sobriety.. just a word!

funny.. cuz I would say I am 100% sober, living great now, moving on to the next.. but it's funny to think what I actually do and see how others who never entered "our world" would look at it. just think of all the others we have met, been friends with, etc, who have used.. does the "normal" person have that? i say im sober but yet still smoke weed here and there and also take suboxone... would the "normal" find that sober? makes me wonder. but you know what? do i care what the "normal" person think? no. just don't. i know what i think, tho.. i was a REAL BAD ADDICT for years, and opiates controlled my life. and to be sober, even if it's only coming up on 3 months, feels fucking great! its still early.. i am fully aware, but i just feel GREAT. NO URGE, NO NOTHING.. the thought of it all makes me sick. thinking about what I once did/done, makes me sick.

just something I was thinking about as I sat tonight at a bar.. NOT DRINKING.. watching all the other younger people, thinking what they are going thorough, what they have/havent been through yet, and just all the whacky road ahead that someone may go down w/o EVER even thinking about it. who the hell think they'd be a DOPE FIEND growing up!?!? not me, man. NEVER thought that.

 

Great post man. I feel the same way. I have been devoting all my energy over the past 2 years to getting "clean" as they say. I told my mom the other day I'm not so worried about being clean as being functional. When I was using drugs the problem wasn't the drugs the problem was I wasn't functioning in society. You know working, going to school, paying bills that kind of shit. If I could have been a functional opiate addict I might would have stayed that way for life.

I still drink and smoke weed so I guess I'm not "clean and sober." Who the fuck cares? I'm happy with myself and I'm constantly moving forward in life now. I'm functional. Anyone who cares can suck a bag of dicks.

 

Awesome post. I`m a heroin addict and I take gabapentin and smoke buds and spice and drink occasionally but also consider myself sober. My life is turned around 180 degrees and if someone wants to judge me for that then that`s their problem. But my parents found out about my drinking/smoking and got really worried but also see that I have a full time job now and I don`t blow my money anymore and act like a normal person now. I think the pressure to be 100% clean and sober sometimes belittles the struggles of people like us who have made major changes in our life but still like to have a smoke or a drink now and again. Or people on maintenance. That`s a big reason I don`t go to AA anymore, you take a bong hit and now you have to tell the group you`re a newcomer and relapsed and all this shit, give up your "clean time" like you never were sober in the first place. I think that is actually incentive to dive back into your addiction and say idgaf istead of seeing it as it is. A simple bong rip. By the way good job on making the progress that you have! I hope you keep it up.