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so confused

DXMkid420

DXMkid420

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
976
Location
in your medicine cabinent
okay, so on friday i went with my gf and 2 of my friends to a school football game. before it started, me and my 2 friends blazed and i was REALLY high, like retarded high. i couldnt even buy my ticket, she had to get it for me. and the 100000000000000000 cops around didnt help things either. well i could tell she was annoyed that i was high, but i made up for it that night. so the next day(saturday) me and her went to the zoo, had a really nice time. all was good or so i thought.

lastnight i get a text from her mom saying i cant see her anymore because she saw a text that one of her friends sent her about me bieng high at the game. so i get a call from my gf and she was crying, and i said how can i fix this, so she started to tell me, then out of the blue she says..... i dont want you to fix it. i said fine and we got off the phone. so im obviously very sad as i love her with all my heart and now shes gone, so what do i do? i get high, what a suprise. then about 20 mins later she texts me this " i want to be with you, i want you to be sober, you know how i feel about you and how much you mean to me. i want you to do this because you want to be with me. i love you so much, i really care about you, i dont want to have to worry about something happening to you because of drugs.just please do this because you actually care about me. the only time i can talk to you is after school on myspace and i dont know the next time i will be able to see you. but know that i love you so much and thats not gonna change. im sorry this had to happen. i love you babe".

what do i do?!
 
If it comes to changing a habit, changing yourself, you do it for you. Not for someone else. I've been there..
 
DXMkid-
I'l just give u my two cent worth on the situation but i'm not arrogantly claiming to understand everything-as I obviously cant!
It seems u've been landed a bombshell and you dont know how/where the hell it came from?! However, there must have been some tension brewing for some time that you have been unaware of?
Your girlfriend sounds like she's embarassed about your using and feels threatened by it- plain and simple! Now her parents are putting her under pressure to boot and she's feeling even more ashamed, her loyalties to herself, you and her parents are divided and she can't juggle it all!
I get the impression she really doesnt trust you to behave tactfully and even though she really really cares about you she just doesnt feel your emotionally mature enough to understand her situation and just want to get high without looking at the consequences either for her or for yourself. Its a pity that you and her cant discuss it in more depth and honestly vent what you both feel.

Really dont mean to be nasty saying that and am NOT putting you down but there is no point bullshitting you- thats, as a female, how I interpret her situation. I could be wrong however.
So if there was anyway you could arrange to meet her and if both of you could give each other enough space and respect, to each state your case about how you feel/what your thinking ,without it getting into too much emotional drama you might be able to get some closure on whats goin on-I hope! Just give a little bit of cooling off time, dont be too intense or too detached, stick to txt'ng until u both feel relaxed enough to meet and discuss the situation and what you both want to do long term.
Hope this helps somewhat! ;)
 
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend, but it's important to understand how hard it can be to care about somebody and see them abuse drugs. You mentioned in another thread the extend of your use, which is quite heavy. It may be very painful for her to deal with, I'm sure she wants you to be healthy and happy.

If drug use is the only issue that caused problems in your relationship, then you'll need to seriously evaluate whether you want to keep using them the way that you are. It's not a matter of you being "bad" or doing something "wrong", but it seems like the only way things will ever be able to get fixed up between you two is if you are not using drugs.

Are you willing to change for another person? You certainly are not obligated to, but if your priority is to make things work, then that seems like it will be the only way.
 
^ in these scenarios it is usually best to shit or get off the pot so to speak.

I didn't (probably when I was a little older than you) and regret it to this day, honestly. I imagine I wouldn't be on bluelight had I so chosen if you get my drift.

But, then again, your drug use is a part of you, and you have to be honest about how malleable a a part of you it is. It's pretty integral to me, and I don't think it would've been fair for me to make a likely doomed effort to change that part of myself and put it all on someone else, so to speak, in terms of my motivations and sustinance towards that goal.

It's a really awful emotional position to be in.

But it is a very real, yes or no decision it seems.
 
well 90% of my brain is saying stop, because its not worth losing her, but the other 10% just wont let me. all i think about is drugs all day until the second i fall asleep. its just such a hard decision
 
Hey DXMkid, only YOU can really answer your question. You will know in your heart and in your head what you should do. If you truly love this girl and can see a long-lasting future together with her, then you should make the necessary sacrifices to make it happen <3
 
DXMkid420 said:
well 90% of my brain is saying stop, because its not worth losing her, but the other 10% just wont let me. all i think about is drugs all day until the second i fall asleep. its just such a hard decision
Click to expand...


Reread this.


you sound young and sound like you could easily fall into drug abuse. Pot really isn't so bad when not abused. Like all drugs.... Being young and influenced by parents sucks. you'll grow up and look back on this like ?!?!?!?!!!!

Love sticks though huh... I've been in pretty much your same situation.
 
organicmusic said:
Reread this.


you sound young and sound like you could easily fall into drug abuse. Pot really isn't so bad when not abused. Like all drugs.... Being young and influenced by parents sucks. you'll grow up and look back on this like ?!?!?!?!!!!

Love sticks though huh... I've been in pretty much your same situation.
Click to expand...

I believe the OP uses DXM on a daily basis in addition to other drugs as well. I don't say this to criticize but to highlight the fact that this is already a significant issue, independent of the current relationship problems.

DXMkid, what are the arguments in your mind? Do you think your drug use is a positive addition to your life, or do you feel overwhelmed at the idea of giving it up? Do you think you can't live without them?
 
Does she use drugs? As a semi-non-drug user, it annoys the shit out of me when the person I'm dating can't cut the crap for at least long enough to go out. It really is annoying, but I've also realized that my rants won't do anything. People like me are better off dating someone else. I have a feeling from your posts that the drugs are too important...more important than this girl. It is sad, because I've experienced it and read it so many times in this forum. Until you WANT to quit, this girls rants and raves won't do anything to change you, and if it bothers her, I think she is better off breaking it off with you. The roller coaster with drug users who want to change for someone else is just not worth it.
 
I have 2 questions:
How old are you? And how long have you and your girlfriend been together?

If you're not comfortable answering those questions you certainly don't have to.
 
im only 17. but i have been in other realationships before and none of them have felt like this. and we have liked eachother for 2 years but we just started dating again like 6 months ago
 
You're young man, just starting your "real" life

Life will keep on going, if you REALLY loved this girl with all your heart you'd quit using and stay with her. Its that simple...

But that is a very hard decision to make at 17, or 50........


Do whats in your heart, but it seems to me that things won't work out in the end if you want my honest opinion

You've got a LOT of living to do left, try to make it the best you can
 
It sounds like he's still in high school or maybe beginning college when he said "went to a school football game" So young enough to be distressed that his girlfriends mama is going through her texts. But hopefully mature enough to make a decision which is most important- the drugs or the girl. And the girl may not be able to give him another chance, even if she wants to because of the parents. Seems pretty much over to me because if they want to get together again, it will always be on the sneak. That's not a good situation to be in for either of them. I could be wrong though. ~theresa
 
^^^^^^^


Bluelight is filled with so many positive and amazing people it makes me smile.

Free therapy at bluelight, come one come all
 
i honestly dont know. i just wish i could have both. but of course life dsnt work like that. i did about a gram of coke lastnight, and the only thing that was going through my mind was "if i cant have drugs, just kill yourself. because lifes not worth living without drugs." that just kept reapeting in my head all night. i just miss her. i truely feel like im loosing it
 
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