• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

So I need to be clean for the start of the semester. I have one 8mg sub...

Wolfmans_BrothEr

Wolfmans_BrothEr

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2011
Messages
903
I know this shit is so repetitive but i really need some legit advice to get it done this time. So please help me out

I need to get clean by sept 4th and be in condition to attend classes. I've been shooting dope since February. No point getting into how much or how long I've been on opiates fact is its gonna be bad

In the last two months I've had a few days off here and there. I've taken sub but never enough to make me fully feel better so I feel like even during the days I'm taking sub I'm still accomplishing something in terms of withdrawal. I still feel a little w.d when on sub is it still simply putting my wd on hold or am I accomplishing anything in terms of getting thru withdrawal?

I took 4mg today but after about 7 hours I relapsed. I'm assuming the sub blocked most of the h so I'm not really counting today as day one. Does it work like that?

I have 8mg bupe, my plan is (hopefully) if I can stick to it:
Day 1-4mg
Day 2-2mg
Day 3-2mg
Day 4-done

If necessary I can prob get my hands on another one or two 8mg strips. Getting any comfort meds from a doc or kratom isn't an option. Only other thing I could get would be Benadryl and loperamide. Can anyone help me out with a better way to utilize the subs I have or anything that could be useful to get me through the physical parts?
 
You need more time man. Sorry to say it, but going from shooting dope, prolly a lot, and hoping to use bupe for 3 days and then be done is probably asking too much.

If you wanna kick between now and September 14 I'd recommend you go CT, today. But first go to the store and get what's gonna help, loperamide and benadryl. Also get tons of Ensure or some other nutritional drink to get yourself nourished when you have no appetite. Also, some sports drinks. And while you're kicking drink as much water as you can. Gotta flush that system. And when you can, get some orgasms going so your brain can start to get back to making its own stuff that it quit making while you were on opiates.

I'd use the bupe sparingly, just enough to make it so you can eat a little during the first few days. Tell a couple of trusted, sober people what you're doing. Ask for help. If you don't have cable or netflix, try and get some lighthearted stuff to watch. Nothing heavy. Seasons upon seasons of silly sitcoms helped me. Stuff I'd have never watched using. When you're off the walls with WDs, it helps sometimes to watch something light.

Mostly, just know that after using as you have, there is no easy way out. Whatever path you take to getting clean will involve suffering, suffering that once you make it out of, will make you a more spiritual, happier person. The immeasurable amount of compassion that addicts who get clean have comes from their suffering. We know how to suffer, we know what it's like, and we care. We really care!

Know that whatever you have to go through to get clean is worth it. Post a sign in your place that says, "You are a wonderful person and you are doing something amazing." If you're kicking opiates, that truly is amazing.

Know that countless others have gone before you. Countless others have come from seemingly hopeless addictions and made it through, and gotten their lives back, and have returned to being happily and usefully whole.

Just do it! You can do it!

And, of course, your way may not be mine, but for me, 12 step groups have been key. The support there and the fact that you're with people who know exactly what it's like is huge.

Let me know if I can be of service to you.

Love and peace,
podsnomo
 
like pods said,it's just way too soon.
take a semester off.it's your life,man.

pnm,reading your replies here and in the kratom thread,
you're really being of service to your fellow man too.
by posting here.
Im also in AA and know what you're saying.
 
I have student loans, if I stop going to school I have to start paying those loans which I can't. You really don't think I'll be ok in two weeks to go back to school? I was only planning on taking two classes...
 
Look here WolfBro,

I'm going to love you enough to try to tell you the truth to the best of my ability. This is your LIFE. Addiction kills. And by shooting do you mean you've been tapping veins?

Yeah, you might be able to go to school. Yeah, you might be able to take two classes. But if you don't put getting and staying clean as your NUMBER ONE priority you are playing with your life.

You may be able to quit, get through and go to school. For a while. But for addicts, without recovery, the net result of sobreity is to make you so miserable that you'll wish you were dead. Happened to me. Happens to a lot of us.

I have student loans too. You can go into unemployment forbearance, economic hardship forbearance, and all kinds of shit. You can easily buy yourself a year or two of no penalties. Just the VERY small interest getting tacked on the to the principal. But really, that should be the least of your worries. Do you want to live, or do you want to die?

Everything, and I mean EVERY single fucking thing that isn't recovery, ALL of it: job, significant other, school, debt, warrants, plans, and everything can all go piss off while you get clean, learn how to live in the world clean, and in time, get your sanity and your life back.

You are an addict. You want an easy way out. There isn't one. Face Everything And Run (FEAR) or Face Everything and Recover.

If are even a tiny bit like me and every other addict and/or alcoholic I know then you have two choices. 1: Live life on a spiritual basis in recovery. 2: Die an addict's death.

Sure, you might carry on for years in addiction, but if you use long enough it will kill you. And if you don't get into recovery, even if you manage to get some abstinence going, you will wind up repeatedly in jails and institutions until you wind up dead.

This is no small deal. Get help.

I love you.
I love you all.

pnm
 
Nice posts pods=D

I would however not use the loporimede as a medication in the withdrwal.. contrary to what most people think it does pass through the blood brain barrier, but it is just broken down ALMOST imidatelly once it crosses. However it is there long enough to interact with the opiat receptors and thus will prevent them from shutting down and although it does provide significant reliefe it just prolonges your withdrawl and I have seen allot of people just wind up being physically dependent on that. Also after watching the scenario where two different adicts begin kicking really similar opiat habbits it is so heartbreaking to see the person who chose to try and facilitate a better withdrawl with the loporimide still strugling weeks and months after the person who chose not to copletely done with the acute withdrawl.

The medications I would get to promote the most comfortable and quickest withdrawal are clonidine >here 2< and a drug like nuerotonin >here< >here< >here< other drugsfor the Restless legs syndrom>here<.

To this you may wish to add a benzo but to make sure you do not switch one physical dependence for another I would only use it at night. You can also explore the idea of using a ssri like wellbutrin.

You can do this.. I would also look into a plan for staying clean of the opiates;)
 
Last edited:
Good luck. I'm in the same boat as u waiting for classes to start worried if I'm gonna be able to kick this before then. Keep us posted. Feel free to add me!
 
Your first attempt with taking Buprenorphine should show you 4 days with it isn't going to be the deciding factor in you getting clean. I'm not going into the fact that you relapsed, cuz it's hard to relapse if you're not clean.. Do you really think you'll be able do well on your own, in a college atmosphere, when you crumbled under your own pressure? And you had something already. It wasn't like you were trying to get high to not get sick when you were already on Buprenorphine. Get a plan, and get on the bus, if you want to get clean. If you want to clean up for your classes, that isn't a reason to stay sober.

If 4mg didn't help in the prevention of you getting high the first time, then you need a longer period of time to integrate and taper. I wish getting and staying clean was easier, but it's not.
 
Day one - 2mg at 12:30pm, 2mg at 3:30pm, 4mg at 11pm
Day two - 2mg at 12:30pm, 2mg at 6:30pm, 4mg at 11pm
Today - woke up feeling ALOT better, went the day without taking any sub. During the first two days the bupe only got rid of 50% of wd. All my joints killed, I was sooo tired and weak, depressed, unmotivated, sweating and no appetite, so maybe I accomplished something th first two days despite the sub in my system

If I feel physically able I don't see what's so wrong about going to school. If I don't go to school that just gives me more time to sit around at home and structures a big part of recovery. I don't see how it wouldn't be good. U guys say I'm not ready for the stresses of school but school or not life still creates stress. Whether its from work or ppl or family it's gonna happen.

I feel like its more important I get a support group and a plan especially for when I get stressed. It gonna happen either way might as well be prepared for it and deal with it. Need to keep myself busy not sit at home all day if school is a way to keep myself busy and another reason to not use then why not?
 
Wolfmans_BrothEr said:
Day one - 2mg at 12:30pm, 2mg at 3:30pm, 4mg at 11pm
Day two - 2mg at 12:30pm, 2mg at 6:30pm, 4mg at 11pm
Today - woke up feeling ALOT better, went the day without taking any sub. During the first two days the bupe only got rid of 50% of wd. All my joints killed, I was sooo tired and weak, depressed, unmotivated, sweating and no appetite, so maybe I accomplished something th first two days despite the sub in my system

If I feel physically able I don't see what's so wrong about going to school. If I don't go to school that just gives me more time to sit around at home and structures a big part of recovery. I don't see how it wouldn't be good. U guys say I'm not ready for the stresses of school but school or not life still creates stress. Whether its from work or ppl or family it's gonna happen.

I feel like its more important I get a support group and a plan especially for when I get stressed. It gonna happen either way might as well be prepared for it and deal with it. Need to keep myself busy not sit at home all day if school is a way to keep myself busy and another reason to not use then why not?
Click to expand...

I'm glad to hear that you are starting to feel better. It's a process, and it takes time, but with patience and determination (which you already have) you can do it.

I especially agree with what I put in bold letters. I found boredom to be a huge trigger for using, so when I got sober, I had to fill my life up with things so I couldn't really think about using that much. Granted I can get stressed from being so busy all the time and stress is another trigger, but if you have a sense of responsibility then that will hopefully combat your feeling of wanting to use because you are stressed, because you know that you have responsibilities to tend to the next day.

You're doing a great job - keep it up :)
 
If I feel physically able I don't see what's so wrong about going to school. If I don't go to school that just gives me more time to sit around at home and structures a big part of recovery. I don't see how it wouldn't be good. U guys say I'm not ready for the stresses of school but school or not life still creates stress. Whether its from work or ppl or family it's gonna happen.

I feel like its more important I get a support group and a plan especially for when I get stressed. It gonna happen either way might as well be prepared for it and deal with it. Need to keep myself busy not sit at home all day if school is a way to keep myself busy and another reason to not use then why not?
Click to expand...

Fucking good going dude.
You're onto it - the stress will happen, so be prepared. I'd still be a complete mess if wasn't busy 6 days a week. It's definitely one of the keys.
Best wishes.
 
I think I'm gonna take your guys advice and take some time off school n get my mind right. I'm moving out of state and probably won't b going back to nj for a while

Does anyone know what'll happen when I stop attending class in terms of my loans? I know I'm gonna have to pay them but how long do I have until I have to start making payments? And what if I decide to go back to school after like a year? Will I still have to pay off my loans while in school? Even if it's a different school?
 
You may be right man. You might be able to go to school. It's just that recovery has to come first, and IME having something kinda big and stressful to do can easily become number one, and when something else becomes first, ahead of recovery... ugh. I'm back at it and as miserable as ever. I gotta stay clean. Number 1!

You're probably making a good choice to take some time off. Don't just worry about your loans. Worry don't do shit! I know that from experience. :-)

Just call them. Tell them whatever. Life hardship. They want to avoid default at all costs. They will give you deferment options out the ass. Usually all I had to do was answer a few questions on the phone every six months. Just be sure to call them, then you'll have one less stresser over you head.

You usually have 6 months from stopping attending. But best policy is always let them know what is up. That's one of the main things in the promisory you sign, that you tell them about status changes. They seems scary, but IME they are always there to help.

Put recovery first. All else will fall into place. Doesn't seem logical, and it's not. But it DOES work.

Action. It's all about what you do. Your mind/ego is going to tell you to do all kinds of crazy shit. At some point it will convince that using something is a good idea. When that happens, you need to have put in the recovery work in order to be prepared to do something else, like calling your sponsor, going to a meeting, taking a walk, whatever. Just, not using!

You can do it, with the help of some power greater than yourself. For me, the power greater than myself that I can ften relate to is the ME I could be, instead of the ME I'm gonna be if I pick up again.

Best wishes bro.

Next right thing.

pnm
 
good call on choosing your life,OP.
this shit's real.
like pods said,follow your heart and do the next right thing.
 
You're on the right track. Keep it up, and you'll be back and better than you were. All I want to do now that I'm clean is go back to school, but life gives you obstacles when you sit idle for extended periods. Keep your mind fresh with whatever learning materials with your time off. I'm having trouble remembering how to do algebraic equations, but I took a lot longer off of school..still on a hiatus from school..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top