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Sober from Heroin. On suboxone. Now what?

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bluerobot

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2018
Messages
74
Hey all,
So I recently got sober, well I'm on Suboxone now actually and I find myself bored all the time. I don't know what to do with myself. At times I find myself standing or sitting in one spot and staring into nothingness for like 20 minutes just thinking to myself until I realize what I'm doing. I also feel a lot more emotional for some reason. Like the littlest thing could make me laugh or cry uncontrollably. Probably because I'm not sedated on Heroin anymore although I know from experience Suboxone blocks a lot of my emotions too. I know this because I went through the same thing a few years ago and ended up tapering off Suboxone and went through something similar to what I'm going through now where I was just hit with a flood of emotions that is until I relapsed onto heroin again and here we are. Anyways, I like being able to feel again. It's nice, everything seems more beautiful and meaningful. Of course being able to feel means being able to feel the sadness and depression and anxiety parts of everything but I'm okay with that. Its only been about a week since I switched to Suboxone and I'm having some side effects, mostly sweating a lot and getting chills which are definitely connected. I also get cold very easily. If anyone has any advise on what I can do about that, it would be much appreciated. Otherwise I'm sure it will fix itself over time once I stablize and get my dose right. What I'm more concerned about is the constant boredom I feel now. My days always consisted of focusing on my habit and everything that it entailed. Now that I don't have to do that anymore, I'm just bored. I don't know what to do. Did anyone else feel this way? If so what did you do to fill up your days? And what are some suggestions on what I can do to not be so bored all the time. Keep in mind that I work on weekdays and I'm not allowed to go out much on my own because i live with my parents and they don't trust me much and rightfully so/:
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, bluerobot.
 
hi - im going to be getting subox on moday at 2 pm , i relapsed too after 13 months clean, stupid i know - ive never been on subox can you tell me what the taper off is like? how do i know what dose is right for me - i was not using that much, maybe 1/4 gram tops a day of Black Tar did you kick hard to end the subox? what did work for you med wise?
thanks and i have some suggestions for you to take your mind off of the boredom -- yoga, hiking, writing, learn to play guitar or bass or synths -- watch movies but mix it up, like watch every movie your fav actor has made, from the start of their career --
hope that sounds good to you and please help with your experience
stay strong!
 
apricotcoldshot said:
hi - im going to be getting subox on moday at 2 pm , i relapsed too after 13 months clean, stupid i know - ive never been on subox can you tell me what the taper off is like? how do i know what dose is right for me - i was not using that much, maybe 1/4 gram tops a day of Black Tar did you kick hard to end the subox? what did work for you med wise?
thanks and i have some suggestions for you to take your mind off of the boredom -- yoga, hiking, writing, learn to play guitar or bass or synths -- watch movies but mix it up, like watch every movie your fav actor has made, from the start of their career --
hope that sounds good to you and please help with your experience
stay strong!
Click to expand...

hey cold shot thanks for the suggestions.
Well first of all since your habit was relatively low, it should be really easy for you to get onto subs. So that's good. I had a really heavy habit this time around and induction alone took me a few days which sucked. But if I were you I wouldn't worry about tapering until being on suboxone for at least a few months. I would say at least 6 months. You have to get used to having normal habits again. However it would be fine to taper during those 6 months. If I were you I would start off with 8mg a day for the first few days and maybe after a week or so I'd cut that down to 4mg a day. Whether you like to do 4 mg once a day or 2 mg twice a day is up to you. I like to dose every 12 hours. Try to take your doses at the same time every day. I'd stay at 4mg a day for maybe 2 months but if you're comfortable you can try cutting that in half and doing 2 mg daily. But whatever you do, if you're not comfortable just take more. Like if you're at 4mg and you try to go down to 2 mg and find it uncomfortable, try taking 3 mg instead and stick with that for a while. When you are truly ready to taper off and quit, you're gonna want to go as slow as possible. Let's say you've been on Suboxone for 6-8months and you're on 2mg daily for about a month. What you want to do is try taking 1.75 mg daily for a week. Then next week take 1.5mg. next week 1.25mg. and so on. Once you're down to a point where you can no longer make the Suboxone any smaller, this is the hardest part. Let's say you dose twice a day, instead of twice try taking it once a day but if you're uncomfortable then that's okay just take your second dose. But keep trying that until you're comfortable taking it just once daily. After doing that for a week or so try to skip a day and take a dose every other day. And do that for a week or so. Then try every 2 days for a week or so and so on. Eventually you will start forgetting to dose at all and not notice and you'll be clean. That's how it happened for me. I didn't have to take any extra meds. And being off subs and opiates feels amazing. After it's all mental. No matter what do not relapse. Suboxone withdrawal is less intense but a lot longer than regular opiate withdrawal but if you taper right, you won't feel much of anything in my experience. Also a tip for when you taper to a point where there sub can't be cut down any smaller is to make sure when you put it under your tongue to put it directly on a vein under the tongue. I recommend using tweezers. I hope this helps.
Bluerobot.
 
The hardest part for me was the end. I was on the tiniest dose of subs for over a year. I wasn't willing to take that last step for quite some time. It was just easier to take my tiny dose cause at that point it becomes incredibly cheap since I was taking so little. looking back now I probably shouldn't have quit when I did because look where it got me. If you're going to take that last step you have to be ready and remember that being on heroin was hell and you don't want to ever go back to it. not even to do it "one last time" because that WILL turn into everyday. Happened to me. I won't make that mistake again. But my point is to just make sure you're ready. And don't push yourself too hard. Do only what you can handle. And talk to your doctor. They don't always know everything. In fact I'm a believer in that the people who know the most about subs are the people who take them. But it does feel better to hear something from a doctor and have them tell you whatever you're doing is fine. But chances are your doctor is going to want to put you on a high dose for extended periods of time.
 
I'm gonna send this to sober living for you.

Exercise is an excellent distraction, and a good thing to get into, even if it's just going for a run/walk, it's a good distraction and stress reliever, and who knows you may end up enjoying it. Obviously avoiding any areas that may trigger you.
 
bptubbs said:
I'm gonna send this to sober living for you.
Exercise is an excellent distraction, and a good thing to get into, even if it's just going for a run/walk, it's a good distraction and stress reliever, and who knows you may end up enjoying it. Obviously avoiding any areas that may trigger you.
Click to expand...

Thanks bptubbs,
I'll try to at least go for a walk today. But I still feel very weak most days so I'll probably just take it easy. A walk seems easy enough though. Plus it is a beautiful day and most of the time the sun feels good on my skin.
 
I know exercise helped me when I jumped off morphine a few years ago, and it's a good way to build your strength back up.
 
i will - i sent you a PM because i got lost somehow on this switch to sober living - i tried to reply but then it told me to refresh and sent me on a different page
 
bluerobot said:
The hardest part for me was the end. I was on the tiniest dose of subs for over a year. I wasn't willing to take that last step for quite some time. It was just easier to take my tiny dose cause at that point it becomes incredibly cheap since I was taking so little. looking back now I probably shouldn't have quit when I did because look where it got me. If you're going to take that last step you have to be ready and remember that being on heroin was hell and you don't want to ever go back to it. not even to do it "one last time" because that WILL turn into everyday. Happened to me. I won't make that mistake again. But my point is to just make sure you're ready. And don't push yourself too hard. Do only what you can handle. And talk to your doctor. They don't always know everything. In fact I'm a believer in that the people who know the most about subs are the people who take them. But it does feel better to hear something from a doctor and have them tell you whatever you're doing is fine. But chances are your doctor is going to want to put you on a high dose for extended periods of time.
Click to expand...

do you mean to make sure im ready to be sober 100%? i would like that very much, i am ready to stop the misery-go-round of scoring and finding money and driving around with freaks in my car trying to score - ontop of not being able to eat - i lost 25 lbs in the last month because i had no appatite at all, i would not eat , it didnt even occur to me - all i wanted to do was more dope- i think thats what woke me up sooner than later i got sucked up very fast - and then the mental aspect kept me stunned like a deer in the headlights - its such a mental conditioning, this last run ive felt like a robot, going through the motions because i remember the old days getting high playing in a band and having fun - when now my reality is im using to block out my suffering and pain of a life not lived to my potential coupled with some serious fucked up twists of fate - but that another story alltogether

as for tomoroow -- i would of tried to get clonidine and kick that way but the suboxone it the only detox i can find on medi-cal - i couldnt find any program that would give me detox meds , only this new MAT -MedicationAssistedTreatment program which is what i start tomorrow - i was told to come in for induction in mild withdrawls so no fix for me tomorrow morning - do you think i will get sick after i take my first dose - i think they keep me there for a few hours to make sure the dose is correct- will i feel any sense of being on opiates whatsoever? i guess i will find out - im sorry to bombard you with questions but i really am in mystery - that time 12 years ago i dont really remember very well i think i was a little sick but they gave me valium as it was residential in the hosptial - did you get sub by yourself or did you go to a program for detox , i know the setting can real
ly effect your detox outcome - this program im on seems pretty legit and controlled by the doctor --

hope your day is going ok -- mine is pretty lame - knowing im changing everything tomorrow has got me anxious
 
I can’t seem to make the switch comfortably because I refuse to take the amount of subs I need to.
My own dumb fault.
Subs don’t stop cravings for me. No matter how much I use.
i can stay off sick with very little.
I am scared to death of subs. I cold turkied 1 mg years ago and it was worse than the h withdrawals.
I need to be on a high sub dose to keep me straight but my brain is in limbo. Idk what to do. I wish I could go to sleep and everything be a dream
 
apricotcoldshot said:
do you mean to make sure im ready to be sober 100%? i would like that very much, i am ready to stop the misery-go-round of scoring and finding money and driving around with freaks in my car trying to score - ontop of not being able to eat - i lost 25 lbs in the last month because i had no appatite at all, i would not eat , it didnt even occur to me - all i wanted to do was more dope- i think thats what woke me up sooner than later i got sucked up very fast - and then the mental aspect kept me stunned like a deer in the headlights - its such a mental conditioning, this last run ive felt like a robot, going through the motions because i remember the old days getting high playing in a band and having fun - when now my reality is im using to block out my suffering and pain of a life not lived to my potential coupled with some serious fucked up twists of fate - but that another story alltogether

as for tomoroow -- i would of tried to get clonidine and kick that way but the suboxone it the only detox i can find on medi-cal - i couldnt find any program that would give me detox meds , only this new MAT -MedicationAssistedTreatment program which is what i start tomorrow - i was told to come in for induction in mild withdrawls so no fix for me tomorrow morning - do you think i will get sick after i take my first dose - i think they keep me there for a few hours to make sure the dose is correct- will i feel any sense of being on opiates whatsoever? i guess i will find out - im sorry to bombard you with questions but i really am in mystery - that time 12 years ago i dont really remember very well i think i was a little sick but they gave me valium as it was residential in the hosptial - did you get sub by yourself or did you go to a program for detox , i know the setting can real
ly effect your detox outcome - this program im on seems pretty legit and controlled by the doctor --

hope your day is going ok -- mine is pretty lame - knowing im changing everything tomorrow has got me anxious
Click to expand...

Ya man the cycle can be ruthless. I know you may think you're ready to be 100% sober but I would still give it some time on subs and then taper and quit that way. Make sure to listen to your doctor and check with him or her before you do anything. It sounds like your in a good enough program. It's good that you get to induct in front of a doctor. I don't think you'll get sick(pwd) but theres really no way to know. I had to do it on my own. I have a sub doctor that prescribes me the stuff. I also take clonodine and baclofen(muscle relaxer) try asking your doctor if he or she can prescribe that on top of the subs. It helps. Again if you're having trouble inducting let me know. I think I can help with that. Also I replied to your PM so check that out. Sorry if I'm being short with you right now, I'm a bit busy today but I still wanted to get a reply out to you tonight before your big day tomorrow. Just stay strong buddy. I know you can do it. Good luck at the doctor's tomorrow and let me know how everything goes. Feel free to ask any questions. I'm not sure if I answered everything you wanted to know or not. Looking forward to seeing how things go for you tomorrow. Bluerobot.
 
Beenbetter said:
I can’t seem to make the switch comfortably because I refuse to take the amount of subs I need to.
My own dumb fault.
Subs don’t stop cravings for me. No matter how much I use.
i can stay off sick with very little.
I am scared to death of subs. I cold turkied 1 mg years ago and it was worse than the h withdrawals.
I need to be on a high sub dose to keep me straight but my brain is in limbo. Idk what to do. I wish I could go to sleep and everything be a dream
Click to expand...

IMO 1MG is still too high to CT off subs you need to go lower than that. Tell me a little bit about how you tried to switch to subs cause I thought subs wouldn't work for me anymore at first too but I was wrong. I can tell you how to make the switch more comfortably to subs if it's not working out for you and I can give you a good plan to taper off subs as painlessly as possible once you're ready for that. I would highly recommend getting on subs tho. It's a lot better than the alternative. It's true sub wd is a lot longer but it's also way less intense than H or other opiate wd. There's no reason to be scared of it. If you taper right it's relatively painless and easy. Give me a little more info on what opiate and how much your taking and I'll try to help you make the switch. Do you have access to subs? What type of opiate are you taking and do you still have access to that? When you try taking the sub how much do you take? And how do you feel when you do? Do you get more sick? Or does it feel like it's not working? Alot of it could be mental too. Are you truly ready to stop using H because you'll most likely fail if you don't truly want it. If you need a high dose, I would take the high dose and gradually taper to a lower dose. And then I can tell you how to do the final taper.
 
That sucks man. I know how that is.. I pm'd you some detail. You should try what I said. It's a bit unorthodox but it worked for me and it's doable as far as comfortability goes.
 
apricotcoldshot said:
n

not well, im totally bummed out - i pm'ed you the details - im just chilling now trying to recover and relax
and come up with a new plan
Click to expand...

Sry I accidentally sent a message and now it won't let me resend one for like 180minutes/hours or something. It's bs. Hopefully this reply finds you well.

I think even tho you just smoked more H that you should still take more sub. It shouldn't do anything thing to you at all because youre not sick and because you have H freshly in your system but at least you'll be putting more sub in your system. Basically any recptors in your brain that don't have H on them will be filled with sub so next time you take sub it'll be easier. And if it still doesn't work next time you can always take more H to feel better. but once you feel better from the H I would immediately take more sub too to fill up the remaining receptors. Once you do that for like 3-4 days and youre continually taking subs eventually there will be more subs on your receptors than H. On like the 3rd day I would take some H wait like 17 or so hours (longer the better) and then take sub and wait an hour and see if it works. If not try the same thing the next day. It will work eventually as long as you keep taking subs throughout the process.
 
yeh man - this has turned out way harder then i thought - i havent taken any sub today and used half- what i would normally do
mainly im freaked out because this isnt working the way i have read its supposed to -
if i take a 2 mg strip - 4mg cut in two = 2mg - will i go into PWS precipitated WD sick, ? or should i ride it out and tomorrow morning take 1 mg and then wait an hour , then 1 mg, etc -- ?
why did i start puking after my induction - if you take a strip and then 3 hrs later you start puking shouldnt taking more sub make you feel better? was it that i hadnt eaten well for so long that the acid in my stomach had built up and make me sick in addition to being in WD's? its hard for me to think with this stuff it doesnt react logically
 
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