Social Anxiety

[ScHoolboyQ]

Since my last thread got closed, I figured I'd explain my social anxiety. Basically, I'm afraid of most social interaction. I'm terrified to make phone calls to ask about a problem with my TV or to order food or anything like that, I feel like they'll judge my voice or how I talk and think that I'm weird or something and I get really anxious leading up to the call and it is the biggest relief after it's over but I still wonder if they're like talking to a co-worker and laughing about me. Speaking of laughing, whenever I'm like standing in line or walking through the mall and I hear people laughing behind me or see people walking towards me laughing, I think they're laughing at me and my cheeks flush red and I get really embarrassed and I can't really talk. Then there's when I'm ordering food in person, I feel really self-conscious about what I'm saying and how I order it in case they think I'm weird and sometimes I won't get what I want because I don't want to ask for what all is on it and I'll just settle for the first thing I see to get out of the situation. And there's when I'm getting asked a question in front of people or just talking in front of people and I get really embarrassed and I lose my voice or it cracks when I try to answer and I get even more embarrassed. There's a few other things but I won't bore you guys anymore. What can help me? Is there anything I can do to make it better?

 

[neurotic]

not drugs. since you have social anxiety all the time, you will need them all the time, and that's, well, drug dependence.

the best ways are through some mind work. firstly, practicing mindfulness and meditation are great ways to cope with anxiety when it strikes. read and learn all you can about it. if you have a smartphone, download the Headspace app. it has ten free sessions on mindfulnes/meditation. just listen to them, they will help you greatly, even more if you practice mindfulness on a daily basis.

mindfulness - just in case you're not familiar with it - is about being aware of your thoughts, and letting them be there. aware that they cannot hurt you, and are just thoughts, also driving your focus away from your thoughts and into things like breathing and your body. it really helps with anxiety attacks.

furthermore, you have to find the psychological roots of your social anxiety (i assume you are of the shy type). find the core beliefs that make you think that social interactions are so dangerous, and change them. this can be done with cognitive behavioural therapy, with a therapist. a good introduction to CBT is the moodgym website (here: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome). it needs registration but it's totally worth it. look into it, man, seriously, it helps a lot!

i feel you bro, anxiety is a bitch. but seriously, benzodiazepines are a terrible idea. this comes from personal experience. i was the slightly anxious type, and decided to take benzodiazepines only when anxiety got unbearable, or when it would mess up situations where keeping cool was crucial. as the 'if i get anxious, i just pop a benzo' grew inside me over time, my abilities to deal with anxiety on my own greatly diminished, and i started needing to take them more and more often (and obviously it only gets worse). it started from infrequent and innocent use to almost daily use now. even though i don't take them everyday, i pretty much need them everyday and the days i don't take them (afraid of it getting worse) i am totally unfunctional. you don't want this to happen to you.

good luck bro!

 

[ScHoolboyQ]

Good advice, thank you very much

 

[Rybee]

May I ask you a personal question - please don't feel inclined to answer if you don't feel comfortable.

Do you believe that your social anxiety is a product of your environment, down to an inherent neurological disorder, or genetics?

The root cause of psychiatric disorders fascinates me and I always like to get an insight of people's opinions.

When I was told that my Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder was effectively a 'neurological chemical imbalance' by many doctors, I bought into it. However, since confronting both disorders through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I now know this to be absolute bullshit and both were just a product of my environment. I'm not suggesting that all mental health issues are so, in fact, I'm convinced that some are purely genetic.

 

[FURI]

SchoolboyQ.. we are the same page. Except my anxiety is even worse if you can believe that. I have PTSD, severe agrograpgobia (damn I know I spelt that wrong) and bipolar depression/disorder. I've been on the "turtle drugs" zoloft and seroquel for years.. I actually last week just got put on lithium as well. I take 4 mg ativan daily and used to take xanax on top of that .50 mg X2 day , for breakthrough episodes.

Anyway... if I could back in time and slap myself and if I have any advice for anyone from LOTS of experience is stay away from benzos. I can't judge, especially in my situation, if the anxiety is so bad you are puking and hyperventilating then ativan is needed.. (that's the point I get to) but I had an incident not too long ago.. where I basically got stranded where I was and had to wait to get home. OMFG! worst 26 hours of my life.. my heart rate was literally 148 bpm. ( yes I k ow some of you may call bullshit but I swear to God and am not saying it for shits and giggles, metropropol is part of part of my daily regime too) try the cognitive behavioroil therapy... and I totally agree, the benzos become a crutch over time.

Feel the adrenaline rush? Pop an ativan. Anxious some? Pop an ativan... we all have different stories aND I can't compare mine to yours.. Rybee is correct.... then when. Your crutch needs a crutch? Good luck... you end up with your service dog barking at everyone who gets close to you while you are puking your brains out in the parking lot teying to get the courage to go inside. (Dramatic? Yes.... has this happened to me before? Yes)

Take care... listen to your instincts but try not to listen to that Damn "fight or flight" mode we get.... I hope I helped and didn't make anythjng worse

 

[Epiper888]

I agree with all the other people. Stay away from benzos. But I wouldn't swear off drugs completely. There are drugs that are much safer. Maybe you could try Lyrica or Gabapentin. They do have some minor withdrawals but nothing close to benzo withdrawal. SSRI are just a ploy for drug companies to make money. they do work for some but haven't shown much in people with anxiety. You could also try natural remedies like valerian root. Mediation can also be effective.

Wish you the best.

 

[manboychef]

I take temazepam at night because I get terrified at night.

I used to be terrified by social situations so I decided to empower myself by working out constantly, and eating healthy.

I took boxing classes as well as martial arts classes from my cousin.

If someone so much as looks at me funny, or a girl catches my eye, I go for it.

The power is yours man, you just have to be willing to grasp it.

 

[FURI]

Funny you mention Lyrica Epiper888..... might help OP. .... I'm actually on that too..150mg X2 a day... lyrica has nasty withdrawals though, if I may politely disagree from my own experiencd, not as bad as a Tramadol as (I think Tramadol never did crap for me, when you are on as much as I am they actually tell you Not to take Tramadol due to a risk of serotonin syndrome) but your not going to get benzo with and opiate withdrawal.. that's a fun combo... said no one ever. Anyway Lyrica made me a little manic and gave me sort of a high the first few days of starting after that tolerance builds up... fast. I take it for Lupus/fibromyalgia. I have never heard of a doc prescribing it strictly for anxiety, might work short term if you have depression pain as well. Gabapentin/neurontin too.

I think SSRIs are crap thankfully I'm technically only on one as bipolar meds work differently. Don't expect any miracles unfortunately, not teying to be a stick in the mud, just saying as I've been there and back again. As I'm sure many people on this forum have been. The benzos are tempting... and if there is a full blown panic attack they have their place... but trust me you don't want the habit I got. And I'm sure this is a broken record but it's true... benzo withdrawal can be deadly, and the feelings that come with it......I would not wish on my worst enemy. And tolerance creeps up so fast your head will spin. Doctors have no problem prescribing all this shit... i swear you could have your leg split open and beg for pain relief and be lucky to get a T3... tell em your anxious and it starts out maybe "as needed" but here ya go... one way ticket to more insanity : (

I don't know much about natural remedies.. j have heard of valerian don't know much about it. Melatonin too as well of you have trouble sleeping?

Take care.

 

[noone1]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I concur don't rely on drugs. However if you are going to do extensive therapy using the drugs as a tool is not unreasonable just make a plan with your doctor and have a time period where you will get off them.

Personally I have found CBT to be worthless but that's because I let my social anxiety get too bad over the years without doing anything and I can't make myself do the exercises. The longer you wait the harder it is.

 

[Al12]

Lorazpeam and xanax work pretty well, although they come with their own downsides. Tolerance seems to go up quite quickly and there is the risk of addiction.
If you want to try something that may help you with social anxiety try with Piracetam. Its basically not toxic and its pretty good, makes you confident and alert at the same time without any comedown when the medicine wears off.

 

[switchtop]

Social anxiety is basically one of the most debilitating disorders affecting 1st world countries.
People with social anxiety almost ALWAYS go through a period of self medicating. And then if they're lucky, I mean REALLY fucking lucky, they'll find a doctor who gives a flying fuck and is competent at the same time. If they'r unlucky, they'll overdose and die, all for just trying to solve the problem in their head by themselves.
And this is what creates people like me. I don't trust the medical profession. I've been self medicating since before I even knew what it meant.
I frown severely upon the modern medical field.

It's all a never-ending cycle:
-People with bad anxiety can never seem to get a viable solution from a doctor, so they go back to self medicating.
-After self medicating for some time, they work up the courage to try to seek help again
-etc. etc. etc. Like a broken record.

I'm not trying to discourage you. In fact, I'm trying to help you feel more like you're a meaningful part of the "larger" problem here.
Social Anxiety is often treated like a joke. Especially if you're a male. The advice is to "man up" and "get over it"

Best of luck to you. I hope we can all make it out of this slump safely and in good health

 

[FURI]

Yes..... this ^^^^^ We should of all been a doctors. Apparently doctors never get sick or feel pain and anxiety cause they are have no empathy or sympathy for someone that needs some help. They chuckle and tell you you stress, if you even get that response. I found an ok doc.... but he's got me on more pills than a 90 year old and I'm 29! plus yes obviously something is wrong (PTSD,bipolar,lupus) but how do you now only see me for 15 mins maybe 20 and assess how I'm doing? And his office is PACKED with people I wait outside with my service dog cause I get dirty looks that she is with me

It's not in our heads, not when millions of people feel the same fucking thing! It's amazing to me how they ignore us all and just have a total disregard and that I am God attitude towards all of us. Then the cycle you described starts again.... sad... when they see us all they see is $$$ and if you have insurance as soon as your deductible is met you suddenly need this or that test. Ok rant over... sorry I'm having my own episode of lupus and on alot of prednisone.... sorta agitated today for some reason : p

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Definitely talk to a doctor, or even therapist. Good luck. I have social anxiety too but it's not so bad that I can't make phone calls, or talk to strangers.

I found Adderall/Dexedrine to be helpful in low doses but I was prescribed them for ADD at the time.

 

[Crashing]

I too have social anxiety, but my girlfriend has it just like you do. Can't make phone calls, it's always a long drawn out last minute process that she dreads and eventually has to pop a Xanax in order to even pick the phone up.

I think maybe reading into cognitive science or psychological literature will help. I always like to recommend Prometheus Rising. It's a good read at the very least, and has helped me to understand myself more.