drug_wench
Bluelight Crew
these poems are out of my journal of poems i write, just about always under the influence ill admit
i write quite emotively and thats cos ive found poetry is a medium to expressing my intense moods and helps me draw out pain, even blocks drug cravings at times :D
EVENTER'S ANTHEM (about competing at eventing)
Mountains rise inside my gut
I want to place in dressage but
Again my brain's erased the test
Adrenaline will do it's best
Checked our score and as you do
We're right up there on fifty-two
Guess we looked a pair of lumps
Still we'll shoot past on the jumps
Tacked up proud, we do our thing
Sweep clear around the jumping ring
All competitors agree
That we're the fastest, Mav and me
'See the grey - he cleared it high'
Comments casually soar by
I'd love to stop for I agree
But now we're pumped for cross-country
Off we go, so fast it's blurry
Revved up on a jumping fury
Nothing get's in Maverick's way
We're the best time clear today
I know here I have a winner
I'm a ribbon-greedy sinner
He's my steed, I'll say it proud
No matter what he does me proud
TWEAKER'S BATTLE-CRY (about being hooked on P)
Voices screaming, day and night
They're in pain and they will fight
Needing what they never will explain
Never silent, never still
Driving at your brittle will
It's poison but without it you're insane
Try to slow dow you'll be crushed
Yet any more is just too much
A tweaker's battle-cry will never cease
Reality's kaleidoscope
Is too confusing, you can't cope
The demons have devoured you piece by piece
Dirty anger, rotting mind
Tweaker, they avoid your kind
Trapped just like a hamster in a cage
Mama hates it when you use
She knows you've got much to lose
All that does is amplify your rage
You cry for help but where to go?
How can the crazed one ever know
Who to trust outside this crystal shell
Last point, last puff, last hit, last line
Come on, you say that every time
You know right now you're falling right through hell
Your brain becomes a selfish void
Twitchy, manic, paranoid
Seeing things you wish you've never seen
Try to calm your racing heart
Why the hell'd you ever start
That's your life on methamphetamine
MEMORIES (about angsty memories)
Always fade but never forget
The sweetness and slaps in the face
So much power in what I regret
Torture from what I can't place
Making me squeamish to let them arise
Barely I plug them with tissue-thin tops
Dangerous pain and fire in the skies
So bitter, my pain never stops
POISON IVY (a song i wrote about opiate addiction)
This is life, no privilege
Elusive light is sacrilege
Growling thunder, pouring rain
Recreation causes pain
Isolation is a means
To hiding with my tempting dreams
The knight of terror holds the reins
Suckling from my screaming veins
Is this a nightmare? Maybe so
I crave forever, this I know
Poison ivy, here's the key
Make me someone not like me
Eat me open, watch me seethe
Afterwards you'll help me breathe
Hiding woman, dipped in shame
Can't call poison by it's name
Let's it enter night by night
Bathes alone in glowing light
This is me but far away
Screaming night and blissful day
Sleeping deep in laughing spaces
I've got friends in higher places
Bust my cage and set me free
Then hide the lock and swallow me
Poison enters, soothes my head
The blissful angel wants me dead
Poison ivy, here's the key
Make me someone not like me
Eat me open, bleed me dry
On my knees, for you I cry
MAVERICK (another one about my horse)
Lone star playing
Freedom's ghost
To jump the moon's
What he wants most
Space-age traveller
Coast to coast
Leonine mane
Shakes to boast
Proud and staunch
His beauty true
Captivating
All of you
Just climb aboard
Got jumps to do
Light as a feather
Gleaming blue
Crazy speed and
Glowing ride
All his paces
Seem to glide
I'll never run
I'll never hide
With Maverick there
To walk beside
WITHDRAWAL (self-explanatory)
Prone to the world
My skin dripping sorrow
My fists are curled
And I'm bashing the walls
A sad sack of sweat
I am shivering hot
And I'm full of regret
Yet the sugar still calls
'Feed me, feed your shrieking soul'
I'm so sick my guts weep
But I'm pacing around
I just want to sleep
But I'm restless and sore
It's touch and go - can I leave this hole?
Not till the end
Of those long dying days
Drugs are'nt my friend
Yet for them I will grieve
Just for now, I am out of control
BINGE (about abusing drugs)
Night is day and day is night
Spirits gurgling, pour like rain
Fevered, scarred, fluorescent light
And cogs go crazy in her brain
Urgent sense of fight or flight
Briefly there is no more pain
Scratched her wounds an awful fright
Binged and scattered, she's insane
Knows her lifestyle isn't right
Still she does it all again
TRAKEHNER (about the scariest cross-country jump i ever cleared on my current horse - a big ditch with a diagonally-aligned log suspended over it)
Crazy to the horse's brain
Criss-cross, zigzag, ditch
A labyrinth before his eyes
Confusing which end's which
His instincts tell him to avoid
His rider holds him steady
And lets him know they'll conquer it
She'll wait until he's ready
Snorting out a silent prayer
And rocking from his haunches
He loves the pure adrenaline
When finally he launches
Seconds seem to race by
Till he lands on solid ground
And he's amazed to realise
That he'd like another round
Now he's done it once
He knows how awesome jumps can be
For leaping that trakehner
Set his flying spirit free
SPEED FREAK (about being an amphetamine addict)
It's great to see life clearly
So that thoughts burst forth, alive
And endurance lasts forever
That's as long as we survive
Gasoline is violent
Lights the sparks inside the brain
We'll race the roaming highways
Free of care, forget the pain
Shaking with the impact
Feeling confidently numb
We gaze around in caution
Hearts are pumping like a drum
We are friends in fire
Frying in the pits of hell
And it tears our souls to pieces
But it captures us as well
Oneday we'll have to put it out
Before we go too manic
But the burning and the chaos
Bars our own obsessive panic
Only we know how it feels
To need that roaring high
And to keep the rage at bay
Must curb it or we'll die
Although some speed freaks break the chains
This road we walk alone
And it's tough to find tranquility
When speeding's what you've known
i write quite emotively and thats cos ive found poetry is a medium to expressing my intense moods and helps me draw out pain, even blocks drug cravings at times :D
EVENTER'S ANTHEM (about competing at eventing)
Mountains rise inside my gut
I want to place in dressage but
Again my brain's erased the test
Adrenaline will do it's best
Checked our score and as you do
We're right up there on fifty-two
Guess we looked a pair of lumps
Still we'll shoot past on the jumps
Tacked up proud, we do our thing
Sweep clear around the jumping ring
All competitors agree
That we're the fastest, Mav and me
'See the grey - he cleared it high'
Comments casually soar by
I'd love to stop for I agree
But now we're pumped for cross-country
Off we go, so fast it's blurry
Revved up on a jumping fury
Nothing get's in Maverick's way
We're the best time clear today
I know here I have a winner
I'm a ribbon-greedy sinner
He's my steed, I'll say it proud
No matter what he does me proud
TWEAKER'S BATTLE-CRY (about being hooked on P)
Voices screaming, day and night
They're in pain and they will fight
Needing what they never will explain
Never silent, never still
Driving at your brittle will
It's poison but without it you're insane
Try to slow dow you'll be crushed
Yet any more is just too much
A tweaker's battle-cry will never cease
Reality's kaleidoscope
Is too confusing, you can't cope
The demons have devoured you piece by piece
Dirty anger, rotting mind
Tweaker, they avoid your kind
Trapped just like a hamster in a cage
Mama hates it when you use
She knows you've got much to lose
All that does is amplify your rage
You cry for help but where to go?
How can the crazed one ever know
Who to trust outside this crystal shell
Last point, last puff, last hit, last line
Come on, you say that every time
You know right now you're falling right through hell
Your brain becomes a selfish void
Twitchy, manic, paranoid
Seeing things you wish you've never seen
Try to calm your racing heart
Why the hell'd you ever start
That's your life on methamphetamine
MEMORIES (about angsty memories)
Always fade but never forget
The sweetness and slaps in the face
So much power in what I regret
Torture from what I can't place
Making me squeamish to let them arise
Barely I plug them with tissue-thin tops
Dangerous pain and fire in the skies
So bitter, my pain never stops
POISON IVY (a song i wrote about opiate addiction)
This is life, no privilege
Elusive light is sacrilege
Growling thunder, pouring rain
Recreation causes pain
Isolation is a means
To hiding with my tempting dreams
The knight of terror holds the reins
Suckling from my screaming veins
Is this a nightmare? Maybe so
I crave forever, this I know
Poison ivy, here's the key
Make me someone not like me
Eat me open, watch me seethe
Afterwards you'll help me breathe
Hiding woman, dipped in shame
Can't call poison by it's name
Let's it enter night by night
Bathes alone in glowing light
This is me but far away
Screaming night and blissful day
Sleeping deep in laughing spaces
I've got friends in higher places
Bust my cage and set me free
Then hide the lock and swallow me
Poison enters, soothes my head
The blissful angel wants me dead
Poison ivy, here's the key
Make me someone not like me
Eat me open, bleed me dry
On my knees, for you I cry
MAVERICK (another one about my horse)
Lone star playing
Freedom's ghost
To jump the moon's
What he wants most
Space-age traveller
Coast to coast
Leonine mane
Shakes to boast
Proud and staunch
His beauty true
Captivating
All of you
Just climb aboard
Got jumps to do
Light as a feather
Gleaming blue
Crazy speed and
Glowing ride
All his paces
Seem to glide
I'll never run
I'll never hide
With Maverick there
To walk beside
WITHDRAWAL (self-explanatory)
Prone to the world
My skin dripping sorrow
My fists are curled
And I'm bashing the walls
A sad sack of sweat
I am shivering hot
And I'm full of regret
Yet the sugar still calls
'Feed me, feed your shrieking soul'
I'm so sick my guts weep
But I'm pacing around
I just want to sleep
But I'm restless and sore
It's touch and go - can I leave this hole?
Not till the end
Of those long dying days
Drugs are'nt my friend
Yet for them I will grieve
Just for now, I am out of control
BINGE (about abusing drugs)
Night is day and day is night
Spirits gurgling, pour like rain
Fevered, scarred, fluorescent light
And cogs go crazy in her brain
Urgent sense of fight or flight
Briefly there is no more pain
Scratched her wounds an awful fright
Binged and scattered, she's insane
Knows her lifestyle isn't right
Still she does it all again
TRAKEHNER (about the scariest cross-country jump i ever cleared on my current horse - a big ditch with a diagonally-aligned log suspended over it)
Crazy to the horse's brain
Criss-cross, zigzag, ditch
A labyrinth before his eyes
Confusing which end's which
His instincts tell him to avoid
His rider holds him steady
And lets him know they'll conquer it
She'll wait until he's ready
Snorting out a silent prayer
And rocking from his haunches
He loves the pure adrenaline
When finally he launches
Seconds seem to race by
Till he lands on solid ground
And he's amazed to realise
That he'd like another round
Now he's done it once
He knows how awesome jumps can be
For leaping that trakehner
Set his flying spirit free
SPEED FREAK (about being an amphetamine addict)
It's great to see life clearly
So that thoughts burst forth, alive
And endurance lasts forever
That's as long as we survive
Gasoline is violent
Lights the sparks inside the brain
We'll race the roaming highways
Free of care, forget the pain
Shaking with the impact
Feeling confidently numb
We gaze around in caution
Hearts are pumping like a drum
We are friends in fire
Frying in the pits of hell
And it tears our souls to pieces
But it captures us as well
Oneday we'll have to put it out
Before we go too manic
But the burning and the chaos
Bars our own obsessive panic
Only we know how it feels
To need that roaring high
And to keep the rage at bay
Must curb it or we'll die
Although some speed freaks break the chains
This road we walk alone
And it's tough to find tranquility
When speeding's what you've known
