So I fell for another druggie, I guess

[pofacedhoe]

the dealer guys has a life that is a mess a severe addiction to benzo's which as we all know is very difficult to break. bad choice

the muslim guy wants kids and marriage and you aren't ready for that so it sounds.

sounds like you crave the shallow instant love obsessive honeymoon phase and have a thing for dealers. your choice but to me they both sound unsuitable though i would take the muslim guy its just a pity you dont get any feelings for him because he has his shit together. at the same time a culture clash of expectations could cause big problems down the line.

 

[Ninae]

Exactly my first thoughts. That text you copied here didn't move me at all, in fact, it comes across to me as insincere. I think he's telling you what you want to hear. I think he's even trying to warn you he'll use you for selfish reasons in his message to you. - He might not be a 'bad' person, but what I get from that message is, he knows you're easy to manipulate, he will manipulate you, he doesn't feel 100% right about that, so he's alluding to that....so that if you do keep coming to him, he doesn't feel so bad, because it's your choice.

But I see him more as a love-interest than a reliable dealer.

And you haven't met him, there is a real sweetness and sincerity about him, and you can tell a lot from someone just by looking at them if you're sensitive. Just seeing a picture of a murderer in the paper, the information that he is is almost superfluous.

He was also hooked up to me by a girl who's known him for years and completely trusts him. She even sent the money with him up front when he went to buy for her. Though there's always a risk with new hook-ups as opposed to ones you've known for years and become friendly and exchange favours with as they really don't think twice about screwing you over.

That is why I'm not planning to trust him with much. Might try him out with a small amount to see if he's for real, and never more than that. It would be different if I lived in the city as he needs more customers and said he'd be happy to serve me, but by mail is just too risky.

Adore the guy though.

 

[Ninae]

sounds like you crave the shallow instant love obsessive honeymoon phase and have a thing for dealers. your choice but to me they both sound unsuitable though i would take the muslim guy its just a pity you dont get any feelings for him because he has his shit together.

I'm just interested in being in a relationship for as long as the love lasts for and wouldn't call that shallow. Most people lose those feelings in a few years, it's not built to last, and I have no interest in being in a loveless marriage for 20 years for the sake of children or finances, which so many are suffering from, no thanks.

Don't have a thing for dealers, who in their right mind would, just happen to have met some extremely attractive ones who I responded too. Besides, most addicts are dealers anyway, it's the only way they can finance their habit apart from prostitution or other crimes. These aren't the big serious dealers, just doing what they need to get by.

 

[footscrazy]

Of course, I haven't met him. I'm just giving you my advice, from what I glean from the sitcho, from what you've posted. I've read threads from you in the past and I think you're a good person, and I hope it works out for you, whatever path you choose

 

[Ninae]

Of course, I haven't met him. I'm just giving you my advice, from what I glean from the sitcho, from what you've posted. I've read threads from you in the past and I think you're a good person, and I hope it works out for you, whatever path you choose

Thanks, I'll send you a picture of him if you like, and maybe you'll get a better idea.

 

[Comrade Kane]

Ninae you sound insane. You are likely obsessive. There is no way you feel love for this man you met for ten minutes. This feeling is infatuation and sexual attraction but not love.

You need to see that what you already have is the right one.

 

[Ninae]

I think for starters you should end things with the guy you've been seeing...

I am...would just like to keep him as a friend as he's a good support to me. But with the way he feels it's not fair.

It sounds like you're like me and attracted to the unstable mysterious dangerous kinda guy. It also sounds like you should work on distancing yourself from these kinds of people.

I just love men, and actually love all different kinds of men. I like both masculine and feminine men for different reasons. Like my ex, who I was crazy about for 3 years was a very macho, wild, party-guy type, who'd drink and occasionally do coke on weekends. But never went too far or missed a day of work or exercise and was always in control. So he was very strong and diciplined and a completely different type. I saw him more as a strong man I could rely on and a father figure.

While this one, bless his soul, is weak and delicate and can't handle his life. And very sick both physiclly and mentally. But we all know what Heroin addiction does to people and he might have been something completely different if not involved in drugs, like many others.

I do like the wild, exciting, unconventional guys though. Never boring with them. But there's also a real sympathy and understanding between us, we're on the same wavelength and find it very easy to communicate and have many of the same feelings and ideals. And that is not so easy to find.

I've got absolutely nothing against drug users and I think they can be perfectly good partners but a few things bother me in your description of him:

- he told you to take more klonopin. This is not what someone who cares about you would say. He's a drug dealer and it very much sounds like the whole thing about giving you the impression that he's into you is to get you to buy more from him.

No, no, you've got that wrong. He knew I was going home and wasn't going to buy any more from him, he'd already sold me a big glass. What it was that I was a bit of a nervous reck as I'd been awake on the bus all night, then waiting since 7 in the morning, and I'd just taken a few so he saw I had nerves and was only trying to help me. He was very compassionate in his attitude as he reached out to hold my hand, and that really made and impression on me, to be met with that kind of kindness from a complete stranger, and especially in that scene.

- he's not just a drug user, he's a drug addict. I think I recall reading from an old thread of yours (sorry if I'm wrong, might be mixing you up with someone) that you've had your own experiences with addiction, and you would therefore know what this does to a person and how badly suited for a relationship it makes them.
- not only is he a drug user, he's a drug dealer. I just have a problem with that. Imo it does show a lack of morality. He's consciously living off feeding the ruin of certain people's lives. I have no respect for drug dealers whatsoever and really don't think they can be trusted...refer back to what I said about the klonopins.

True, all true. But that is life. It's not perfect and you make your choices. The drug scene is what it is. If you choose to get involved in it and become involved with people in it (which can be just as irresistable as any other person) you'll just have to put up with the realities of it, or make a choice if you find it worth it or not.

Anyway, there you go. I get that you're the kind of person that gets attached easily - once again, so am I and I feel like we've got a number of things in common in terms of who the people we are attracted to are and how this attraction occurs. But you should really, really work on reserving those feelings for people you know better. This man could be anyone and there are already warning signals. Please don't get involved with him, so many less risky people out there that I'm sure you could get along with just as well.

Well, see, I guess. My feeling ae quite fluid that way. And like I said he still loves his past fiance. Though I suppose if they've ended it for good and we stay in touch there might be a chnce as he's very needy for someone to cling to right now. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who can be happy without love in his life

 

[Ninae]

Shit, I think he has a daughter too, could he get any more messy? And I'm always obsessing when the first waves of love hits me because it floors me. Having abstinences already.

 

[Ninae]

By the way, does he look like someone who would screw me over? He does have a real positive and innocent energy about him. Shame about the glasses though.

*You say he's a drug dealer and posted his pic on a drug forum...honestly, I don't think he'd be happy about that so I removed the images. Sorry.*

Just curious if you have the same opinion now (before I delete this)?

 

[Pagey]

You can't judge someone by how they look, it would be completely pointless for us to try and get something about his character from a few pictures of him...
Example: I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and he asked me if I'd ever done drugs stronger than weed, before adding that I looked like the type who would stay away from anything hard forever.
Oh the irony.
The point is you can't trust appearances. It's easy to make yourself look like something you're not.

You barely know the guy, I say better to cut contact with him now before you get even more attached. You've seen him like once, it won't be hard to move on.

 

[Ninae]

That's not really what I mean, though. Of course you won't be able to see everything everyone might be capable of or whatever. But you can see into someone's energy, consciousness, feelings, and basic nature, or their core as he said, just by looking into their eyes. At least many of us have that ability. I can easily tell the frequency of love in someone by looking at their eyes, for instance. Or how much joy or sadness is in them. It's all energy.

 

[Pagey]

That's what I'm saying. It's so easy to hide all that or to deceive people. I mean just look at the number of cases where someone kills themselves and their closest friends were unsuspecting, or whatever. It's not because you're generally good at it that you should trust that...It's too easy to trust people immediately when they really don't deserve it.

 

[Ninae]

Well, no, but can't you tell the difference between a good person and a bad person?

 

[Pagey]

No, I really don't think so - and I'm afraid if you think that way you could really end up doing something bad for yourself.

 

[Ninae]

Then you just lack the sensitivity for human energies, but that's okay, we all have different skills. Negative energy is immediately repulsive to me for instance. It just takes one look at them, no need to get to know them. Bear in mind everything is based on energy, especially human consciousness.

Doesn't mean a positive person couldn't do something bad in certain circumstances, or the other way around. It's a lot more complex than that. But generally you will have a lot more love and happiness and be treated much better by someone with positive energy, or a "good person", however you want to put it.

 

[Jean-Paul]

But I would very much like to know and learn more about the deep spiritual knowledge you have. I am a deep believe in the one true God (the only one there is ), but the other one I have also had contact with in the form of the figure Thanatos (the Greek mythologies god over death) and as an 11 year old he instructed me in chaos magic (don’t even google it, evil). And that hell and that hatred I escaped from and as soon as I lay down and prayed I found God in crying as a 22-year old

schizophrenia.

 

[Jean-Paul]

Doesn't mean a positive person couldn't do something bad in certain circumstances, or the other way around. It's a lot more complex than that. But generally you will have a lot more love and happiness and be treated much better by someone with positive energy, or a "good person", however you want to put it.

girl, don't you know sociopaths are the most charming people? you sound like an easy mark. hopefully he doesn't take you for all you're worth.

 

[Pagey]

Then you just lack the sensitivity for human energies, but that's okay, we all have different skills. Negative energy is immediately repulsive to me for instance. It just takes one look at them, no need to get to know them. Bear in mind everything is based on energy, especially human consciousness.

Doesn't mean a positive person couldn't do something bad in certain circumstances, or the other way around. It's a lot more complex than that. But generally you will have a lot more love and happiness and be treated much better by someone with positive energy, or a "good person", however you want to put it.

No actually, I don't lack that sensitivity at all, quite the contrary in fact. I'm just realistic and have learned that nothing good comes out of trusting people immediately.
...
Especially drug dealers.

It doesn't take one look to know *anything* remotely deep about a person. It's so ridiculously easy to lie to people and in 'lying' I'm including giving off the wrong 'energy' or however you want to call it.

 

[Ninae]

Well, you are right, some also have the talent to lie "energetically" - a form of acting and very useful skill which I'm sure most dealers become very adapt at making use of when doing deals over time (just cause of the sheer desperation often involved).

Anyway, that wasn't really what I was talking about here. I must have spent at least half an hour with him and sometimes you can just observe people when they are not doing anything or trying to manipulate you, like just chatting carelessly and looking out of the window, the first eye contact, etc.

That is when their real nature will come through as they have no reason to hide it then (which is unnatural and takes effort). You can't always hide yourself. Normally it shows who you are.

 

[RobotRipping]

really though people are incredibly complex. Someone you can trust right now could totally fuck you over at any time. It's a risk and in your case a big risk. I agree with you about being sensitive and feeling people's energies and just knowing that they are good or bad people but that exact intuition has led me to be fucked over because there are people who manipulate others by doing this very thing (portraying themselves a certain way). I even do it sometimes without noticing.

everyone here sees red flags but either way let us know how it works out.