TDS So far yet, So close

[hondarider1816]

So I posted a thread here last night. Ex Girlfriend problems pointing me to the brink of collapse.

Ive switched from 9 Oxycontin/day legally to smoking heroin ever since I was cutoff cold turkey and no taper (threw my medical insurance). Now im smoking 4 grams/day. I dont see an end in sight, I went to a local methadoneclinic for a 21 day detox. Signed up and they wouldnt believe my tolerance. Got my dose, and was told we will make you just enough to be comfortable. After 3 days of adjustments I was told they cant raise it anymore even with a 129 beat/min. heart rate sitting down.
I couldn't stand the acid feeling in my viens, insomnia, leg kicking,vomiting, etc. Went back to dope, and never returned.

So now im a 23 year old, 135lb (been this weight for years), 6' 2" loser thats about to get my ex (that tells me she loves me) swept from under my feet by her coworker.

I'm on the edge here, need help...

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey honda.. sorry you find yourself in this way!.. allot of us found ourselves in your situation.. I detoxed successfully from 150 mgpd methadone + 260 mgpd roxy + 6 mgpd xanax, and I feel better now than I EVER HAVE< REALLy not playing with you.. so dont loose hope this is totally possible.. not getting on the methadone may be a huge blessing in disguise as its crazy long half life makes it one of the if not the worst opiat to withdraw from.. what dose of methadone did they have you on?

 

[herbavore]

There is a lot of good advice in your other thread about the gf problem so I will just address the other things going on. Getting off heroin and getting solid without that monkey on your back should be your main goal right now. The longer you stay on it, the more you kick the can down the road. Right now, every single thing in your life feels out of control and that is because it is: both with heroin and your gf you have given control of your emotions and happiness to external forces. There is no other way to heal than to accept that you are the only one that can do it. You have to have faith that there is peace on the other side of the suffering. Where to find that faith in yourself is the key question.

 

[neversickanymore]

The Drs that put you on that dose and then cut you cold turkey should have thier lisceses srtipped IMO.. But there are drugs that will help you get off this for real.. clonidine, a drug for restless legs syndrome are the ones that I would explore.. clonidine probably made the biggest difference for me.. you can do this so dont loose hope.. instead of increasing your dose, as you have probably figured out that it really wont do much good and will just deepen the whole you are in, so work your way back down.. taper down, wait an extra hour when you want to redose and only redose 3/4 of what you normally would. continue on this until you are comfortable, usually about five days, then repeat.. get your self down to about a half gram or two bags a day.. and by that time you should have time to see a physician and get scrips for the other drugs that will aid you in this.. remember that even if you decide to break a taper for one dose its shot and you will be practically starting over.. It really does feel amazing to be clean of the ball and chain of opiates, look forward to you joining some of here Also consider having your testosterone checked as it can fall really low with heavy opiate use and adversely effect your mood, fatigue, sex life, etc. since you are active with a ladie you may want to consider am intramuscular inj as opposed to the gell.. but there are side effects so please remember to seriously take these into consideration by talking with them thoroughly with your dr.. and maybe switch drs as the ones that cut you cold t seem like assclowns to me.. hang in there