I need to gush for a minute. I'm sooo happy, happier than I have been in a VERY long time. This is my first sober relationship (what a trip!) and it feels AMAZING. I can't even really describe it. And it truly does happen right when you stop looking for it and aren't expecting it.
I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew what it was like to be happy and to be treated right. But clearly, I had no idea. I have been missing out! But at the same time, I feel very grateful for all the times I've been hurt, fucked over, or treated badly. If I hadn't, I wouldn't know how to appreciate my boyfriend as much as he deserves to be appreciated. He makes me feel loved, cared for, appreciated, safe, secure, and comfortable. He wants to talk to me constantly, which would normally annoy me if it was any other guy - and is even the reason I've broken up with a few - but I want to talk to him constantly too. He is always telling me how much he loves me, misses me, and can't stop thinking about me. And he's always doing little things for me that show me that he cares. Like one time when I laid my head down on the table because I was feeling sick, he got up and cleaned it for me. Just that one table. I didn't know what he was doing at first so I asked him, "You're not cleaning the rest?" And he was like, "No. You don't like the other ones." It was quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. He truly puts my needs above everything else, even before I know I need it myself! Or like how he spent an hour at one of those claw machines with the stuffed animals trying to win me a penguin, simply because I had mentioned in passing a few days before that I love penguins. He is constantly doing little things like that. For once in a relationship, I have no doubts. When he says he loves me, and when he tells me he wants to be with me forever, I believe him. They're more than just words. I knew he loved me before he even told me, just because actions really do speak louder than words. And his actions can't say, "I love you" anymore clearly.
I've found someone that wants to spend the rest of his life making me happy, and I want to do the same for him. I never thought I would get married or have kids until I met him. I didn't really want to, I don't think, or maybe I just didn't believe it was out there for me. Like I didn't deserve that kind of happiness. But my boyfriend can't wait to have kids, he freaking LOVES kids... and he's going to be a great dad one day. And he wants all of that with me. I no longer have any doubts about that part of my future. Now I know for sure that I will get married, have kids, and have a family, and I know exactly who it's going to be with. I can't picture doing it with anyone else. I don't WANT to do it with anyone else.
Above all, he keeps me sober. He's made it very clear that my relapsing is the one thing that is unforgiveable. And nothing... I mean, NOTHING... is worth losing him. I don't even need to take drugs. I have everything I need right here. I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, my family, my friends, and my future to look forward to (school and a career). I couldn't see that until I fell in love with him. But love has a funny way of making everything seem brighter, more positive, like nothing is impossible. I feel like I can do anything, if I just stay sober. I mean, I found the most amazing, caring, wonderful guy that exists. He is perfect to me. And he wants to be with me! I don't know how I got so freaking lucky, but I have absolutely no intentions of throwing that away just for drugs. HELL no. And I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the entire universe. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him, or that it's too good to be true. But I guess that's what love IS. It's SUPPOSED to feel this good. I just never knew I would find it... and certainly not with someone like him. He really is the whole package. He's incredibly attractive, sexy, caring, ambitious, respectful, close with his family, always keeps a positive attitude, can make me feel better when I'm sad just by talking to me, a great kisser, and I feel completely at ease and safe when I'm in his arms. We haven't slept together yet, but I know that will be absolutely AMAZING too, and I can't wait. Man, I could go on forever about how much I love him and why. I just do.
Seriously, I am actually high on LIFE right now. Who would have ever thought?! I feel so blessed and so thankful to have him in my life. I can't be upset about anything or regret anything from my past anymore, because everything bad that has ever happened to me seems like it has been leading up to this moment... and teaching me how to be the best girlfriend I can be for him, so that I can fully appreciate him and allow him to fully appreciate me. And if none of the bad things had happened, I probably wouldn't even have met him. That's what led me to him. I am now a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason". HE is my reason. I didn't know it was even possible to be this happy. Lol I'm constantly telling him, "Dude I think I've reached my happiness quota. Anymore and I'm going to combust or overdose on happiness or something." And his response to that is always, "I haven't even gotten started yet. You better get used to it because I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy."
I am just... sooo lucky. I can't even believe my luck. I really can't. I love him SO much. I really do feel like the happiest, luckiest girl in the entire world. It makes me want to just share my happiness with everyone else because I can't even contain it. Seriously, EVERY girl deserves to be treated this way and deserves to have a... I'll call him Shaun (not his real name). I wish I could make a clone of my boyfriend and just, like, give EVERYONE a Shaun, so that everyone can be as happy as me. I don't know. I just never thought this would happen to me. I mean, good things just don't happen to me like this. And now that I've finally found him, I have absolutely no intentions of letting him go. And the best part? I have a lifetime of this to look forward to.
Thanks for letting me gush for a minute, Bluelight!
I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew what it was like to be happy and to be treated right. But clearly, I had no idea. I have been missing out! But at the same time, I feel very grateful for all the times I've been hurt, fucked over, or treated badly. If I hadn't, I wouldn't know how to appreciate my boyfriend as much as he deserves to be appreciated. He makes me feel loved, cared for, appreciated, safe, secure, and comfortable. He wants to talk to me constantly, which would normally annoy me if it was any other guy - and is even the reason I've broken up with a few - but I want to talk to him constantly too. He is always telling me how much he loves me, misses me, and can't stop thinking about me. And he's always doing little things for me that show me that he cares. Like one time when I laid my head down on the table because I was feeling sick, he got up and cleaned it for me. Just that one table. I didn't know what he was doing at first so I asked him, "You're not cleaning the rest?" And he was like, "No. You don't like the other ones." It was quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. He truly puts my needs above everything else, even before I know I need it myself! Or like how he spent an hour at one of those claw machines with the stuffed animals trying to win me a penguin, simply because I had mentioned in passing a few days before that I love penguins. He is constantly doing little things like that. For once in a relationship, I have no doubts. When he says he loves me, and when he tells me he wants to be with me forever, I believe him. They're more than just words. I knew he loved me before he even told me, just because actions really do speak louder than words. And his actions can't say, "I love you" anymore clearly.
I've found someone that wants to spend the rest of his life making me happy, and I want to do the same for him. I never thought I would get married or have kids until I met him. I didn't really want to, I don't think, or maybe I just didn't believe it was out there for me. Like I didn't deserve that kind of happiness. But my boyfriend can't wait to have kids, he freaking LOVES kids... and he's going to be a great dad one day. And he wants all of that with me. I no longer have any doubts about that part of my future. Now I know for sure that I will get married, have kids, and have a family, and I know exactly who it's going to be with. I can't picture doing it with anyone else. I don't WANT to do it with anyone else.
Above all, he keeps me sober. He's made it very clear that my relapsing is the one thing that is unforgiveable. And nothing... I mean, NOTHING... is worth losing him. I don't even need to take drugs. I have everything I need right here. I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, my family, my friends, and my future to look forward to (school and a career). I couldn't see that until I fell in love with him. But love has a funny way of making everything seem brighter, more positive, like nothing is impossible. I feel like I can do anything, if I just stay sober. I mean, I found the most amazing, caring, wonderful guy that exists. He is perfect to me. And he wants to be with me! I don't know how I got so freaking lucky, but I have absolutely no intentions of throwing that away just for drugs. HELL no. And I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the entire universe. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him, or that it's too good to be true. But I guess that's what love IS. It's SUPPOSED to feel this good. I just never knew I would find it... and certainly not with someone like him. He really is the whole package. He's incredibly attractive, sexy, caring, ambitious, respectful, close with his family, always keeps a positive attitude, can make me feel better when I'm sad just by talking to me, a great kisser, and I feel completely at ease and safe when I'm in his arms. We haven't slept together yet, but I know that will be absolutely AMAZING too, and I can't wait. Man, I could go on forever about how much I love him and why. I just do.
Seriously, I am actually high on LIFE right now. Who would have ever thought?! I feel so blessed and so thankful to have him in my life. I can't be upset about anything or regret anything from my past anymore, because everything bad that has ever happened to me seems like it has been leading up to this moment... and teaching me how to be the best girlfriend I can be for him, so that I can fully appreciate him and allow him to fully appreciate me. And if none of the bad things had happened, I probably wouldn't even have met him. That's what led me to him. I am now a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason". HE is my reason. I didn't know it was even possible to be this happy. Lol I'm constantly telling him, "Dude I think I've reached my happiness quota. Anymore and I'm going to combust or overdose on happiness or something." And his response to that is always, "I haven't even gotten started yet. You better get used to it because I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy."
I am just... sooo lucky. I can't even believe my luck. I really can't. I love him SO much. I really do feel like the happiest, luckiest girl in the entire world. It makes me want to just share my happiness with everyone else because I can't even contain it. Seriously, EVERY girl deserves to be treated this way and deserves to have a... I'll call him Shaun (not his real name). I wish I could make a clone of my boyfriend and just, like, give EVERYONE a Shaun, so that everyone can be as happy as me. I don't know. I just never thought this would happen to me. I mean, good things just don't happen to me like this. And now that I've finally found him, I have absolutely no intentions of letting him go. And the best part? I have a lifetime of this to look forward to.
Thanks for letting me gush for a minute, Bluelight!