Filing this one under Misogyny.
Recently, I mentioned that my gf, A, has been demanding my computer passwords. We don't share computers. She has hers set up the way she wants it and mine is set up the way I want mine. And I want privacy, and I respect her privacy. I don't want someone snooping around in my browser history, my documents, papers, audios, videos, pictures, and other personal files. I set passwrods on my computers -- they are to login once the computer is booted, to check my email, access acounts, acces files and documents, etc.
So, what did my gf do last night? Around 11pm, my gf A__ took a shower and went to bed. Then I took a shower. But I forgot to logout of my computer before I took a shower -- it logs out automatically within 15 mintues or so and locks the screen. But, apparently while i was in the shower, A got out of bed -- she wsa only pretending to sleep, then she went to my computer before it locked and started goig n through my broswer history. --I dont delete the history and until now, I havent' seen a need to LOCK DOWN my computer when it's goign to be out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. -- i didn' thtink she was this disrespectful of my wish for privacy. THen she jumped back into bed before i got out ot the shower and, again, pretended to be asleep when I got out of the bathroom. That's the only time between my shower and this morning that she would have had access to my computer.
I have told her before that snooping won't be tolerated. I value privacy. I know she did this because of waht she did this morning. She described to me a picture that was in one of the threads in the Lounge section of bluelight. -- In that thread, someone had uploaded a nude picture and posted it. A described that picture of the girl in such detail, though I had only glanced at it and not given it mucyh attention, that I knew immediately waht she had seen. She went on adn on about this girl who she has, in her mind, become my secret internet girlfriend. Then she ranted about how she hates porn and how evil she thinks it it and she'll leave me if she finds me looking at it. I dont' have anything against any legal kind of pornography. In fact, I like porn sometimes adn see no harm in it. (ON the other hand, my gf likes plenty of things which I hate, like, for example, cupcakes. And television.) So, not only that, but now, she has seen bluelight and might ahv figured out what it is and that I have an account. That's another thing that's none of her business. I dont' think she hasn't messed with the password, but I think I might ask an admin to nuke my account-- to delete all of my posts and blog entries. I have written of some personal experiences on bluelight which I don't mind sharing in an anonymous forum, but I don't want certain peopel I know in real life learning about the. Or even my participation in a forum of this nature, even though it is harm-reduction. People take things the wrong way. Some peopel even use things against you.
Now I don't know what to do. I told her how I feel -- I feel wronged and violated. Her response was that she has the right to snoop on me and will continue doing it.
What just happened to me reminds me of a story I recently read in a Relationships Advice column. It was about some nosy girlfriend who wsa snooping on her x-bf. She admitted to going through his browser and found that he had an account on a gay sex meeting site. His profile pic was a photo of his penis. Then she read his profile. It was full of graphic descriptions of the sexual practices he was into. Nothing really bizarre or weird. But I can imagine that reading this would horrify a young and relatively sheltered girl, especially when her boyfriend is the one doing it. For exapmle, in it, she said that he said specifically that he likes to suck penises. I think he was into "bare-backing" as well. Also in his account were forum exchanges with other gay or bi- men about meetings he was having for sex. Prior to this, she had no idea he was into men. She claims she was so shocked that she puked while reading it! Whether the greatest source of the shock is that he was cheating on her or that it was with men in high-risk situations, she didnt' say, but it sounded like the latter. And now she is freaking out and worried that she has an STD because she saw that the dates of the account were from the time they were still together.
That story gives me some ideas....
Recently, I mentioned that my gf, A, has been demanding my computer passwords. We don't share computers. She has hers set up the way she wants it and mine is set up the way I want mine. And I want privacy, and I respect her privacy. I don't want someone snooping around in my browser history, my documents, papers, audios, videos, pictures, and other personal files. I set passwrods on my computers -- they are to login once the computer is booted, to check my email, access acounts, acces files and documents, etc.
So, what did my gf do last night? Around 11pm, my gf A__ took a shower and went to bed. Then I took a shower. But I forgot to logout of my computer before I took a shower -- it logs out automatically within 15 mintues or so and locks the screen. But, apparently while i was in the shower, A got out of bed -- she wsa only pretending to sleep, then she went to my computer before it locked and started goig n through my broswer history. --I dont delete the history and until now, I havent' seen a need to LOCK DOWN my computer when it's goign to be out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. -- i didn' thtink she was this disrespectful of my wish for privacy. THen she jumped back into bed before i got out ot the shower and, again, pretended to be asleep when I got out of the bathroom. That's the only time between my shower and this morning that she would have had access to my computer.
I have told her before that snooping won't be tolerated. I value privacy. I know she did this because of waht she did this morning. She described to me a picture that was in one of the threads in the Lounge section of bluelight. -- In that thread, someone had uploaded a nude picture and posted it. A described that picture of the girl in such detail, though I had only glanced at it and not given it mucyh attention, that I knew immediately waht she had seen. She went on adn on about this girl who she has, in her mind, become my secret internet girlfriend. Then she ranted about how she hates porn and how evil she thinks it it and she'll leave me if she finds me looking at it. I dont' have anything against any legal kind of pornography. In fact, I like porn sometimes adn see no harm in it. (ON the other hand, my gf likes plenty of things which I hate, like, for example, cupcakes. And television.) So, not only that, but now, she has seen bluelight and might ahv figured out what it is and that I have an account. That's another thing that's none of her business. I dont' think she hasn't messed with the password, but I think I might ask an admin to nuke my account-- to delete all of my posts and blog entries. I have written of some personal experiences on bluelight which I don't mind sharing in an anonymous forum, but I don't want certain peopel I know in real life learning about the. Or even my participation in a forum of this nature, even though it is harm-reduction. People take things the wrong way. Some peopel even use things against you.
Now I don't know what to do. I told her how I feel -- I feel wronged and violated. Her response was that she has the right to snoop on me and will continue doing it.
What just happened to me reminds me of a story I recently read in a Relationships Advice column. It was about some nosy girlfriend who wsa snooping on her x-bf. She admitted to going through his browser and found that he had an account on a gay sex meeting site. His profile pic was a photo of his penis. Then she read his profile. It was full of graphic descriptions of the sexual practices he was into. Nothing really bizarre or weird. But I can imagine that reading this would horrify a young and relatively sheltered girl, especially when her boyfriend is the one doing it. For exapmle, in it, she said that he said specifically that he likes to suck penises. I think he was into "bare-backing" as well. Also in his account were forum exchanges with other gay or bi- men about meetings he was having for sex. Prior to this, she had no idea he was into men. She claims she was so shocked that she puked while reading it! Whether the greatest source of the shock is that he was cheating on her or that it was with men in high-risk situations, she didnt' say, but it sounded like the latter. And now she is freaking out and worried that she has an STD because she saw that the dates of the account were from the time they were still together.
That story gives me some ideas....
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
