Sobriety with Psychedelics? (HUH?)

[nearjat]

Thanks everyone, yeah I'm definitely not taking anything until I've got a good while sober. At least until my aftercare outpatient is done with.

 

[Ghettochrist]

This thread was quite helpful to me, im trying to go sober from everything even one drink of alcohol at the moment to see if i can gain ultimate clarity or just more control over myself and my life instead of never knowing what's going on with me or my life.

But i find more and more confusion is uncovered as i stay clean but i need to uncover to first solve it.

I think about ketamine and laughing gas, psylocybin and mescaline like every damn day lol.

and all my nice memories.. it's so hard but i feel well i hope and feel i'll be rewarded.. i do tell everyone now i've given up and would feel shame in getting high right now, but i want to be able to think i can go back to having one or two more amazing sessions atleast in my life time... cus i feel sad if i think it'd be no more ever again, but these thoughts also contradict the way im trying to live right now so it's best to try not to think and think life will just manifacture the perfect scenarios for me.. where forgiveness to myself occurs and i have enough control over my life again in order to have a one off trip or whatever without it negatively effecting me or my close ones finding out.

all just speculation aha.. i dont know i got hope and faith though.

 

[lilfoot]

Very nice post roger man I almost feel like I HAVE to participate in NA/AA because my parents are active in AA (30 years sober both) and to them not going to meetings is a "relapse mindset". I do like a lot of the stuff the twelve steps say though, basically the idea of admitting powerlessness means to me the same thing as general humility. I don't have ultimate control over everything, there is a higher order to things (as psychedelics have showed me in a way) and I've been fighting that and inflating my ego.

For the most part I'm just trying to surround myself with positive things, and stuff that doesn't relate to drugs. I'm at a fucked up point in my life I think... I'll probably not be on bluelight for a long time. If people want to hit me up, I've got AIM. I dunno man, it seems like AA/NA works for a lot of people and I really want something to work. I don't trust my own brain right now, not until I've got some clean time under my belt. My best attempts at success landed my where I am right now so that's why I don't trust my ideas so much anymore. I just want to find some peace in my head, which I think I can gain from just surrendering to the universe. Let things work out and accept circumstances. I feel institutionalized, I can't fucking think.

i know exactly where you're at, dude. i was there not too long ago.

both of my parents are also AA/NA-ers. i was having a HUGE issue with constant drug usage, stealing cash, lying my ass off, etc... until i got into NA. i learned a LOT of valuable lessons there, although i no longer attend.

here is my recommendation: be bold and be honest. if you want to use psychedelics and still participate in the program, BE HONEST. be honest with your sponsor, with people who ask you about the program you work, with your friends, and your family. tell them why you choose to use these drugs, and in what way you choose to use them. it's your life, and nobody can tell you what to do or how to do it. the most destructive part of addiction for me was having to live a secret life, because i love my family and i love my friends and i love my sponsor and i want to be myself with them and not be afraid of being judged. one day i finally got tired of it, and came clean, and for one of the first times in my life, voiced what i thought and what i believed with no regard for what anyone else thought of it. and guess what? the cycle of guilt, shame, fear and pain was over. i continued to use drugs in ways that i thought they should be used, but i didn't stress over it. i didn't steal money for my next high. i passed up many occasions to get high, and still do. i took responsibility for myself and my actions, and sought moderation in everything. and it WORKED, because i was truthful with myself and the people around me. you'd be shocked at how accepting even hard-headed folks can be when you give them a chance to look through your eyes. :D

all in all, do what you think is best for yourself, but don't be afraid to say that you don't know what's best, either. find someone loving and understanding to guide you through this, and you'll be a much better person on the other end.

that's my 2 cents

 

[Jesusgreen]

As a big fan of psychedelics I don't think you continuing to use them is wrong in any way. Remember not to make it a daily habit once again simply to chase the high, psychedelics should not be about the high, you should learn from them. If you abuse them then they will not be so willing to teach.

I agree with Roger that you should really stay sober for now, I think it's important to show that you can be sober. I know if I were an addict and I quit but moved straight into tripping once a week, the other 6 days a week I'd be pretty bored and I'd probably relapse. Give it a month or two before you go back to any drugs, then limit yourself to psychedelics (and maybe Cannabis) at most.

It sounds like a long time but psychedelics are one of those things that'll reward you for your patience