well, almost a week. tomorrow will be official week after my last use. right after use I used 4MG bupe and then 8MG following day. since then I have been trying to drop back to 4MG bupe a day. I'd eventually like to get off the bupe and not have to worry about this opiate habit (sounds whacky since I just shot last weekend, huh?). well, who knows. maybe this is just my confidence getting the best of me. maybe this is me thinking I can use once a month and get away w/ it (I know I cant; been there, done that). I have gained so much over the last 5/6 months clean, which is why I am confident my minor use was nothing; I have put up too much to lose. there is NO WAY I could even THINK to go back to what I once was doing. I will lose my new apartment, car, etc, all within a week. def. not worth it just to be junked out. maybe if I was a millionaire I'd be blogging differently but I am far from that. its sad cuz I actually DO make good money but you wouldnt have an idea; then again, you might think that but looking at the outside but on the inside I was empty. I had NOTHING. new car!? sure. gas? none. bill paid? no. rent? no paid. credit cards? bankruptcy. but that was all OK because I could TRY and hide it on the OUTSIDE as my inside was ROTTING THE FUCK AWAY!
finally my IN and OUT feel good and I'd like to stay down this path; will be there more slips up's? probably. I wont lie. but I am doing my fucking best here and it's been working somehow, someway w/ the changes I've made. so each day I hope for the best.
one last thing. I
weed.
finally my IN and OUT feel good and I'd like to stay down this path; will be there more slips up's? probably. I wont lie. but I am doing my fucking best here and it's been working somehow, someway w/ the changes I've made. so each day I hope for the best.
one last thing. I
weed.