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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

So my psychiatrist is giving me a choice between valium, klonopin, and xanax...

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Oct 21, 2010
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First, let me say I don't have anxiety. However, I signed a very important document saying I wouldn't take the drugs that I do enjoy (marijuana & mdma), and if I break this contract, then it would basically fuck me over for the rest of my life. I won't elaborate further. Please don't speculate.

Recently, my brother took his own life, and I'm having a hard time coping with this loss while sober. I can't drink. So I have to abuse my free medical care to get out of my slump. My psychiatrist wants to put me on SSRI's, but I don't want to feel "normal," I thrive on the pain, I just want to get high. We tried Ambien first to help with my "insomnia," but that shit's a joke. Now they have my prescribed Temazapam for my "insomnia," which works quite well, however I don't like to take enough of those to achieve a high because I actually do use them to help me go to sleep early. Sleep is my escape. All I do is work and sleep, and have zero interest in doing anything else, even mundane shit like doing laundry or playing video games. So I sleep.

After speaking with my psychiatrist, she gave me the choice between klonopin, xanax, and valium. Last night I ate a few k-pins, didn't really feel anything, and next thing I know I wake up on top of my bed sleeping on all my clean laundry fully dressed with my alarm going off. I always wake up before my alarm clock. Not sure if I'm a fan of klonopins yet, but I'm gonna give it another go. She gave me 1mg scrips with the option of taking up to 3mg a day. I have no idea how many I took last night.

I have taken Xanax before. Xanax sucks, as I'm sure you all know. You wont feel anything until you eat 8mg of it and drink a 4loko, and by that point you are beyond fucked up and it's time to go to bed. But I would rather have that than nothing.

Valium, I have no experience of. That's the one I think I wanna try next. But I don't know how high it will get me, and in what dosage. Can anyone offer me some insight?

I used the search function, but after finding so many irrelevant/contradicting answers, I'm still left clueless. I apologize if I'm doing it wrong.
 
I wouldn't recommend abusing the benzos, If you're prone to panic attacks I'd go for the xanax, if you want to just take something that keeps you mellow and more relaxed most of the time I'd go for the klonopin or valium depending on what you respond to best.

I really think benzos aren't great for escaping situations unless you just want to sleep through everything. It takes awhile to get used to all these drugs, 8mgs of xanax at a time is way too much for someone without a tolerance or dependance, the last thing you want is a benzo habit at this point in time.

I know this is a harm reduction forum, but if you want to get high I'd choose another class of drugs, but everyone responds differently to things. I know this a difficult situation and I actually think a low dose of a benzo would be your best bet, I know from personal experience that you can't escape grieving, you may postpone it for years but it'll come there's no way around it.

If you can keep a somewhat clear head it'll probably help in the long run but I've never dealt with loss well. I hope you find something that works for you.
 
i would recommend the valium if anything. I think you would get the most out of it.

10mgs of valium equals about .5 mgs of xanax. So its takes about 40 mg to equal one bar. but 30 or 40 mgs will set you straight. I find valium to be one of the more euphoric of the benzos as well.
 
definitely not the xanax, that stuff just seems cruel; a cocaine pill if you ask me, more addictive then helpful...

i would go with klonopin, and save valium for when you begin to tapper.
with that said, i take klonopin, i want off it but will wait another year...
switching over to valium is something i would do, but ive been on klonopin over five years now.
:\
people seem to get comfortable at around 1.5mg's with klonopin, but its important to titrate some every few months, to help keep from hovering in a rebound w/d state after so long.


these are uniquely very serious drugs,,, and a major responsibility and commitment, dont even play with alcohol(cleche but dead real). the xanax is like an awful joke, redundant, it breeds dependence, addiction, and panic far worse most any moderate to extreme anxiety disorders.
your bode will thank you, for having spared it the guaranteed daily rebounds.

it should really only be used for 'crisis' moments, or a few times a month at most.
the valium or klonopin will have the same affect, but youll just be routinely taking a pill 2 or 3x a day, not wondering when it will be time again, and how you will know when it is.!
:X


again, the valium sounds more enticing, but having that to ween from the klonopin is incredibly, um, handy..?
they will both do their jobs, you would feel the same relief off either at the end of the day, but at the end of your medication period, 5 months, or 15 years, the valium will be something amazingly, indescribably helpful.


good luck < Be Wise

this is yours, and your loved ones lives also.
<3


Edit:
holy fuck, you want this to try and to abuse?!? ~lol~
smoke some fuckin weed man, this shit will slowly kill you, torture you, and leave you moronic all the while... but there is no way this will work, at least as far as trying to slide past your doctor with it, boy you have no idea what you think youre doing, this stuff will have you by the balls, or honestly worse your CNS and neurons.
actually THIS SkinnyPuppy video shows the bio-feed back in real time of a guy getting a dose of amphetamine @1:40, then near 3 minutes, the bio-feed-back of 'people' going through W/D from barbs and benzos, this connectivity of the neurons also happens with alcohol, this occurs to different extents, has happened to me being safe(mistakes happen :\ ) and is unavoidable at any long term dose, or larger doses in shorter periods of time.
it is unavoidable because your brain becomes "hardwired" eventually, and only easing off over looong periods of time, on benzos like valium is the only safe way,
i was mortified after gradually dropping down from 6mg to .25~.3mg a day then cold turkey after 5 years and 2 fucking years of tapering...

when my tolerance was at .25mg klonopin stable, it still felt as if i would need at least 4-6 months with valium, and i still feel naive to its power honestly... even after severe alcohol and 6-10mg coldturky in jail for two days, horror, stunning restraint, the weekend several weeks ago where i tried coming off ~.25 &&& Oxy, still has me in a state of shock, very diturbing, shook me to the core, i will never stop getting lost in thought at those moments that made up those 3-4 days...
god man, you dont want to try and play this.
smoke, if you cant now, you will be able to later for sure, if you get on these now,,, what is for sure trying to control&abuse these drugs is a nightmare that im struggling to explain still, atm...



idk, be careful, give YOU a chance at life first...
 
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IMO benzos should be approached with caution. I know it's so ubiquitous these days so it's easy to think they're no big deal, but benzo withdrawals are scary as shit (not personal experience, but from what I've seen around me) and this is coming from a heroin addict who's done cold turkey a number of times.

With that said, my benzo-experienced friend told me that his preference (or the strength of the med that he feels) goes Ativan > Xanax > Klonopin > Valium.
 
I'd say the kpins. For me they are as strong as xanax and last far longer. But everyone you ask is gonna give you a different answer and it won't help a bit.
 
Yes, I want to abuse the benzos. If I could smoke weed, I would, but I cant. If I could drink, I would, but I can't. All I can do is get prescriptions from a licensed psychiatrist. And the only thing they prescribe that I know of are benzos. So I'm taking what I'm getting.

The xanax and klonopin don't get me high. Will the valium? What about mixing them? She mentioned that I could take Klonopin as a daily thing and then get Xanax for immediate emergencies, so I could get both. I assume the same would apply with valium.

Will the valium get me high? I know everyone has different preferences, but from what I understand, Valium is also a muscle relaxant, so it seems to me like Valium will get me feeling the best. I know there is no euphoria with benzos, but at least feeling relaxed from Valium would be preferable to being utterly sober on K-pins, only to all of a sudden pass out and not remember the day.

One thing I do like about Kpins is they lower my inhibitions. Asked this hot chick I used to go to school with out on a date and she said yes. But I live two states away so it'll be a couple of months until I get to go out with her. Still need something to get by.

Are there any other alternatives that I could try to get that would get me higher? My psychiatrist really wants me on SSRI's but I don't want those, because they just make you feel normal, and I want to feel beyond normal.
 
Kpins convert anxiety into fun for me. The proportion of fear is equal to the proportion of fun it turns into. Xanax puts me to sleep. Have not tried Valium.

How about a psychedelic? They are not a cure all, but will probably be better in the long run.
 
i posted last night and recommended valium.
I would like to warn you, like many other here, this is a slippery slope.

I have a few other recommendations. A few thinks i use, that work and are legal/

kratom is very good, its is calming, gives a sense of well being almost like an opiate. You coulde try to perhaps trade off between the benzos and this.

kava kava is supposed to be great for stress and panic disorders to.

its just somthing to look into, i have tried both of them with success and have expereince with addiction and drugs.
 
I've tried Kratom, have not tried Kava Kava, and while both may be legal for you... they are not for me. Don't ask why. But if I have anything that's not doctor prescribed, I will go to jail.

Right now, my plan is to try the Kpins for a couple of weeks, then ask to switch to Valium, and make my own judgement call. Meanwhile, I will ask for Xanaxx as a supplement.

My psychologist (not my psychiatrist) also mentioned I could ask about Trazodone and Ceroquel. I've had Ceroquel once, which I think will help me on the weekends where the Temazapam doesn't. The Temazapam helps me sleep fine during the work week, but they won't help me sleep all day on the weekends, so I want to try Ceroquel so I can just sleep through the weekend.

I equate wakefulness with pain. If I can't get high to ease the pain while awake, then I need to be asleep.
 
Seroquel's an antipsychotic. In lower doses it acts as an antihistamine and has a sedative effect but it doesn't have the recreational potential of benzos. If you're taking it daily, the daytime sedative effect wears off after a while so you might want to take that into account.

Another thing you might want to consider is that Seroquel often produces extremely vivid and often disturbing dreams. If you're using sleep as a way to escape reality at the moment, any of the drugs known for producing that effect might be a bad choice.

Old school antipsychotics like haloperidol and thorazine are extremely sedating as well as emotionally numbing (two reasons many people absolutely loathe them). I'm not sure that a doctor would be willing to prescribe them on a "weekend only" basis though.

A lot of antipsychotics require regular blood tests to ensure that your serum levels are within the therapeutic range. This could be a problem for you if you don't intend taking them as prescribed.
 
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If i were getting something non-maintenence, I'd go xanax. It's less activity friendly, but effective in it's purpose.

For maintenance, probably Valium.

I think kpin's are a lot like marzipan candy... although, kpin did help "take the edge off" during an opiate detox where it was all I could get, so I owe it some credit. I did have to take a good number of kpins (.5mg) where one (or maybe half) of a xanax would have been effective. I also have no benzo tolerance and am no connoisseur for this category, by any means.
 
i took kpins and they get old so f'in quick if you take them everyday.

Id go with valium, most euphoric and only dose once a day or every other day.

xanax like everyone says is asking for trouble. sure it has the largest 'peak' high of the three but you will just end up eating your scrip in two days.

if you want to enjoy your benzos in my experience they should be taken rarely, like once a week at most. Once you take them alot they totally lose theyre fun.
 
holy shit, it sounds like you are in a mentally unhealthy place. but, I'd pick the valium! the 10s, please. if you are gonna self-destruct, do so with cool, blue class.
 
As far as ceroquel giving you bad dreams, that's not a problem, I've been having the most vivid and terrifying dreams since my brothers death that I can take on a few more. At least in my dreams I get to see and speak with him again... Even though he never talks back. And we usually end up killing ourselves in the end. But I digress.

I just wanna get high. Euphoric. Im leaning towards Valium at this moment. But on weekends, I'd really like to pull a Romeo & Juliet and sleep through an entire weekend... Not to mention the 4-day Thanksgiving weekend and the week long Xmas break... I have no idea what I'm going to do to keep from going insane by then.
 
I totally understand man. well i would say go ith the valium, it is dangerous though, so beware.

For sleep you could try going to the local health food store or herb shop and see if they have any valerian, St johns wart, Skullcap and Wild Lettuce.
honestly i dont see how much your doctor could get mad at you for doing this.
They are all natural and all legal, some of them help also and it would elp you not use as much of your benzos.
You could talk to any worker in these storse and they may be ale to push you in the right direction/
 
Oh, and regarding sleep meds.

Trazodone is effective but takes a bit longer than the usual designated rx sleep pharm, for me about 45min to an hour. It gave me significant muscle pain the next day but I believe such is a fairly uncommon side effect. Possibly temporary too. I switched to ambien, actually, which I prefer for it's nature of sedation. Trazodone had a pretty heavy "drugged" feeling in my experience, a bit strange, whereas Ambien pretty much knocks me unconscious rather than falling asleep, usually in 15-20 minutes. Its unfortunate Ambien was not as effective for you.

I hope you find something effective to help you through everything, and I'm sorry about your brother.

Be careful with the benzos and your tolerance to them.
 
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