I just sat there. Reading the words of the screen. Somehow I had wished I could be a part of them, but knowing I wasn’t. Yet still the words sank deep into my mind and set a path in the way I would think about things for the next few hours or even days. As I walked outside and then yet up my driveway today I realized that somewhere out there someone was looking up at the sky at that exact moment. And the amazing thing was, no matter how sunny, how cloudy, or even how much snow one had, they were still staring that this one amazing still blue sky. Yet knowing this sky just smiled back as I walked back in to my home. I’m not as motivated to go out and see what you see today. I’m guessing that’s only because I haven’t had the chance to look upon what I have. I’ve been to caught up in what I should be doing instead of why I’m not doing it right then. Only wishing that I could take a break and free my mind. Even if only for a day, I’d still want it. It only takes one person to make you see something completely different. I’m in the mood to see…you know just to be able to look at something for the 100th time and see something completely different. Just to walk away from all that I have, and make someone make me realize what I have. There are so many people out there that have it worse than I do, but I don’t see it. Why? Because I’m to caught up in my petty life. To arrogant to even see myself. I woke this morning tired and not looking forward to getting into the shower. After showering, dancing around my room, and forcing myself to drop my pink towel, and look at myself…forcing myself to see the obvious. ME…Standing there no clothes...bare as can be. I forced myself to not analyze what needed to be thinner, what needed to be bigger, and most of all...why I should think I was beautiful inside and out. To much avail it didn’t happen. Just sitting here today reading what you had wrote, then once again over analyzing things, I sat and cried. Watching the snowfall, it’s much too amazing to grasp. I don’t know how to handle myself anymore. I just do what I need to do to get by now n days. Working, getting up, going to school, trying to succeed, and yet still no one even notices the little things in life anymore. I know you do, and I also that a few others do. They say it only takes one person to change something…. I disagree. Its just so sad that we all can’t sit and stare at the still blue sky and wonder about the unknown and think about how beautiful it is.
I woke up this morning and somehow I had this feeling that I had dreamed out you last night. I just felt, alive and bright. But it was weird; I didn’t care about it anymore. I wished I had been along that one private ride with you. Sharing that wonders with you, but I think it did you good to be alone. To understand what was moving inside your soul. I need a private day to sit and travel around my soul. I took that time last night. Searching to see what I had, and I found what I had always hoped I would see. Laying down my head down on my pillow I realized…I AM… just plain and simple…I AM. No one can take this from me. You may be able to break me down and rip my emotions to the floor. You may make love to me and make me forget where I came from that night…but no matter what…I found out…. I AM…
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Sorry for the babbling, but I needed to let some emotion out.
[This message has been edited by xDymnd9x (edited 11 March 2001).]
I woke up this morning and somehow I had this feeling that I had dreamed out you last night. I just felt, alive and bright. But it was weird; I didn’t care about it anymore. I wished I had been along that one private ride with you. Sharing that wonders with you, but I think it did you good to be alone. To understand what was moving inside your soul. I need a private day to sit and travel around my soul. I took that time last night. Searching to see what I had, and I found what I had always hoped I would see. Laying down my head down on my pillow I realized…I AM… just plain and simple…I AM. No one can take this from me. You may be able to break me down and rip my emotions to the floor. You may make love to me and make me forget where I came from that night…but no matter what…I found out…. I AM…
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Sorry for the babbling, but I needed to let some emotion out.
[This message has been edited by xDymnd9x (edited 11 March 2001).]
