Ok so first of all I have no idea if this is the right place i should be posting this.
What can I start with ?
Well .... I think i failed my first year of college and I will have to re-do it . But seriously I stopped giving a damn , since some months ago, a year maybe I was posting on "The dark side " of how bad my life is going, I started taking anti-depressants ( Cipralex) along with some benzos and I thought.. this is it for me.. a long life living with them and increasing the dose until they won't work.
Well guess what ? I kicked the habit ! As soon as i reached college, I started making the doses smaller and smaller on both cipralex and the benzo until I was finally off them (when I was out of money to buy some more XD ) there were some very bad times, I started having very very bad mood swings , shock waves when i was turning my head.. but I was really focused on living life without this drugs even if my doctor told me I should stick with them some more. After a while seeing that things aren't going so well I decided to smoke some weed so I can get my spirits up, guess what ? It helped me kick the habit of benzos and also reduced the side-effects of quitting SSRIS (that lasted for months ! )
So now , i'm pretty happy that i've stopped using this kind of drugs and I'm feeling more and more like my old self , I don't have panic attacks anymore, the anxiety is.. in a very normal range.. sometimes I'm "too chill "... but I wanted to ask you guys... since i'm feeling kind of bad about this... does the "mean" of quitting SSRIS and Benzos ( gaining my life back ) ... outdo the meaning that I maybe failed my first year of college ? I'm feeling really , really bad about my parents.. and all the money they invested in this (rent, pocket money, etc ) . Because my first semester was a disaster.. it was me vs getting rid of this chems.. so I really didn't go to classes or some exams.
Now I'm planning to restart college life as a normal student, as a freshman if the current teacher won't pass me... so me getting into the second year of college is all depending on an exam I had earlier today. If not.. I don't want to tell my parents just yet(that I failed) . I really want to ace this in my next freshman year have some high grades and break this news to them at the end of the next year.
What do you think ?
Sorry for the long, boring post also bad english !
What can I start with ?
Well .... I think i failed my first year of college and I will have to re-do it . But seriously I stopped giving a damn , since some months ago, a year maybe I was posting on "The dark side " of how bad my life is going, I started taking anti-depressants ( Cipralex) along with some benzos and I thought.. this is it for me.. a long life living with them and increasing the dose until they won't work.
Well guess what ? I kicked the habit ! As soon as i reached college, I started making the doses smaller and smaller on both cipralex and the benzo until I was finally off them (when I was out of money to buy some more XD ) there were some very bad times, I started having very very bad mood swings , shock waves when i was turning my head.. but I was really focused on living life without this drugs even if my doctor told me I should stick with them some more. After a while seeing that things aren't going so well I decided to smoke some weed so I can get my spirits up, guess what ? It helped me kick the habit of benzos and also reduced the side-effects of quitting SSRIS (that lasted for months ! )
So now , i'm pretty happy that i've stopped using this kind of drugs and I'm feeling more and more like my old self , I don't have panic attacks anymore, the anxiety is.. in a very normal range.. sometimes I'm "too chill "... but I wanted to ask you guys... since i'm feeling kind of bad about this... does the "mean" of quitting SSRIS and Benzos ( gaining my life back ) ... outdo the meaning that I maybe failed my first year of college ? I'm feeling really , really bad about my parents.. and all the money they invested in this (rent, pocket money, etc ) . Because my first semester was a disaster.. it was me vs getting rid of this chems.. so I really didn't go to classes or some exams.
Now I'm planning to restart college life as a normal student, as a freshman if the current teacher won't pass me... so me getting into the second year of college is all depending on an exam I had earlier today. If not.. I don't want to tell my parents just yet(that I failed) . I really want to ace this in my next freshman year have some high grades and break this news to them at the end of the next year.
What do you think ?
Sorry for the long, boring post also bad english !
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