking about.
I'd take smokey's advice btw. He knows what he's talking about.