beanpoophead
Bluelighter
I wish you could all know
why I do this to myself
why every weekend I push
each weekend I go further
every time that bottle is in my hand
and most of all
I wish I could know
cos I don’t know
what’s pushing me
what makes me. . .
destroy myself
im so afraid
God doesn’t even know
how much it hurts to be me
for these moments
where I cant even squeeze
tears out of my blind eyes
I was so glad to see you
to know that things
between the two of you
were just ok
but here I am
pulling your halo down
only you and another
think that I can actually do this
kill the driving force
that’s killing me
no one else believes a word
cos I’ve lied so many times
this is my story
of drunken lives pushed together
to make me who I am
all the times I tip the bottle high
and let go of all the inhibitions
I have buried deep inside
and if I just loved myself for one moment
maybe I could put this all behind
but im afraid of falling in love
with being the person that I cannot be
the girl with a smile, that is real
without the angst, without the gin
without the broken heart
that no one caused, but me
someone save me
why I do this to myself
why every weekend I push
each weekend I go further
every time that bottle is in my hand
and most of all
I wish I could know
cos I don’t know
what’s pushing me
what makes me. . .
destroy myself
im so afraid
God doesn’t even know
how much it hurts to be me
for these moments
where I cant even squeeze
tears out of my blind eyes
I was so glad to see you
to know that things
between the two of you
were just ok
but here I am
pulling your halo down
only you and another
think that I can actually do this
kill the driving force
that’s killing me
no one else believes a word
cos I’ve lied so many times
this is my story
of drunken lives pushed together
to make me who I am
all the times I tip the bottle high
and let go of all the inhibitions
I have buried deep inside
and if I just loved myself for one moment
maybe I could put this all behind
but im afraid of falling in love
with being the person that I cannot be
the girl with a smile, that is real
without the angst, without the gin
without the broken heart
that no one caused, but me
someone save me

