He is a little concerned about the house. Its rather old and his oldest brother had lived there before and said he had paranormal stuff happen and Sean said he had heard stuff. I'm very interested in the paranormal but I don't want to be encountering it in a place where I "live", I want to be able to leave when I get scared or feel in danger ya know.
So he wants me to get some bound sage and do some Native American smugging to bless and cleanse the house. I'm thinking about also putting salt in the corners of his room as well as saying some christian prayers and scriptures and having him assert himself and myself over any spirits that might be present. I know I sound a little crazy but better safe than sorry. Plus there has been a lot of remodeling. They gutted the house and that can upset ppl that haven't passed o because they don't like you changing their home. If anyone has any suggestions on how to do this or whatever I would be very open to it.
Liek I said Sean got a new look and shaved a bit. He doesn't even look anywhere close to 27. I'll have to post pictures.
I guess perhaps part of the reason I've been so happy is because I've been on Tramadol all day. I love that stuff , although I'm not getting the nodding high I want. I had to switch to the Fioricet this evening because I already had 600mg. I do that a lot though and never had a problem. I don't think I really ever had a problem with it, I just really like it. I'm pretty sensitive to chemical releases in my brain so its f'ing wonderful. Sean isn't too keen on it but he says as long as it doesn't get out of control...whatever that is really. Plus for some reason he has a hard time telling when I'm high, most other people can spot it a mile away people I won't shut up, stim come up, my pupils get really little, my eyes bug out a bit and when the opiate effect kicks in the way I like it my eyes try to look at the back of my skull and I nod out.
That reminds me. I got pulled over the other day because I was weaving on the road again. I hadn't slept in 48 hours because I had forgotten about homework. I just told the officer that I had to turn into my midterm paper that I had stayed up working on. He understood and just said turn it in and then get some sleep. I did but then I slept through my next class.
Sucks, becuase I WAS there. Sean says I never get enough sleep which is true. I woke up to some guy in my face, apparently they were concerned because I was very difficult to wake up and they though something was wrong with me... scary huh?
I'll be talking to the Dr. about bumping up my Ambien to 20mg. I have done it already but its just better to get a supply to last ya know. I just know that's how much I need to sleep through the night and not wake up.
right now I'm trying to get healthier and giving work and school more priority. Sean can be a bit lazy, especially now that he is on voluntary unemployment and not working (I really hope he keeps his word and puts his time to good use. He should get his driver's licence back in June if he completes everything) which means I don't go to work or school which isn't cool. I really need to be responsible to do that. And he tries to be logical and get me to do that even when I'm being illogical.
I know I'm being a little BPD because right now he is on a pedestal and can do no wrong and once he does I'm going to get pissed and knock him off it, but at least I know that is the cycle of things, so at least I'm aware.
Sean knows tanning makes me feel better about my body so he encourages it. MY my stomach tans pretty well but my legs don't so much. Pictures? My mom said its been years since I've been this tan. eat your heart out guys Lol j.k but its nice to have some self confidence. He helps. Although it kinda sucks that my make-up looks too light and I don't wanna spend the money to get new...
I think we are both just doing better in our relationship and working on it. I feel like he is opening up to me more emotionally and is more comfortable with knowing how I feel. I'm also learning to pick my battles that little things aren't worth the fight, I'm very emotional and it often can be draining and end in tears. But I think its really helping. Plus I'm appreciating him more of course, eye opening. And actually with me being so lovey, its not seeming to bother him. I'm sure if I was like that ALL the time it would get a little much but he likes to see me happy. But I feel that we are more connected communicating and understanding better, opening up about things...I can't believe its only been 3 months. When I think that it can't get better, he can't say something sweeter, show he loves me more or I could fall for him more it happens. Also, I've come to REALLY trust him. Trust that he isn't going to leave me, he isn't going to give up on me. He will be with me through thick and thin and I have NEVER had that before. Its is a HIGE step for me.
Thats about it I think, Freaking raving about Sean. 
So he wants me to get some bound sage and do some Native American smugging to bless and cleanse the house. I'm thinking about also putting salt in the corners of his room as well as saying some christian prayers and scriptures and having him assert himself and myself over any spirits that might be present. I know I sound a little crazy but better safe than sorry. Plus there has been a lot of remodeling. They gutted the house and that can upset ppl that haven't passed o because they don't like you changing their home. If anyone has any suggestions on how to do this or whatever I would be very open to it.
Liek I said Sean got a new look and shaved a bit. He doesn't even look anywhere close to 27. I'll have to post pictures.
I guess perhaps part of the reason I've been so happy is because I've been on Tramadol all day. I love that stuff , although I'm not getting the nodding high I want. I had to switch to the Fioricet this evening because I already had 600mg. I do that a lot though and never had a problem. I don't think I really ever had a problem with it, I just really like it. I'm pretty sensitive to chemical releases in my brain so its f'ing wonderful. Sean isn't too keen on it but he says as long as it doesn't get out of control...whatever that is really. Plus for some reason he has a hard time telling when I'm high, most other people can spot it a mile away people I won't shut up, stim come up, my pupils get really little, my eyes bug out a bit and when the opiate effect kicks in the way I like it my eyes try to look at the back of my skull and I nod out.
That reminds me. I got pulled over the other day because I was weaving on the road again. I hadn't slept in 48 hours because I had forgotten about homework. I just told the officer that I had to turn into my midterm paper that I had stayed up working on. He understood and just said turn it in and then get some sleep. I did but then I slept through my next class.
Sucks, becuase I WAS there. Sean says I never get enough sleep which is true. I woke up to some guy in my face, apparently they were concerned because I was very difficult to wake up and they though something was wrong with me... scary huh?I'll be talking to the Dr. about bumping up my Ambien to 20mg. I have done it already but its just better to get a supply to last ya know. I just know that's how much I need to sleep through the night and not wake up.
right now I'm trying to get healthier and giving work and school more priority. Sean can be a bit lazy, especially now that he is on voluntary unemployment and not working (I really hope he keeps his word and puts his time to good use. He should get his driver's licence back in June if he completes everything) which means I don't go to work or school which isn't cool. I really need to be responsible to do that. And he tries to be logical and get me to do that even when I'm being illogical.
I know I'm being a little BPD because right now he is on a pedestal and can do no wrong and once he does I'm going to get pissed and knock him off it, but at least I know that is the cycle of things, so at least I'm aware.
Sean knows tanning makes me feel better about my body so he encourages it. MY my stomach tans pretty well but my legs don't so much. Pictures? My mom said its been years since I've been this tan. eat your heart out guys Lol j.k but its nice to have some self confidence. He helps. Although it kinda sucks that my make-up looks too light and I don't wanna spend the money to get new...
I think we are both just doing better in our relationship and working on it. I feel like he is opening up to me more emotionally and is more comfortable with knowing how I feel. I'm also learning to pick my battles that little things aren't worth the fight, I'm very emotional and it often can be draining and end in tears. But I think its really helping. Plus I'm appreciating him more of course, eye opening. And actually with me being so lovey, its not seeming to bother him. I'm sure if I was like that ALL the time it would get a little much but he likes to see me happy. But I feel that we are more connected communicating and understanding better, opening up about things...I can't believe its only been 3 months. When I think that it can't get better, he can't say something sweeter, show he loves me more or I could fall for him more it happens. Also, I've come to REALLY trust him. Trust that he isn't going to leave me, he isn't going to give up on me. He will be with me through thick and thin and I have NEVER had that before. Its is a HIGE step for me.
Thats about it I think, Freaking raving about Sean.