3 Christmas's ago, someone bought me a pair of sneakers.
They were white Nikes, with silver swooshes.
I wasn't crazy about them.
I love shoes, but i almost never buy myself sneakers.
He was trying to dress me up in all these designer clothes,
So i could fit the image he wanted me to be.
First it was the Nikes, then the Ecko jeans, then the TripleFiveSoul shirt.
He built himself the perfect girlfriend.
How clever.
But the sneakers sat in my closet for a few months,
Neatly in their box,
Before i decided to wear them.
And when i did, he harped on me to clean them
Every goddamn time i wore them
He bought new sneakers every week
And he was nuts about thick shoelaces and cleaning them obsessively.
So he thought i should be too.
Well, i never cleaned them.
It's three years later,
And i still wear them
Only becuase i don't feel like buying new ones
And they are not white anymore,
And they are falling apart
But they are comfortable as hell
And i just might wear them forever.
But if he saw me wearing them,
He'd probably be so disappointed.
No longer the perfect girlfriend he had once designed for himself.
A girl who doesn't care about her sneakers
And these days,
Doesn't really care much about anything.
I still have the shoebox they came in.
Its filled with all the pictures that i had to take down off my walls
So that i could forget him.
It's shoved in a space in my closet
Where i won't go again until i have to move
And maybe even then, i might leave them there.
That was supposed to be the best Christmas ever.
Me and Jenn put up this Christmas tree,
The ugliest tree you ever saw in your life,
And he used to call it the "Charlie Brown tree"
And my cats used to knock it over
And it sat on the cold floor of our living room
Where we had some of the best times
Dancing when i begged him to
Cuddling in front of the tv
Falling asleep on a saturday
And under the tree were presents that we had started shopping for
Back in October
So many that they filled the whole living room
And of course, in one of those boxes where the infamous sneakers
I put them on everyday at 5:45 a.m. before i go to the gym
And when i'm lacing them up,
The laces are so frail that they are ready to break,
Just like my heart.
It's the only time i allow myself to think of him
Because i know he would be telling me to go buy the fat laces
Like he likes
But its sad, knowing i'll never buy myself laces
Or new sneakers for that matter.
But he knew that,
And that's why he had something good about him...
He bought me something i'd never buy myself
Even if it was really only for his own satisfaction.
Why the hell is it so easy to write about these goddamn sneakers.
I've had them on my mind so much lately
And i cant pinpoint why.
I'm not thinking of him... that's for sure.
But i'm thinking of a time in my life when things were so different,
And i was happy
And i realize today how much i miss some of those people...
And there is one person i miss most
Because he stuck by me through all the shit
And yet, he's not here now
But sometimes, i wish he was
Because there are so many things i want to get off my chest,
And there isn't anyone here who would understand
Somehow i think he would understand about the sneakers
Their significance
And maybe he would tell me why i cant get them off my mind
Maybe its more than that
I just know i wouldn't have to explain myself
And everybody here just keeps asking you to explain yourself
And tell them what's wrong.
But what if you don't know?
Maybe it would be good just to sit on the front porch,
And cry on his shoulder...
Like i've done once or twice before
These days, i cant find my strength
I want so badly to be happy
But i'm held back by everyone
Cuz they dont understand
And all the things they want me to find important
Are not really important to me at all.
I'm about to need a new pair of sneakers
Or some new laces
But i'm hung up on these old ones..
And old memories
And missing old faces
These sneakers aren't getting any younger,
And neither am i.
But soon, they are just gonna sit in my closet,
And i'm going to stop looking
For the person who's holding the new laces.
[ 14 March 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
They were white Nikes, with silver swooshes.
I wasn't crazy about them.
I love shoes, but i almost never buy myself sneakers.
He was trying to dress me up in all these designer clothes,
So i could fit the image he wanted me to be.
First it was the Nikes, then the Ecko jeans, then the TripleFiveSoul shirt.
He built himself the perfect girlfriend.
How clever.
But the sneakers sat in my closet for a few months,
Neatly in their box,
Before i decided to wear them.
And when i did, he harped on me to clean them
Every goddamn time i wore them
He bought new sneakers every week
And he was nuts about thick shoelaces and cleaning them obsessively.
So he thought i should be too.
Well, i never cleaned them.
It's three years later,
And i still wear them
Only becuase i don't feel like buying new ones
And they are not white anymore,
And they are falling apart
But they are comfortable as hell
And i just might wear them forever.
But if he saw me wearing them,
He'd probably be so disappointed.
No longer the perfect girlfriend he had once designed for himself.
A girl who doesn't care about her sneakers
And these days,
Doesn't really care much about anything.
I still have the shoebox they came in.
Its filled with all the pictures that i had to take down off my walls
So that i could forget him.
It's shoved in a space in my closet
Where i won't go again until i have to move
And maybe even then, i might leave them there.
That was supposed to be the best Christmas ever.
Me and Jenn put up this Christmas tree,
The ugliest tree you ever saw in your life,
And he used to call it the "Charlie Brown tree"
And my cats used to knock it over
And it sat on the cold floor of our living room
Where we had some of the best times
Dancing when i begged him to
Cuddling in front of the tv
Falling asleep on a saturday
And under the tree were presents that we had started shopping for
Back in October
So many that they filled the whole living room
And of course, in one of those boxes where the infamous sneakers
I put them on everyday at 5:45 a.m. before i go to the gym
And when i'm lacing them up,
The laces are so frail that they are ready to break,
Just like my heart.
It's the only time i allow myself to think of him
Because i know he would be telling me to go buy the fat laces
Like he likes
But its sad, knowing i'll never buy myself laces
Or new sneakers for that matter.
But he knew that,
And that's why he had something good about him...
He bought me something i'd never buy myself
Even if it was really only for his own satisfaction.
Why the hell is it so easy to write about these goddamn sneakers.
I've had them on my mind so much lately
And i cant pinpoint why.
I'm not thinking of him... that's for sure.
But i'm thinking of a time in my life when things were so different,
And i was happy
And i realize today how much i miss some of those people...
And there is one person i miss most
Because he stuck by me through all the shit
And yet, he's not here now
But sometimes, i wish he was
Because there are so many things i want to get off my chest,
And there isn't anyone here who would understand
Somehow i think he would understand about the sneakers
Their significance
And maybe he would tell me why i cant get them off my mind
Maybe its more than that
I just know i wouldn't have to explain myself
And everybody here just keeps asking you to explain yourself
And tell them what's wrong.
But what if you don't know?
Maybe it would be good just to sit on the front porch,
And cry on his shoulder...
Like i've done once or twice before
These days, i cant find my strength
I want so badly to be happy
But i'm held back by everyone
Cuz they dont understand
And all the things they want me to find important
Are not really important to me at all.
I'm about to need a new pair of sneakers
Or some new laces
But i'm hung up on these old ones..
And old memories
And missing old faces
These sneakers aren't getting any younger,
And neither am i.
But soon, they are just gonna sit in my closet,
And i'm going to stop looking
For the person who's holding the new laces.
[ 14 March 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
