Makes sense. Your right about me thinking of addiction as in the sense of physical syptoms. I wasn't even thinking about the mental side. Maybe your right I should stop for a few months. I'm just lucky I've never been offered oxycotin. The usual stuff I get is hydro 5s and maybe 7.5 every now and then. Id hate to see how id be on oc... the real reason I got into pills big time was because my girl hates drugs so I can't smoke since she would find out. I know going behind her back and poppin pills is wrong but it just feels so right.
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BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
So how do you resist?
- Thread starter Protoryu
- Start date
Makes sense. Your right about me thinking of addiction as in the sense of physical syptoms. I wasn't even thinking about the mental side. Maybe your right I should stop for a few months. I'm just lucky I've never been offered oxycotin. The usual stuff I get is hydro 5s and maybe 7.5 every now and then. Id hate to see how id be on oc... the real reason I got into pills big time was because my girl hates drugs so I can't smoke since she would find out. I know going behind her back and poppin pills is wrong but it just feels so right.
the bold one
Bluelighter
you sound like an addiction waiting to happen,not trying to be harsh,but get a grip this is something you do not want in your life.you sound like i did when iwas your age..i did not listen and it took everything to the point where i was homeless sleeping behind mcdonalds at age 34 please listen.....................good luck
BlackOnWhite
Bluelighter
You're just like me, once I get a script I go out of my way to fill it and take it home, pop as many as possible and then I'm fucked. I run out, I'm hanging out till my next script. I also have an addictive personality but the only thing keeping me in reality is telling myself I am a drug addict. I am addicted to the feeling of drugs just like someone can get addicted to the feeling of sex. Lando has it spot on
CaptainHero
Greenlighter
I didn't read the whole thread but it mostly sounds like a simple mental addiction. The excitement of it.
LONG BUT PLEASE READ I GUARANTEE IT WILL HELP
Your situation is a bit like mine. I'm in University and have a HUGE supply of opiates (worked in pharmacy). I literally have 4 full bottles of 200mg morphine pills, 2 unopened bottles of 8mg dillies, a full bottle of OC 80's and literally hundreds of odd pills (hydromorphone/oxy/morphine) scattered in my binder
. Also benzo's and amps (pretty much every abuseable pharm).
I started using opiates and drugs a year ago in the summer. I am not physically addicted, but, like you, I do enjoy my opiates (specifically oxy). For me its not so much a feinding but more like, "I'm bored, it'd be more fun with oxy." The other reason I'd use is for stress so I was using a lot at exam time. But the majority of the time I was using just as a "What the hell, why not."
DO NOT DO THIS!!! I find if I use for 3 days in a row or more I start to get lacrimation and mild depression. Only lasts a day if I stop but still, this is what prevents me from abusing. I really hate the lacrimation because I'm an athletic, manly looking guy but it makes me cry like a baby over the most irrational things.
I live at school during the year but come home every 2 weeks or so for the weekend. I NEVER bring the drugs back (except weed
) so when I'm at home I am never using opiates and so its only a special occasion kind of thing.
I was starting to fall into a cycle near the end of the school year where I was using 1x a day, 6-7x a week. I would get high in the early afternoon or morning and by dinner the high was gone (snorting). I told myself that it was out of my system and it was like I had never done the drug. I know this is incorrect but its amazing how opiates twist logic. Luckily I finished the school year before I became physically addicted. I did end up getting lacrimation for a few days and a little bit of depression but a few days later and I was back to myself. I am now back at school doing a summer course but am in control of my use again.
What I tell myself, and you should use this too, is that opiates are a special treat and should be kept that way. When you use every day it is no longer special (habituation) and you see noticeably less effects. If you want a good high, keep it to once every few days (or longer) and never use more than your standard amount (20mg oxy for me now).
If I can't get really high off of 20 mg oxy or equivalent for other drugs, I'm going to put it down for a few days and give it a rest. I make sure I feel extreme warmth, a rush, and a euphoric high that lasts at least 3 hours. If I use 2+ days in a row I don't feel this so this is how I space.
Luckily for you there isn't a near endless supply of drugs under your bed so just make sure to space it out. If you never get a solid connect I think you will be fine but its a rocky road if you choose to follow it. I almost slipped off the path and don't want to see you do it too.
Your situation is a bit like mine. I'm in University and have a HUGE supply of opiates (worked in pharmacy). I literally have 4 full bottles of 200mg morphine pills, 2 unopened bottles of 8mg dillies, a full bottle of OC 80's and literally hundreds of odd pills (hydromorphone/oxy/morphine) scattered in my binder
. Also benzo's and amps (pretty much every abuseable pharm). I started using opiates and drugs a year ago in the summer. I am not physically addicted, but, like you, I do enjoy my opiates (specifically oxy). For me its not so much a feinding but more like, "I'm bored, it'd be more fun with oxy." The other reason I'd use is for stress so I was using a lot at exam time. But the majority of the time I was using just as a "What the hell, why not."
DO NOT DO THIS!!! I find if I use for 3 days in a row or more I start to get lacrimation and mild depression. Only lasts a day if I stop but still, this is what prevents me from abusing. I really hate the lacrimation because I'm an athletic, manly looking guy but it makes me cry like a baby over the most irrational things.
I live at school during the year but come home every 2 weeks or so for the weekend. I NEVER bring the drugs back (except weed
) so when I'm at home I am never using opiates and so its only a special occasion kind of thing. I was starting to fall into a cycle near the end of the school year where I was using 1x a day, 6-7x a week. I would get high in the early afternoon or morning and by dinner the high was gone (snorting). I told myself that it was out of my system and it was like I had never done the drug. I know this is incorrect but its amazing how opiates twist logic. Luckily I finished the school year before I became physically addicted. I did end up getting lacrimation for a few days and a little bit of depression but a few days later and I was back to myself. I am now back at school doing a summer course but am in control of my use again.
What I tell myself, and you should use this too, is that opiates are a special treat and should be kept that way. When you use every day it is no longer special (habituation) and you see noticeably less effects. If you want a good high, keep it to once every few days (or longer) and never use more than your standard amount (20mg oxy for me now).
If I can't get really high off of 20 mg oxy or equivalent for other drugs, I'm going to put it down for a few days and give it a rest. I make sure I feel extreme warmth, a rush, and a euphoric high that lasts at least 3 hours. If I use 2+ days in a row I don't feel this so this is how I space.
Luckily for you there isn't a near endless supply of drugs under your bed so just make sure to space it out. If you never get a solid connect I think you will be fine but its a rocky road if you choose to follow it. I almost slipped off the path and don't want to see you do it too.
I battled a 6 year addiction to opiates.
I got clean a year ago, and now.. That I learned self control have been able to take an opiate (oral) here and there and not think twice about doin it again.
I won't touch them for a while (few weeks) because I know if I do them close together, I'm done for.
I also cut out many of my connections so I wouldnt be able to call them when I had a bad day.
This will be a life long struggle, Opiates always come to mind and they always will
The only reason I got off, and stayed off is because I detoxed myself without the aid fo a doctor I was on 300mg morphine (3 100mg ABG's) 240mg OC a day and 80mg hydrocodone a day
For 6 years
And on top of that I'd do heroin and fentanyl and whatever opiate i could find
I detoxed myself by weening myself off and after 4 days i went cold turkey
It was a 3 month struggle coming off those pills, extreme pain, insomnia, terriable sweats and headaches and much more.
Detoxing the hard way, is the only way.
Don't EVER touch methadone or suboxone, you'll never be the same person
I feel like a new person now, I would never trade that to be a slave to those drugs again.
I got clean a year ago, and now.. That I learned self control have been able to take an opiate (oral) here and there and not think twice about doin it again.
I won't touch them for a while (few weeks) because I know if I do them close together, I'm done for.
I also cut out many of my connections so I wouldnt be able to call them when I had a bad day.
This will be a life long struggle, Opiates always come to mind and they always will
The only reason I got off, and stayed off is because I detoxed myself without the aid fo a doctor I was on 300mg morphine (3 100mg ABG's) 240mg OC a day and 80mg hydrocodone a day
For 6 years
And on top of that I'd do heroin and fentanyl and whatever opiate i could find
I detoxed myself by weening myself off and after 4 days i went cold turkey
It was a 3 month struggle coming off those pills, extreme pain, insomnia, terriable sweats and headaches and much more.
Detoxing the hard way, is the only way.
Don't EVER touch methadone or suboxone, you'll never be the same person
I feel like a new person now, I would never trade that to be a slave to those drugs again.
Alright so this is what I'm doing...
I took my last 8 percs. Was very intense... Now that I'm out of everything I'm going to stop looking around for the stuff. But I know deep down if a friend offers, I'll end up buying. Unless its hydro 5's...
But I will do my best to not go around looking for a month or so. You guys were right, I love the feeling so much I gave myself a mental addiction. I'm just lucky I never got attached enough to get physical addiction symptoms.
Again thank you all for your input - stay safe.
I took my last 8 percs. Was very intense... Now that I'm out of everything I'm going to stop looking around for the stuff. But I know deep down if a friend offers, I'll end up buying. Unless its hydro 5's...
But I will do my best to not go around looking for a month or so. You guys were right, I love the feeling so much I gave myself a mental addiction. I'm just lucky I never got attached enough to get physical addiction symptoms.
Again thank you all for your input - stay safe.
Just wanted to apologize for my last post here. Didn't mean to try to convince you that you're addicted or anything, sometimes its just best to realize that you're addicted, but only IF you really are. Only you can tell if you're addicted though. Either way good luck, just try to keep in mind what you're goal is if temptation comes knocking.
Well I mean it's like this; I have the pills and i'll take 5. After I take them I'll tell myself "Alright, I took them today. So I'll wait about 3 days or so and then take more."
Then its the next day and I'll start thinking "Well... I have 20 left. So if I take 5 right now, its not that big a deal since I'll have 15 more and I'll space those out."
And every day its the same thing. I'll just tell myself I'll save the next ones.
That's basically addiction, or damn close to it. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the opiates. You don't want to go down the (dark) road many of us have journeyed.
True... And I was just thinking man I wish I had some more. It hasnt even been 8 hours since I took the damn pills and I am already wanting more (which of course I don't have). I need to stop them. I'll stop for a couple months... But maybe I should just try to stop all together. I seem to get addicted to these things pretty easily.
Violenza666
Bluelighter
That is how it started with me.. I always had the pills around... enjoyed the mental escape and feeling good.. had alot of bullshit going on.. it was fucking non stop... so I stayed high for close to a year... always had a steady supply. Since I had them I took them.. I also have an addictive personality.
It might be best for you to only get them a right when you want them... that way you dont develop a daily habit..
It might be best for you to only get them a right when you want them... that way you dont develop a daily habit..
Naggers
Bluelighter
I like to think I have a very un-addictive personality. Also, the hassle of doing a CWE every time I want opiates puts me off, as I always do it properly so it takes 3/4 hours to prepare. Like you suggested OP, I just say to myself "only once a week" on saturdays or sundays (I think having a specific day for it helps too). If I've had a particularly shitty day I might do it more often, but always go back to once a week.
But then again, this is doing a CWE each time... I'd like to think that even if I could just drop some pills and get high then I'd still be able to keep a strong resolve, but the truth is this would probably be a completely different post if that were the case.
But then again, this is doing a CWE each time... I'd like to think that even if I could just drop some pills and get high then I'd still be able to keep a strong resolve, but the truth is this would probably be a completely different post if that were the case.
John_Burrows
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
How do I resist what?
I'm sorry, I usually rely on the TITLE OF THE FUCKING THREAD to give me the general gist of it. Like "how do you resist taking opiates?"
This way future users looking for info on the same subject can ACTUALLY FIND IT.
No offense, it just really pisses me off when attention seeking idiots purposely name their thread something vague in the hopes it will " trick" people into reading it.
Ah, that felt good. Please edit your thread title or else there will be... Trouble.
I'm sorry, I usually rely on the TITLE OF THE FUCKING THREAD to give me the general gist of it. Like "how do you resist taking opiates?"
This way future users looking for info on the same subject can ACTUALLY FIND IT.
No offense, it just really pisses me off when attention seeking idiots purposely name their thread something vague in the hopes it will " trick" people into reading it.
Ah, that felt good. Please edit your thread title or else there will be... Trouble.
AfterGlow
Bluelighter
If you find that you cannot control yourself when you are in possession of drugs, the best thing to do is follow a plan that limits your access to the drugs so you don't find yourself in a compromising situation.
If I had an unlimited supply of benzos, I would have a difficult time controlling myself. But they do help me with anxiety. So when my mind is sane and I visit my psych doctor, I'm careful to only ask for a limited supply that won't get me in too much trouble unless I take a months worth in a day or two. And if I do eat them all in a few days, then I'm out until I can get a refill and I get used to living without them again.
If I had an unlimited supply of benzos, I would have a difficult time controlling myself. But they do help me with anxiety. So when my mind is sane and I visit my psych doctor, I'm careful to only ask for a limited supply that won't get me in too much trouble unless I take a months worth in a day or two. And if I do eat them all in a few days, then I'm out until I can get a refill and I get used to living without them again.
cilosyb
Bluelighter
This point bears serious consideration if you use opiates recreationally. I used opiates for years without anything more serious than an extremely mild tolerance on a couple of occassions, and part of the reason for this is because in the extensive research I did on using opiates, and later my own experiences, I learned that opiates indeed have an insidious, subtle way of twisting logic.
It goes like this:
"Today I feel ______, therefore I should take opiates."
"Today, ______ happened, which makes it a unique occassion to partake in the pleasures of opiate drugs."
"I have nothing going on today, why not enhance it with some opiates."
"I won't be able to find/take opiates anytime soon, so I can afford to increase my use or the frequency thereof until my supply runs out."
Your mind will churn this shit out constantly and you won't even realize where the thoughts are coming from. I knew to watch out for this, and I would find it entertaining to "hear" the justifications my mind would come up with for using opiates outside of the strict guidelines I'd set for myself. I wasn't consciously thinking these thoughts, but they were very real, and unless you discredit them they will absolutely get the best of you. I really believe that this is where addiction starts. Call me weird but I never had any problems with opiates, and today I have no compulsion to seek them out whatsoever.
It did not have to be about opiates. It could be any drug regardless. If you have a hard time resisiting benzos or adderall. Whatever it may be.
And how does my title imply I am looking for attention?
Mr Blonde
Bluelighter
I cannot resist at all. I find myself constantly drawn to states of altered consciousness, and when I can't get to them boy do I crave them... oh yes I do...