anyone else depressed and sober ? i always get sober and evryone in AA says that if i stay clean the rest of my problems will work out but im too depressed to get a job or take care of my health so what do i do ? im on meds , i see a shrink and it doesnt help . oh yea im only 9 days sober and im 30 years old been in and out of AA jail rehab for 10 years
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sobriety and depression whats the answer , aa ???
- Thread starter jake99
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RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
If AA/NA isn't working for you, there are alternatives.
Have you heart of SMART Recovery or Celebrate Recovery? SMART Recovery is cognitive-behavioural therapy based and feels more like a college classroom setting than the feel-good bonding experience promoted by AA/NA. Celebrate Recovery is faith-based, but not "in your face" or anything.
Perhaps see if your area has either of these alternatives and, if so, give them a try.
Have you heart of SMART Recovery or Celebrate Recovery? SMART Recovery is cognitive-behavioural therapy based and feels more like a college classroom setting than the feel-good bonding experience promoted by AA/NA. Celebrate Recovery is faith-based, but not "in your face" or anything.
Perhaps see if your area has either of these alternatives and, if so, give them a try.
9 days isnt long at all man...i hate to be the bearer of bad news but when i kicked methadone i was depressed for months it seemed..i would get small waves of happiness but right back to depression, it seemed to last forever so u need to give it more time but those first few weeks, month everything seems so bleak..give it more time and exercise if possible..
Not to be negative but I disagree with this. Staying sober isn't the solution in itself, but it's certainly the right path to recovery. Find something your passionate about and be consumed by it. How much do you want to fix this?
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Missykins
Bluelighter
Not to be negative but I disagree with this. Staying sober isn't the solution in itself, but it's certainly the right path to recovery. Find something your passionate and be consumed by it. How much do you want to fix this?
Both of these folks are right.
Sobriety sucks ...or at least that's how it feels. Kicking alcohol is VERY difficult and the scary thing is that it seems no one is on your side. It' s legal and everyone is doing in front of your face. Try alternatives. Respond to each day and figure out how one day will fix it for you. be happy one day.
So sorry but once again how much do you want this?
So sorry but once again how much do you want this?
besides, sobriety in itself simply eliminates the problems associated with the drug use, spending money or lying etc etc..but it opens your eyes wide open to the problems you have been covering up with the drugs..not only that but you have to deal with the problems the drugs got you into, losing friends, money and most of all, TIME..its an absolute brutal wake-up call...plus, you have anhedonia/anxiety that rears its ugly head when you get clean as well..
Right, but you can't generally deal with the underlying problems when you're addicted; or at least not very effectively. Sobriety is the first step in tackling these deeper issues, and in some cases it's even the easiest. That said, nothing worth doing is easy, and everything worth doing is worth doing well. This process can take years. Be patient, and forgiving with yourself.
AfterGlow
Bluelighter
You're a young man and the book of life has many chapters. The transition from being an active alcoholic to a sober sane person is difficult. But it's worthwhile. Stick with it.
Vaya
Bluelight Crew
I'm 71 days back into recovery after a three-year dark and twisted relapse after having accumulated 2.5 years of sobriety before that. And so, on that level at least, I can really respect and relate to the frustration you must be feeling now that you are sober, but not happy.
My experience has shown me that with dedication, one will discover what others have so wisely stated in this thread. That is, that drugs are symptoms of a larger system of dysfunction that must be addressed before loving oneself becomes possible. And, of course, being lucid and drug-free is an absolute necessity in order to effectively address these issues. In 12-step recovery programs, you will often hear references to "character defects." These are the true underlying causes of our dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives. I destroyed myself for many years by using drugs as an easy, escapist coping mechanism that, at the time, alleviated a lot of painful opinions I'd held of myself - without even realizing that they were problems.
Lots of things caused me to turn to substance abuse - fear, pride, jealousy, resentments against others and myself, insecurity, anger. Coming to terms with these deficits and addressing them directly has completely changed the very nature of my existence in this world. I'm freshly into dealing with these issues properly, and it takes time. I developed these harmful personality traits over man years, and 71 days is a woefully insufficient period of time to expect myself to have corrected them. There are alternatives to 12-step programs, but my experience has shown me that nothing else on this Earth can replace the feeling of being truly understood by those who have gone through similar or worse struggles, put in the footwork, and now lead more fulfilling lives than the vast majority of non-addicts I've ever met!
My suggestion is that you give yourself time. Recovery is an on-going and extremely difficult experience that few who haven't experienced that journey are capable of understanding. And this makes it extremely easy to drag yourself through the mud. Be aware that you may have some pervasive, underlying issues to deal with and that it will likely be a long trek. But give yourself credit for undertaking what most people find themselves unable to! I make it a point before bed each night to look myself in the mirror and reassure myself that I deserve to be sober; that I deserve to be happy! It's not as cheesy as it sounds - and unlike most self-help processes out there, I have discovered that this one actually works. Keep active and be as honest as you can with yourself and with others.
Most importantly, you're not at all alone. Never forget that. It is clear to me that you really want this. And that you, like myself, deserve it.
~ vaya
My experience has shown me that with dedication, one will discover what others have so wisely stated in this thread. That is, that drugs are symptoms of a larger system of dysfunction that must be addressed before loving oneself becomes possible. And, of course, being lucid and drug-free is an absolute necessity in order to effectively address these issues. In 12-step recovery programs, you will often hear references to "character defects." These are the true underlying causes of our dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives. I destroyed myself for many years by using drugs as an easy, escapist coping mechanism that, at the time, alleviated a lot of painful opinions I'd held of myself - without even realizing that they were problems.
Lots of things caused me to turn to substance abuse - fear, pride, jealousy, resentments against others and myself, insecurity, anger. Coming to terms with these deficits and addressing them directly has completely changed the very nature of my existence in this world. I'm freshly into dealing with these issues properly, and it takes time. I developed these harmful personality traits over man years, and 71 days is a woefully insufficient period of time to expect myself to have corrected them. There are alternatives to 12-step programs, but my experience has shown me that nothing else on this Earth can replace the feeling of being truly understood by those who have gone through similar or worse struggles, put in the footwork, and now lead more fulfilling lives than the vast majority of non-addicts I've ever met!
My suggestion is that you give yourself time. Recovery is an on-going and extremely difficult experience that few who haven't experienced that journey are capable of understanding. And this makes it extremely easy to drag yourself through the mud. Be aware that you may have some pervasive, underlying issues to deal with and that it will likely be a long trek. But give yourself credit for undertaking what most people find themselves unable to! I make it a point before bed each night to look myself in the mirror and reassure myself that I deserve to be sober; that I deserve to be happy! It's not as cheesy as it sounds - and unlike most self-help processes out there, I have discovered that this one actually works. Keep active and be as honest as you can with yourself and with others.
Most importantly, you're not at all alone. Never forget that. It is clear to me that you really want this. And that you, like myself, deserve it.
~ vaya
I have good and bad days and have been sober for an insane amount of time besides this past month.
Your going to have shitty days when you first get sober. Eventually though you'll start having a few days where you actually feel human and good without drugs. You just really need to give it sometime. Meetings can only get you so far.
Your going to be starting a whole new life where you need to be responsible, and actually get shit done. Basically you need to start working a job or doing something that is going to take up your time. You need to stay busy and occupied and keep your mind off drugs. Slowly things will start to improve and you'll start getting more good days then bad.
It's sort of like being born again, you gotta re learn how to do basic things. I cant explain it exactly. You just need to go out there and give life a shot!
I remember you reading about trying to do this like 2 years ago or something and it seemed like you were confused. Like you want to be clean from opiates, but when you get clean from them you dont know what to do then end up relapsing probably out of frustration.
Just take it day by day and know that your going to have some shitty days. You might also want to look into moving to a different area or at least changing something around..
Get a reason to stay off opiates.
Your going to have shitty days when you first get sober. Eventually though you'll start having a few days where you actually feel human and good without drugs. You just really need to give it sometime. Meetings can only get you so far.
Your going to be starting a whole new life where you need to be responsible, and actually get shit done. Basically you need to start working a job or doing something that is going to take up your time. You need to stay busy and occupied and keep your mind off drugs. Slowly things will start to improve and you'll start getting more good days then bad.
It's sort of like being born again, you gotta re learn how to do basic things. I cant explain it exactly. You just need to go out there and give life a shot!
I remember you reading about trying to do this like 2 years ago or something and it seemed like you were confused. Like you want to be clean from opiates, but when you get clean from them you dont know what to do then end up relapsing probably out of frustration.
Just take it day by day and know that your going to have some shitty days. You might also want to look into moving to a different area or at least changing something around..
Get a reason to stay off opiates.
cj
Bluelight Crew
Hey Jake,
I dont have much to say advice wise as I am really horrible at staying sober. But I think its cool that you are still trying to beat your demons I personally would have given up. I know that if you fight hard enough you will get your sobriety and be able to live the life that you want.
I dont have much to say advice wise as I am really horrible at staying sober. But I think its cool that you are still trying to beat your demons I personally would have given up. I know that if you fight hard enough you will get your sobriety and be able to live the life that you want.
today is like day 12 i think . im in this program which is real expensive and they give you all your meds every day . (outpatient) i wanna get out of it but im on suboxone and would have to get it from another dr. and there are barely any in the area im lilving in. my last relapse i totaled a 08 car and my family has cut me off . i have a little money in bank to live on but no job . i go to AA every day but i get so sick of it and the same stuff over and over I dont believe in a higher power and my depression is making it hard for me to do much
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Jake, I would really encourage you to give it some time. You don't have to buy into everything about 12-step to get some very powerful help out of it. Especially the higher power part. I had a hard time with that myself in Nar-anon but then I just looked at the "higher power" as my "higher self"--the one that knew what I needed to do and could get me there. Is there anyone in the group that you feel any affinity for? That can help, too; reaching out to one particular person and forming a bond with them.
You are doing so well and it is early. I think that your depression is the main pitfall for you right now. Are you being treated for that? Depression saps motivation for everything. Hang in there, Jake. It can and does get better.
You are doing so well and it is early. I think that your depression is the main pitfall for you right now. Are you being treated for that? Depression saps motivation for everything. Hang in there, Jake. It can and does get better.
cj
Bluelight Crew
Jake your deppression is clouding your judgment man. Dude Ive been reading your posts for a couple years now Ive seen this cycle at least 3 times with you. I dont mean to act like I know you or anything about you but from the sounds of it your close to the edge of losing the only thing you have left that is your life. Now im not a stepper I have never been into that shit but you gotta make something work man it dont matter what it is methadone sub god whatever man. Just from looking at this thread you have chased away almost all of the regular tds posters who used to post all in your threads I can only guess the same is true in your real life. Desperate times call for desperate measures bro do something. I dont wanna be posting in your thread over in the shrine. feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to.
rocknroll702
Bluelighter
it shocks me that people can be so caring on a site that would have such a negative stereotype in the publics eye 
makes me feel all warm inside to see the love
makes me feel all warm inside to see the love