Some advice

Sumph

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 16, 2013
Messages
75
Location
UK / NL
Hi, I have a slightly younger female friend (17). I am rather worried about her drug use, she is currently using mephedrone and cocaine. She started around 8/9 months ago with mephedrone and around 1 month in, told me she was going to stop and that she couldn't believe this had happened, it was around this time that she got a much older (27) boyfriend, who is basically an unemployed man who does drugs and really not the type of person you would want your daughter to be associated with.

She then joined the 6th form college that I go to (I am in my last year, she is still in her first) and mentioned that she was still using, this rang alarm bells after what she said. She seemed to talk about stopping but at the same time she was (and still is) very open about her habit and told many of us on the bus in an almost boasting manner of how she had spent x amount of days without eating or sleeping just doing lines. This continued, and she was saying that she would need around 15g+ in a single session. I spoke to her about it and she seemed to talk as if she was slowing down, and her habit didn't seem to be getting any worse.

We have just got back from christmas break and things are definitely worse, towards the end of last term she started doing cocaine as well as mephedrone and she has told me some disturbing stories. During the break she seemed to spend almost all of her time on it, she seems very very socially detached at the moment and she is definitely not quite there atm. around 4/5 months into using she started spending a lot more time with her boyfriend and now essentially lives with him. One of her old friends who gets on the bus has mentioned that she has invited her to spend time with her quite a few times but it seems that she would rather do drugs, and they have not spoken for quite a while (they used to be best friends). She seems to be surrounding herself with drug users and people who are generally off the rails (there is a couple in a similar situation to her and her boyfriend that they spend a lot of time with).

She has recently told me of things which occurred such as going to a hotel, purely to get on it, she told me that at this hotel she had a hallucination where she walked past the mirror and saw her boyfriend in the reflection, to me this sounds like a non drug induced hallucination (as in it wasn't the drugs causing a temporary hallucination, it's the damage the drugs have done to her), possibly with a meaning but she didn't seem to pick up on it with the way she was talking about it. Me and her old best friend are planning to talk with her in private in the very near future, but I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice to stop this girl form falling into the pit of drug use and not achieving her aspirations, her nose is already very very worn and I would give it a few months till her septum is gone, which in my eyes is the point of no return.

Any help would be much appreciated, if this is in the wrong forum I am sorry.
 
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Talk to her and let her know of your concern about her use and her hanging with this guy. I've seen close female friends go through this, but instead with methamp. Unfortunately it's their say in the end, and if they don't want to listen or help them selves then you really can't do much.

IMO she's not going to stop doing what she's doing until shit starts to hit the fan for her. People tend to not quit drugs or their lifestyle until things start becoming a real problem.
 
^ Agreed with above, there's not a lot you can do until she is ready to stop using these drugs on her own. Just be there as a friend and hope she gets this out of her system. From my experience, people don't want to be told how they are messing up their lives and sometimes it makes them turn away. But you can stay in touch and encourage her to continue her studies.
 
This is exactly what I feared, it seems there is no real way out. On the positive side, she told me today that the police are under the impression that her boyfriend is taking advantage of her for drugs (very possible) due to her going missing with him this weekend and she is on some kind of list and needs to see a mental health adviser. He is very abusive to her in a mental sense and really is not a nice man, I don't like the way the cops are treating her in this situation, but hopefully it is a way out, she can't stay with him. You can close this if you like as I think it is relatively sorted. I really feel for other girls in this situation, though as I have heard a few stories about this kind of thing and it is disgusting.
 
Hi Sumph, So this girl is under police scrutiny because of the boyfriend's drug use? I guess they may be trying to get her help by requiring her to see a mental health advisor in an attempt to steer her in the right direction. Her parents must be very upset as well. Keep doing what you are by talking and being a good listener. See how things develop, I'll leave this open in case you want to talk some more. Let us know what happens ok, you're a good friend! <3
 
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