I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
- Miley Cyrus "The Climb"
Though Miley as an artist not a fan of. I love this song, the lyrics, they just call out to me and my struggles and my journey and my attitude. It doesn't help that she looks like a younger me in ways (hair, eyes, impish grin, chubby face, nice girl). Whenever I am down and almost out, I like listening to this song, it makes me realize I have to keep fighting and not give up on the fight, the journey and my friends and family.
I like how some songs just call out and can mould a whole new mood for you. Sometimes though, not always for the best. Like I really shouldn't listen to Elliott Yamin when depressed, cause he sings Pop songs of love and love lost and shit - both sore spots for me at this time. Though, I can listen to the same type of music but from Elvis Presley and because of the beat and how he really gets into his music and stuff, it doesn't get me down.
Though I suck balls at singing I know something like Kareoki(sp?) one day would help me in my journey to wellness, call it a self CBT. Then again Kareoki (sp????) sucks ass kinda. I dunno, it looks fun when you see them do it in movies and such...but in reality, it probably sucks ass.
I really do need to find a hobby. Though I am thinking of going back to working out for fun at the Y, as I really did enjoy my time and workout when i did a few years back, and now i live closer to the Y so it wont be such a chore just to get there. Also I've been making picture videos, I know how stupid and cheesey that sounds, but it keeps me busy and its kinda nice looking over photos and putting them in tune with music.
I think music is my thang that helps, then again that seems to be common with people with Anxiety, we all seem to LOVE music....I wonder why...? hmn.
I worry about my bestfriend V, she is starting to show signs of Social Anxiety, and it seems to be getting more severe than mine ever was. As she says she needs her Ipod on just to go out when she is alone, I never NEEDED the music, I enjoyed it when i had it on, but I could be just fine without it, well not JUST FINE, but music was only a deterant not a helper for me and really to anyone i think.
Fuck I ache, I really could use with a good massage and/or back cracking. I am sore from head to toe, quite literally.
I think I forgot my pills this morning, I am not showing signs of NOT taking them, but I can't recall taking them.hmn.
Well too late now anyhow. Im okay anyways.
I need to make a better effort at taking my pills, though once CBT starts I am hoping to get off of them, I just freaking wish the referal would hurry up, I hope my doc isnt waiting to see me to refer me erg!
Well, I better get off to bed. My dreams have been a little weird lately, been having more lucid dreams than I have in a VERY long time.
Last night for some reason my younger male cat, somehow became female and had a kitten but it died at birth but then somehow he/she got pregnant right away and was going to give birth again but I awoke. Then another dream where I am just sitting and talking with a friend, just randomly boring shit like that for lucid dreams. You think if i was going to have lucid dreams that i would at least have some sexers in them ya know? haha!
Some of them are TOO good, even in their simple ways and I don't want to wake from them, those days I just want to curl up in my fuzzy queen size comforter (oh shit that thing is so soft and cuddly!) and just go back off to dream land, but with a ADHD 4yr old and the lack of blinds or drapes in my bedroom and that blasted sun in my eye and a kid shrilling "IM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!" well yeah, going back to sleep is never an option. Though it does make me not wonder why I am on birth control HAHA! j/k.
Well, I better get some sleep tonight, last night I got very little as I was jonesing for some caffine and had none, ergh! and it kept me up until 12midnight.
I tried that vitamin water shit that D used to drink and I used to tease him on calling it crap. Its actually not that bad, quite refreshing too. Tastes more like a mix between water and juice... but very fruity. I might try some of the others. I tried the "Focus" one today...not for the name but because it is Strawberry-Kiwi, yum.
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
- Miley Cyrus "The Climb"
Though Miley as an artist not a fan of. I love this song, the lyrics, they just call out to me and my struggles and my journey and my attitude. It doesn't help that she looks like a younger me in ways (hair, eyes, impish grin, chubby face, nice girl). Whenever I am down and almost out, I like listening to this song, it makes me realize I have to keep fighting and not give up on the fight, the journey and my friends and family.
I like how some songs just call out and can mould a whole new mood for you. Sometimes though, not always for the best. Like I really shouldn't listen to Elliott Yamin when depressed, cause he sings Pop songs of love and love lost and shit - both sore spots for me at this time. Though, I can listen to the same type of music but from Elvis Presley and because of the beat and how he really gets into his music and stuff, it doesn't get me down.
Though I suck balls at singing I know something like Kareoki(sp?) one day would help me in my journey to wellness, call it a self CBT. Then again Kareoki (sp????) sucks ass kinda. I dunno, it looks fun when you see them do it in movies and such...but in reality, it probably sucks ass.
I really do need to find a hobby. Though I am thinking of going back to working out for fun at the Y, as I really did enjoy my time and workout when i did a few years back, and now i live closer to the Y so it wont be such a chore just to get there. Also I've been making picture videos, I know how stupid and cheesey that sounds, but it keeps me busy and its kinda nice looking over photos and putting them in tune with music.
I think music is my thang that helps, then again that seems to be common with people with Anxiety, we all seem to LOVE music....I wonder why...? hmn.
I worry about my bestfriend V, she is starting to show signs of Social Anxiety, and it seems to be getting more severe than mine ever was. As she says she needs her Ipod on just to go out when she is alone, I never NEEDED the music, I enjoyed it when i had it on, but I could be just fine without it, well not JUST FINE, but music was only a deterant not a helper for me and really to anyone i think.
Fuck I ache, I really could use with a good massage and/or back cracking. I am sore from head to toe, quite literally.
I think I forgot my pills this morning, I am not showing signs of NOT taking them, but I can't recall taking them.hmn.
Well too late now anyhow. Im okay anyways.
I need to make a better effort at taking my pills, though once CBT starts I am hoping to get off of them, I just freaking wish the referal would hurry up, I hope my doc isnt waiting to see me to refer me erg!
Well, I better get off to bed. My dreams have been a little weird lately, been having more lucid dreams than I have in a VERY long time.
Last night for some reason my younger male cat, somehow became female and had a kitten but it died at birth but then somehow he/she got pregnant right away and was going to give birth again but I awoke. Then another dream where I am just sitting and talking with a friend, just randomly boring shit like that for lucid dreams. You think if i was going to have lucid dreams that i would at least have some sexers in them ya know? haha!
Some of them are TOO good, even in their simple ways and I don't want to wake from them, those days I just want to curl up in my fuzzy queen size comforter (oh shit that thing is so soft and cuddly!) and just go back off to dream land, but with a ADHD 4yr old and the lack of blinds or drapes in my bedroom and that blasted sun in my eye and a kid shrilling "IM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!" well yeah, going back to sleep is never an option. Though it does make me not wonder why I am on birth control HAHA! j/k.
Well, I better get some sleep tonight, last night I got very little as I was jonesing for some caffine and had none, ergh! and it kept me up until 12midnight.
I tried that vitamin water shit that D used to drink and I used to tease him on calling it crap. Its actually not that bad, quite refreshing too. Tastes more like a mix between water and juice... but very fruity. I might try some of the others. I tried the "Focus" one today...not for the name but because it is Strawberry-Kiwi, yum.