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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Snoo V7 - ah spring, has sprung, a SNOO! (bless you).

Take the money. Love's great in books, films, songs and poetry, but it's a massive pain in the arse in real life.

Money doesn't almost exclusively end in tears and bitterness, though sure, it can help them manifest.

Take the money.
 
It has nothing to do with luck summer, but it does require hard work. The harder you work while you are young and child free, the less you have to work when you are older. Bust your arse now, whether its at university or starting up a business then reap the rewards as you succeed. Obviously you need to choose your vocation wisely. If you decide to study medicine then expect to work 70-80 hrs a week you'll struggle for quality family life. But this is an extreme example.

Most people I know were well set up with a house and saving by the time they reached 30, so it was easy to then have couple of kids without too much financial strain. The ones who popped out kids in their early twenties still struggle to this day to make ends meet. You only have to look at the poor areas where very few parents have any decent education, and job opportunities are slim to see that "time with the kids" isn't the be all and end all of parenting.

I don't know where you get this idea that the best life is spending time with your kids 24/7. Birth to toddler is fun, but not really memory worthy. By the time they reach 6 years old they have to go to school all day, so what do you do then? The only friends I know who don't work conventional 8-5 jobs live on communes and bust their arse literally to put food on the table. There is no time for plaiting hair or kicking a ball when you have to toil the land to grow crops.

It's each to their own, but it seems you are looking for any reason to drop out. It's your life, but I honestly see no advantage to choosing to become a parent without some sort of future proofing your finances.
 
Hard work plus a bit of luck I would say. All you ever seem to hear about nowadays is how even people with degrees are struggling to get jobs. That plus many other things kinda makes me think I'd be better off spending a few years getting actual work experience rather than pissing around doing something that I really dislike and is also stopping me from doing what I do enjoy and being happy - all for a qualification that means very little anyway.

In all honesty I'm not looking for any kind of excuse for leaving or trying to justify it to anyone because I'm already certain what I want and it only really matters to me. I only went to uni to begin with as I was never made to feel like there was another viable option and now I've done over a year I'm more convinced than ever it isn't right for me.

I think you misunderstood me though in regards to thinking I'm naive enough not to have any kind of plan at all. Starting my own business has always been something that sounds much more up my street and something I've been thinking about a lot recently. In fact it's probably what I will end up doing once I've had a year off uni to clear my head, make a bit of money and get some experience.

I do want to have kids young and I don't think that always has to be a struggle - again, it's down to hard work and good planning but people do manage so I don't see how I'd be different. You can make anything work if you want it enough.

I think that as long as you want the kid in the first place that even if you're only able to give it the very basics in terms of monetary possessions then that kid will still be 1000x better off and happier than one who has rich parents but gets zero attention from them. I don't want to spend time with my kids 24/7 either, I still want to have my own life but I want the flexibility of being able to be there for them when they need me and see all the important parts of their life rather than being bored off my tits doing a job I hate just because it's slightly better money and not having that choice.

I do see all your points otw and thanks but this is something I've thought about an awful lot and certainly not a decision I'll take lightly. It is nice though because until a few months ago I felt completely directionless in life but now I actually feel so sure about stuff and it is refreshing. Whether it all happens or not at least I know what to aim for now :)
 
I tend to agree with OTW here, on some points anyway.

In hindsight, I had kids to young. I obviously wouldn't change any of it now but as he said, I've been playing catch up ever since.

I earn decent money and the strain of setting up a home and raising kids simultaneously is hard. I've no idea how anyone does it on low wages. Granted, I am shit with money and do spend it on the wrong things. Something I aim the change this year.

That's not to say it can't be done, it does make it harder though.
 
Starting my own business has always been something that sounds much more up my street and something I've been thinking about a lot recently. In fact it's probably what I will end up doing once I've had a year off uni to clear my head, make a bit of money and get some experience.

I have heard this exact same reason for leaving university by so many friends it is not funny. I only say this with concern because the vast majority do not make any thing of it other than bum around, take too many drugs and look back at 30 something, wishing they had kept studying. My wife being one of them. These people are not stupid, far from it actually. They are the reason I was able to do so well at university while pushing the limits of human endurance though. I realised that by simply showing up to an 8am lecture and handing in assignments on time, I would naturally float to the top half of the curve without much more effort.

I am hard on you because you strike me as someone who should use her gifts, not waste them. The trick is finding the right course. I understand if you are forced into say law and despite your intelligence, just doesn't fit your personality. No matter what your future business plans are, there surely is some sort of qualification that would benefit you. For no other reason that you could claim the expenses against your taxable income, you must find some sort of training while setting up your business. Even a basic business diploma would be worthwhile in the long run.

I graduated from a bachelor degree 20 years ago and have never stopped training. Not only does it keep your skills fresh, but you are forced to mingle with your peers on a regular basis. Sometimes this is nice if for no other reason but to walk away with more confidence that your competition are idiots and you are better than them ;)
 
Hard work plus a bit of luck I would say. All you ever seem to hear about nowadays is how even people with degrees are struggling to get jobs. That plus many other things kinda makes me think I'd be better off spending a few years getting actual work experience rather than pissing around doing something that I really dislike and is also stopping me from doing what I do enjoy and being happy - all for a qualification that means very little anyway.

In all honesty I'm not looking for any kind of excuse for leaving or trying to justify it to anyone because I'm already certain what I want and it only really matters to me. I only went to uni to begin with as I was never made to feel like there was another viable option and now I've done over a year I'm more convinced than ever it isn't right for me.

I think you misunderstood me though in regards to thinking I'm naive enough not to have any kind of plan at all. Starting my own business has always been something that sounds much more up my street and something I've been thinking about a lot recently. In fact it's probably what I will end up doing once I've had a year off uni to clear my head, make a bit of money and get some experience.

I do want to have kids young and I don't think that always has to be a struggle - again, it's down to hard work and good planning but people do manage so I don't see how I'd be different. You can make anything work if you want it enough.

I think that as long as you want the kid in the first place that even if you're only able to give it the very basics in terms of monetary possessions then that kid will still be 1000x better off and happier than one who has rich parents but gets zero attention from them. I don't want to spend time with my kids 24/7 either, I still want to have my own life but I want the flexibility of being able to be there for them when they need me and see all the important parts of their life rather than being bored off my tits doing a job I hate just because it's slightly better money and not having that choice.

I do see all your points otw and thanks but this is something I've thought about an awful lot and certainly not a decision I'll take lightly. It is nice though because until a few months ago I felt completely directionless in life but now I actually feel so sure about stuff and it is refreshing. Whether it all happens or not at least I know what to aim for now :)

The qualifications matter in £££s. Whenever you take them, it doesn't need to be straight your of school, actually that's a shit time to be doing them when you have a vigour for doing something else in life. You can go back - it'll cost more but you'll do them easier. I went to do an arts degree when I left school, dropped out and ended up doing graphic art until I met my 1st hubby when I was very young then went onto having my sons when I was 21 and 23. The 1st hubby turned out to be a cunt and I left him and re-entered education (business & economics degree) with the aim of making money. Inbetween all this I worked my arse off doing DTP (apple) / design work, graphic art and research - anything to make cash.

Hence I was a young single parent mum who was self employed for a long time whilst I studied.

I made the money and brought the boys up in a very good lifestyle. wouldn't swap it for the world - we kinda grew up together as I was youthful and full of energy to enjoy them. We are very close, they're great men now. I adore them.

I wouldn't change anything. I've certainly lived a "lot" of life and had plenty of great experiences. Was kind off men for a while, but hey ho I met my 2nd husband here and never looked back. I'm heading for 50 now and looking towards a new interesting stage in life. Very exciting %)

But yeh, get the qualification / profession at one point - it'll make the difference between poverty and comfort. My kids always has Clarks shoes and exotic hols lol ;)

Follow your heart - you're allowed to make mistakes, if you didn't you'd be a boring cunt xxx
 
And what about the many, many, people who have the qualifications yet still have to work minimum wage jobs? No Clarks shoes and exotic holidays for them. Just lots of debt.
 
And what about the many, many, people who have the qualifications yet still have to work minimum wage jobs? No Clarks shoes and exotic holidays for them. Just lots of debt.

If I was clever enough to know that and how to fix it I'd likely be running the country.
 
If I was clever enough to know that and how to fix it I'd likely be running the country.

Of course. The point I'm making is that uni and qualifications don't automatically result in success and living happily-ever-after. Four of my five best mates went to uni, one even has an MBA.

Only one of the above four earns more than 20k. He studied media and now makes video games for a living. (no, not Josh :))
 
Of course. The point I'm making is that uni and qualifications don't automatically result in success and living happily-ever-after. Four of my five best mates went to uni, one even has an MBA.

Only one of the above four earns more than 20k. He studied media and now makes video games for a living. (no, not Josh :))

Yeh of course it doesn't always work out like that - I'd agree qualifications aren't enough. There's those things like motivation, personality, confidence, being that bit different, innovative, creative - having a bit of get up and go.

We have graduate interns at work and fuck some of them need to be told how to boil a kettle and hold eye contact at a meeting :|

Of course its not easy for any of us. I did my time being a single mum working my arse of 24/7....tell me :\
 
Yeh of course it doesn't always work out like that - I'd agree qualifications aren't enough. There's those things like motivation, personality, confidence, being that bit different, innovative, creative - having a bit of get up and go.

All those things are desirable, sure, and they'll go a long way given the right breaks.

Just cast a glance at the UK's frightening social (im)mobility figures, though, and you may find that being born into an upper middle class family and attending the right school is far more important than any of the qualities listed above.

Meritocracy (in this country at least, and in many others) is a total sham. Which is not to say anybody should give up, but it can be very frustrating for some of the people I know who are sitting on two or more degrees and busting their fucking balls to succeed, only to come up against the same old obstacles that people used to come up against prior to that little postwar window of opportunity. Which slammed shut sometime between the eighties and nineties.
 
^
Aye Sammy, you are onto something. Maybe I was just lucky - I was one of Thatchers children :o

...hate admitting that, but yeh at that time I kinda "slipped through" the net...
 
I wasn't going to directly suggest that, obviously. :D

But yeah, I was kinda thinking you just about got there in time. In fact, when I was at (now-demolished comprehensive) school, the myth was still strong enough for me to apply for the kind of degree that doesn't guarantee you a job in a lab coat and a quarterly drug test. These days? I'd have become a plumber and be done with it.

There's nowt wrong with being a plumber, of course. It's just sad.
 
True. I can see a lot of that happening right now.

I was a hair's breadth away from moving 'back' to Ireland during the boom years over there. Living in somewhere completely different, however, would probably be extremely hard for me, but maybe worth it.

The world will always require navvies, I guess. :D
 
Not all qualifications are equal. Many parents send their kids to university because they treat higher education like a babysitter for their 18-19 yr old who has no drive or ambition. Choosing something you love became a catch cry for a generation of coasters, resulting in a influx of media, art literature and chemists all competing for the same job pool. Good paying jobs exist for these degrees but only for the very top of the class. If you come out with any degree but we're the bottom half of your peers, why should an employer select you over the A+ students?

You need to be ruthless with your education choices and go into it with finding a job as your main goal. While it would be nice to be a career student, studying and researching for the pure knowledge, this doesn't contribute to society enough worth to command a proper salary. Sammy was half joking about the plumbing, but any apprentiship is a good stepping stone, particularly if university is not for you. My brother left school and started as a panel beater, eventually qualified as a diesel mechanic and now works in Jakarta in head office of the largest earthmoving dealership in the world. He was never cut out for sitting exams but he learnt hard work and graft was the key to success. He has never been to university but has many qualifications that sets him apart from his peers. The key was to keep learning, even a forklift licence will give you a jump on the other guy in the room.

If you have dreams of your own business then basic book keeping is a must. It'll save you in accounting fees alone. Even a share trading course will give you skills to invest some of your profits to help grow your business.
 
I know A LOT who earn pretty decent monies in Australia for just trade work. decent = sometimes more than lawyers/ some doctors. plus you can drink/smoke weed on the job P


I was going to post a whole lot of shit. now i kinda agree with OTW. It's not about just getting the degree or w/e, it is about learning and getting the life exp. Don't make up reasons not to do something - because you can still do both. Family plus job/&or own bussiness.

I never went to uni and I'm starting a baller/challenging job next week. where as most of my group went to uni, didn't really pay off. (yet) that doesn't mean it hasn't. They've learned a lot. It's not the end of the world if you decide not to finish uni. it may make things 10x harder in the end, though it depends what you want to do. Seems appropreate to just finish uni though because you have lready started it. again, it is OK if you drop out too, just work harder & don't say you dropped out because of X reason

You can say you don't need $$ though to feed your family you do


money actually means nothing. to a degree. it is just paper and numbers on a screen
 
Just found £110 in various bookies accounts from when I used to do risk free betting. Lovely.

FRISK BEE PETTING

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