some words

[Mindless_7]

We are the MTV generation
Constantly bombarded with bright flashing lights and images
Everything at our fingertips
Just switch on, boot up, log in
The possibilities are endless
And time is timeless
Then why this emptiness?
Things of lasting value can’t be found
In this ephemeral space
You need to discover your inner fire
And let it guide the way


not sure about the ending... it sounds a bit abrupt, but i have trouble with endings... any advice? (p.s. i'm a 'words virgin' so pls go easy on me
)

 

[plazma]

A very nice pertinent piece of work. I found that it addressed issues common to almost all of us growing up in this generation, and the phenomenon of 'information overload' while being stripped bare of anything meaningful. I can definately relate to the feelings expressed in this poem.

Endings are always fairly damn challenging to come up with, because once you have a good poem written, there's always the pressure to find an ending that suits, fulfils and adds proper closure to the piece. Your one is abrupt, but certainly none the worse off for being abrupt, given the tone and length of the poem. The only real advice I can give is just to sit there with either a pen & paper or a computer and type out ending after ending after ending until you find one that you think fits.

Anyway, welcome to Words, your first contribution is a good-un.

-plaz out-

 

[Mindless_7]

thanks a lot for the kind words and feedback plazma :D

 

[Raz]

yah plaz rocks...

just to be another voice in the crowd though....I would also advise that you should follow your instincts. I generally finish what I've written and read it once. If nothing looks glaringly wrong, I'll just leave it. There may be things that I'm tempted to fiddle with, but unless it's obviously really bad I'll usually just leave it.

I've gotten my best responses from stuff that I just rattled off without any real preparation.

Welcome to Words! :D