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Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2016
- Messages
- 12
I'm a 21 yr old male and just got my Bachelors degree 6 months ago. I started using amps when I was 18 to help me study (adderall, Ritalin, etc.). I never used before then, not even weed haha and back then I was young and naiive (still am young, just not so naiive).
The difference now is that I don't use amps to be productive anymore. I was on them everyday my senior year and got into meth too because of tolerance. Had the worst grades of my life--3.0 GPA which may not sound bad unless you knew what I had going for me.
Had a prestigious job lined up, i was supposed to graduate best in my class at a large university, got awesome recommendations from powerful people in my community, and most of all, a bright future.
Man meth really destroys lives.
Before I uses d-amps to pursue my interests more vigorously and it resulted in achievement/success. Now I use meth to not hate myself. My job offer was rescinded, been unemployed this entire time. Lost my professional connections to the lifestyle (they don't know, but I've been AWOL for 6 months). And the worst part: I have a huge fucking problem.
At my worst I never thought about quitting. I always thought one day I'd have the strength to put it down. Now I realize how lost I was. In reality, I finally want to quit because I lost all of my friends, my life, my money, and my esteem. I guess I found my rock bottom.
I think I'm looking for support here and tips. My problem is one of motivation--i don't necessarily chase the euphoria of amps, I chase that beautiful feeling of wanting to perform my best and having it be so effortless. I'm a smart kid, but I have a hard time wanting to do anything with my intelligence (post-amps) whereas I used to sort of 'force' myself to do well before drugs.
If anyone would care to offer me some guidance, I'd appreciate it.
It's just not like it used to be. It's not fun when it's all you have left.
The difference now is that I don't use amps to be productive anymore. I was on them everyday my senior year and got into meth too because of tolerance. Had the worst grades of my life--3.0 GPA which may not sound bad unless you knew what I had going for me.
Had a prestigious job lined up, i was supposed to graduate best in my class at a large university, got awesome recommendations from powerful people in my community, and most of all, a bright future.
Man meth really destroys lives.
Before I uses d-amps to pursue my interests more vigorously and it resulted in achievement/success. Now I use meth to not hate myself. My job offer was rescinded, been unemployed this entire time. Lost my professional connections to the lifestyle (they don't know, but I've been AWOL for 6 months). And the worst part: I have a huge fucking problem.
At my worst I never thought about quitting. I always thought one day I'd have the strength to put it down. Now I realize how lost I was. In reality, I finally want to quit because I lost all of my friends, my life, my money, and my esteem. I guess I found my rock bottom.
I think I'm looking for support here and tips. My problem is one of motivation--i don't necessarily chase the euphoria of amps, I chase that beautiful feeling of wanting to perform my best and having it be so effortless. I'm a smart kid, but I have a hard time wanting to do anything with my intelligence (post-amps) whereas I used to sort of 'force' myself to do well before drugs.
If anyone would care to offer me some guidance, I'd appreciate it.
It's just not like it used to be. It's not fun when it's all you have left.