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Sobriety starts today. Suboxone sucks!!!!!

bdomihizayka

bdomihizayka

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Joined
Jul 30, 2012
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Down the rabbit hole
Today is day one off of opiates. I was maintaining of suboxone for nearly a year at 2mgs a day. I shot it. I couldn't manage to taper lower. I switched over to heroin for a week to give myself a heads start on getting the bupe out of my system.

The suboxone was ruining my life. It made my anxiety and OCD unbearable, to the point I had to go see a psychiatrist and be put on benzos, which I am also addicted to. I've been on 1mg klonopin for roughly 2 months. So as soon as I am done detoxing from the opiates, the benzos follow. I'm obviously a lot more concerned and scared about the benzo withdrawal as I've been there and it was hell on earth, even from low dosages and short term use.

Fuck.... here I go. Will keep this updated.
 
Get some comfort meds! I kicked a very similar sized suboxone habit in rehab last year. It was painful but its nothing you cant get through. I mean honestly once you have been through opiate withdrawal you know what to expect. So yeah sleep while you can when you can is my best advice.
 
The worst part of buprenorphine WDs is the somewhat long duration, the insomnia, depression/anxiety, light-achiness, and PAWs after the acute WDs. Overall, bupe WD's are far from intense if tapered properly; esp not too fast that can be horrible IME happened to myself in a shitty rehab.

But again, in terms of intensity it's a cakewalk compared to high dose IV heroin or for fuck's sake long-term, high dose methadone dependency/overly lenient MMT clinics + high dose benzo scripts or abuse. I got a rapid detox from a daily 70mg dosage of methadone at my shitty, strict-ass clinic; literally 10mg drops for 7 days. Those WDs were honestly torture. I wanted to die and the PAWs were unbearable, ofc I relapsed and OD'd acutally.

I know benzo WD is no joke, I was on multiple benzo scripts including powerful hypnotics like temazepam and alpraz/diazepam during the day. So no rush to detox off the benzo scripts! You have enough on your hands with bupe WD's. You may want to find extra benzo's (esp zo's with strong, long-lasting anxiolysis and muscle-relaxant properties like diazepam would be my most recommended), load up on loperamide w/ omeprazole prior to help lope cross the BBB, gabapentin/lyrica, indica strains or indica-dominant hybrids, ketamine/MXE if obtainable, and vitamins, esp chelated magnesium, potassium ect. helps with RLS
 
Hey bod. I have the same diagnosis as you. OCD and Panic disorder. Listen, they haven't come up with any real responses other than immersion therapy for OCD, and that is real hit or miss. I wouldn't give up on the benzos just yet. I take zoloft 100mg a day that helps keep my obsessive thoughts a little at bay and if I feel a panic attack, or I get stuck in a compulsion I take .5mg of xanax. I don't know about you but I get terrible anxiety when I am in bed...my thoughts race and I start thinking and obsessing like crazy...causes insomnia. I take temazepam 30mg for that. Honestly, I would rather be on the benzos than not. They give my life just a bit of functionality that is needed to get through the days without going absolutely batshit crazy. If you need them than take them. If they give your life functionality than take them. I also go to a therapist to do talk therapy which is also helpful. I only use them as needed, and I can go days without xanax, though I am prescribed up to three doses a day. I would suggest highly talking to your psychiatrist about switching you out to a fast acting benzo, and something for sleep if you need it once you are free of opiates. People with GAD usually need the longer acting ones like clonazepam and diazepam...whereas people that have ocd and panic disorder only need them situationally.

When it comes to stopping the bupe. I did the same thing IV for an extended period of time. Made my money last. It is going to be no cakewalk, but be strong. I am in your corner. Things are going to get rough up to day eight, but after that it will slow down quite a bit, and you will feel better and better....the above poster suggested comfort meds and some supplements...I second this.
If you need anything PM.
 
Thanks for the support everyone. I've been doing good- haven't backslided or anything. Just feel very shitty. I really appreciate ALL the feedback and comments here- it really is helping me! Manboychef- I'm going to stay on the benzos until this is over and then start a slow taper. They're definitely helping me through this. It's honestly not terrible, just annoying- annoying would be a better word to describe subutex withdrawal.... hot cold, gooseflesh, sleep issues.... but I have my emotions back! And I fucking LOVEEE that!! Feels so good to cry!
 
im trying to stay away from heroin again. today's day 1 :( i wish i had some comfort meds or benzos on hand to help with the fucked up feelings i am getting :(
 
man don't i fucking know it 11 yrs opiate addiction & the only thing i have to gain is nothing. i've been clean for 16 months now and i lost everything between then and when i really cleaned up my act. my wife left me cause of my shit, only woman i ever loved. gave me 2 kids and i was high half the time they were growing up. i knew i lost her but somehow i still thought i had them, always asking me why i would go missing for days etc. when i was really bad she didn't let me see them and i missed almost 11 months of my most precious gifts until i decided i wasn't living. it wasn't me it was the opiates, the pills, the baggies and the bars that were living. its hard man fucking sucks but if i can do it even at 33 u can do it. will power you need to want it. keep hydrated keep busy. praying for u man
 
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How are you doing bdom? I hope you are well and things are getting easier and easier to manage. I tapered off the xanax but I keep some around just in case.
 
Your benzo use is low dose and low duration---START TAPERING THE BENZOS NOW TO AVOID A HIGH DOSE DEPENDENCY. Suboxone wd is a hellish nightmare...I remember cold turkeying a 6 month habit of 2-4mgs of suboxone, and I didn't sleep for 6 months
 
bdomihizayka said:
It's honestly not terrible, just annoying- annoying would be a better word to describe subutex withdrawal.... hot cold, gooseflesh, sleep issues.... but I have my emotions back! And I fucking LOVEEE that!! Feels so good to cry!
Click to expand...

This was very much how I experienced my w/d from buprenorphine. I really wasn't bad at all, especially compared to acute withdrawal from a full agonist. But it took a long time to get over the very generalized malaise that, even now, I have a hard time describing. Annoying is a good word, like an itch you can't scratch. Another thing is that I didn't wake up one day and it was finally over, which is a little more like w/d from a short acting agonist. The w/d from bupe slowly faded into the background. Boredom and craving during bupe w/d was much more of a struggle for me than any of the classic opioid w/d physical symptoms.

Temazepam made a big difference during my bupe w/d too. I only used it for a couple weeks though, and it never got me high. Just put me to nappy nap time.

Sending you good warm vibes bdom!
 
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