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So I was in my first threesome last night....

^ I don't think the two concepts are mutually exclusive at all.

You might love swimming in the ocean, but I'll bet you're glad you have lifeguards about. You might be openminded enough to the thrill of skydiving, but I'll bet sure as hell you follow every rule they teach you in basic training and cling on damn tight to your instructor!

Sometimes pleasurable experiences need boundaries and rules so people don't get hurt. Those differ for everyone. And I don't think that shows lack of openmindededness - it's just common sense.
 
I just thought it was a bit hypocritical to infer that people who dont want to share their s/o with others aren't openminded , when people who say they are openminded set up rules like letting your s/o have penetration with someone , yet not allow them certain other things. Why cant they be open to letting things just flow? Ok so Im drawing a long bow. Just not convinced that because one couple A) are into 3somes/swinging that automatically makes them openminded.

or

B) Aren't into 3somes/swinging automatically makes you close minded.

Im not referring to any specific posts , just a general viewpoint.
 
ok, I had my first one last night.

It went fairly well but I was very nervous but my friend and his boyfriend were understanding and nobody forced me to do anything I didn't want to do and I didn't force them to do anything that they didn't want to do. We had discussed this for about a week or so before it actually happened and we all understood where we were coming from.

I spent the night and talked to everyone and made sure that nobody felt left out. It was kinda cool since my friend and I would do stuff and his boyfriend would watch us or I'd step away and watch them do stuff, like frottage or making out and it was like watching a live porn movie. I was more attracted to my friend but I still talked and did stuff with my friend's bf even if I wasn't attracted to him but liked him as a friend.

It was mostly just receptive oral sex/mutual masturbation, a bit of subing with a belt/blindfold (this was actually very fun!), I got licked a bit and got blown a lot, and I dominated my friends a bit and they 'commanded' me a bit. We entertained the idea of using my flogger for some sensation play, along with some sheepskin, candle wax, and ice cubes but that never happened. My friend and I traded around cockrings and that was very fun as well and my friends showed me some warming cream that they had that felt good.

We did it with the understanding that I was just exploring another aspect of myself and that it was something that I was curious about, since I'd done stuff with a guy I met at a bar but that wasn't in the best of environments/situations (I was very drunk with a stranger); but last night I was sober and it was fun and unlike ANYTHING a woman could ever do to me, and I did it with friends who I could trust.

I plan to stay in contact with my friends after I leave this area and they sent me an email saying how they enjoyed exploring this aspect of my life with me, and how they'd like to stay friends and keep in touch with me and expect the same from me.

I did feel a bit weird but I've talked to people about it who have done 3ways and they told me how it's because we're raised by society to think that monogamy is the only way to be or how anything that isn't monogamous is 'wrong', or that casual consensual sex between friends is 'bad'.

how did you feel after the first time you did one?
If you felt weird, did it pass with time?
Were you nervous as hell when you did it?
Did you stay in contact/friends with the people you did it with?
If you did, do you think that it strengthened or weakened your friendship, even if you never did play around again?
 
Last edited:
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
how did you feel after the first time you did one?
If you felt weird, did it pass with time?
Were you nervous as hell when you did it?
Did you stay in contact/friends with the people you did it with?
If you did, do you think that it strengthened or weakened your friendship, even if you never did play around again?
Click to expand...

*thinks back a long, long time to first threesome* =D

Actually, my first "threesome" was a foursome.

I hadn't really had the opportunity to have any extra-curricular activities in any previous relationships, until I hooked up with my fiance 5 years ago. Less than a year into the relationship, with the help of MDMA, we started discussing sexual fantasies and whatnot. And much to my surprise and delight, he was interested in being with other people... not just a girl either, both sexes. We both agreed it would be cool to be with a like-minded couple, because that would eliminate any worries about the intentions of the 3rd party.

This led us to seeking out swinger's clubs/events, by looking online and buying magazines from the local sex shop. The first thing we went to (god, we were SO NERVOUS) was a Saints and Sinners Ball, about 3 1/2 years ago. There, we met a really cool couple and played around with them at the event and went home. But they left us their number, and the next morning (a Sunday), still high and excited, we called them and they invited us back to their flat.

Well... we spent the whole day kissing and sucking, and watching each other fuck (the original couples only), taking more drugs and drinking Champagne.... it was probably one of the best Sundays I've ever had ;)

Afterwards we were high on the euphoria of it all for a couple of days and nothing was an issue at all.... but I'll admit a few niggling things crept in for me, and I asked stuff like "do you think she was prettier than me" and asked why he was so keen on going down on her and not so much with me. But basically, it ended up a really positive experience and I'll remember it fondly forever. :)

After that, we sort of got on a roll and went to a few S& S balls in a row, meeting new couples and me kissing random single girls.

The first time we ever had a "threesome" was with a good friend, I'll call her Cindy. Cindy and I were friends from our local pub - we all used to hang out there. I was really attracted to her from the beginning (I have bi instincts but am pretty picky). There was a really embarrasing incident once when I tried to kiss her and she said no. But this night, SHE came onto ME. She was really keen to go back to our house with us.

I said yes and obviously my partner was keen as mustard, seeing as she was almost the physical opposite to me - I'm curvy and brunette with ample bosom and she's very petite and skinny, short with blonde hair. I think he thought all his Christmases had come at once ;)

It started with me and Cindy having a shower together. I shaved her pubic hair while my partner watched - she wanted me to, and I was down with that ;). Cindy and I then went into the bedroom and we both went down on each other - she wanted her first time with a girl to be private. Then we all convened to the couch where we had several hours of playing around; I gave him permission to fuck her but unfortunately little man wouldn't comply, given the alcohol involved (let this be a lesson guys!!)

Afterwards when we were spent we all just lounged around on the couches half-naked and watched a dvd. In the morning I got up and made Cindy breakfast and drove her home.

You'd think it would be weird after that but it was not.. not in the slightest. When we met at the pub the next time we shared a secret grin, hugged and went on like normal. We are still the best of friends. That's when I realised that being with FRIENDS for a threesome was actually much less threatening to me than being with a stranger. I didn't have any of the anxiety I'd felt with the first encounter; at all.

This experience has been validated since with a couple of other threesomes with friends; one a guy and two others female. All of which I still see regularly.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm actually more cool doing it with friends, although there are obvious limits to that (ie. some don't want to, and you don't want to come across a nympho to your group). But for those who've been down with it with us... it's been nothing but good.

I hope that answered some of your questions! :)
 
Strawberry_lovemuffin said:
^ I don't think the two concepts are mutually exclusive at all.

Sometimes pleasurable experiences need boundaries and rules so people don't get hurt. Those differ for everyone. And I don't think that shows lack of openmindededness - it's just common sense.
Click to expand...

If you have common sence (Logos/Logic) you don't need boundaries: Become One: One World without international boundaries. We need Logos, there's too much superstitious religion in the World.
 
"she said it was so we continued fucking"

that is pretty funny. u and him must have been right into it, and him for not wanting to stop because of her while she is sitting there having a smoke. did he blow before you guys stopped?

i feel sorry for this sarah in a way as she copped the sharp end of the stick. i dont think she intended on sitting there watching her boyfriend go hard on her friend.
 
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