something real (leave california behind)

[rewiiired]

Another lonely night
deeply confused and loosing sight
slipping back into the irrelevant and frightening
because in isolation there's no escape from this

I need a trip away from myself
or find that tranquil center within already
long nights studying qabala and astrology
trying to find a road back to the core in me
pondering using the pill again
just to reach the light in me
just to have a working memory
to taste the goal in sight

to feel love again would be nice,
but just some sex right now would suit me fine

sickening, my desperation...
so sad I'm back down to this
grasping for meaning while wandering;
Reluctantly, I hold up hands for hope,
but the heavens just shit

there's no falling into futility this time
there's a life here wasted that could be mine
to mold and revive and fill with reason
I've got to fill my own cup here,
manufacture my own meaning

solitude was all I ever really wanted
till I got a ride to see what I was missing
but I thought I was everything I despised
until she brought something real out in me

it's still there,
and she can't be
the only key

leave california behind
like she left behind
ohio and me.

 

[RareForm]

Reluctantly, I hold up hands for hope,
but the heavens just shit

awesome, i really liked this line.. i mean that sounds like something i would say "that's what i'm sayin" to..

this just shows why you are one of my favorites.

 

[Mariposa]

there's no falling into futility this time
there's a life here wasted that could be mine
to mold and revive and fill with reason
I've got to fill my own cup here,
manufacture my own meaning

Perfectly stated.

I wish I could write as well as you.