Smoking weed tomorrow - inspire me!

[It's a baby!]

I used to be a very heavy toker (well relatively speaking, I probably don't got nothin' on a lot of you but I'd usually get high three times a day when I could, sometimes even more than that, with periods of under a week when I didn't have any weed/dough). I quit for 6 months for personal reasons, and now that I've proven to myself that I do, in fact, have some control over myself . . . well what better way to celebrate than to dive back in right? I have missed it this whole time, I guess I'm just a born stoner. Feeling sober feels weird and uncomfortable, alcohol works but it's bad for me to be drunk all the time even though I've learned to hold my liquor over the break period.

ANYWHO, I remember when I first smoked I got crazy crazy intense highs, like psychedelic sort of stuff, fullblown auditory hallucinations and sometimes even vivid CEVs (though they were kinda frivolous, weird cartoon movie things). I mean honestly I had some highs when I was starting out that were so crazy you probably wouldn't believe me if I described them.

Inspire me! I'm very excited about this and have basically forgotten what it feels like to be stoned. I"m really gonna have to watch myself or I'll freak the hell out like I did sometimes when I first started. Just like . . . talk about some crazy highs you've had or something? I dunno.

SOrry if this is too vague/personal a thread, if so mods know what to do.

Edit: I dunno about fullblown auditory hallucinations, at least not usually. I heard voices one time which was beyond belief crazy, but I think I talked about that once (or twice . . . or thrice) on here in the past so I'll leave it alone.

MOre like my brain takes "background noise", especially heavy "white noise", like a train going by, and makes music out of it. Hard to describe but I'm sure most of you know what I mean, same thing will happen if I'm very sleep deprived. It's extremely fun. I miss weed so much and am so excited to go back, it's like . . . gosh y'know?

I have matured somewhat I think, I no longer think that weed makes me smarter or more productive or more creative, at least not usually. To be honest it probably has a negative effect on my intellect and whatnot. But I really don't care, being stoned feels awesome and I'm a much nicer person when stoned too.

 

[solistus]

My limited experience with extended breaks tells me that, while you should be _prepared_ for the intensity of your first couple highs, you shouldn't _expect_ it. For me, the first few times after an extended break are more intense in that I need a lot less pot to get to the same point, but specific effects I used to get and no longer typically do (minor CEVs, weird auditory effects, that odd 'stop-motion' effect that almost feels like someone toned down the framerate on reality... ahh good times) don't tend to come back in force.

The great thing about pot, at least in my experience, is that it's a very gentle substance. You don't need to have the right mindset or mentally prepare yourself too much for the experience - it usually finds a way to make itself enjoyable in whatever context you choose to enjoy it.

As for the self-control stuff, obviously you know yourself better than I do, but if you've been in a condition you would personally consider a problematic lack of self-control, be careful this time around. Everyone has to set their own comfort level in terms of how much they allow themselves to integrate use of a particular drug into daily life. Personally, I accept a dependence on pot that would scare the living daylights out of me if I felt the same about any other substance, because I consider pot "addiction" to be entirely benign, but if you don't feel comfortable with yourself smoking too often then set hard limits and stick to them. Besides, I think most people here can relate to the fact that self-denial from smoking only makes those times you allow yourself to indulge all the sweeter. I think that's why a lot of smokers I know try to 'save' their first smoke of the day for 4:20.

 

[It's a baby!]

My limited experience with extended breaks tells me that, while you should be _prepared_ for the intensity of your first couple highs, you shouldn't _expect_ it. For me, the first few times after an extended break are more intense in that I need a lot less pot to get to the same point, but specific effects I used to get and no longer typically do (minor CEVs, weird auditory effects, that odd 'stop-motion' effect that almost feels like someone toned down the framerate on reality... ahh good times) don't tend to come back in force.

The great thing about pot, at least in my experience, is that it's a very gentle substance. You don't need to have the right mindset or mentally prepare yourself too much for the experience - it usually finds a way to make itself enjoyable in whatever context you choose to enjoy it.

As for the self-control stuff, obviously you know yourself better than I do, but if you've been in a condition you would personally consider a problematic lack of self-control, be careful this time around. Everyone has to set their own comfort level in terms of how much they allow themselves to integrate use of a particular drug into daily life. Personally, I accept a dependence on pot that would scare the living daylights out of me if I felt the same about any other substance, because I consider pot "addiction" to be entirely benign, but if you don't feel comfortable with yourself smoking too often then set hard limits and stick to them. Besides, I think most people here can relate to the fact that self-denial from smoking only makes those times you allow yourself to indulge all the sweeter. I think that's why a lot of smokers I know try to 'save' their first smoke of the day for 4:20.

Hehe I remember the "stop-motion" effect. Crazy stuff!

Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely be trying to watch myself this time. The thing is I really don't know *how damaging* my habit was . . . I mean I was still functioning, my grades were great, and as long as I had some herb I was happy as can be. Still I do think it made me very moody and depressed in some ways, and 'addicts' (if you can even use that word with pot) can often "function" just fine and feel like everything's going alright even though they're screwing things up in some hidden way.

I've definitely come to rely on intoxication in an unhealthy way since I was 13 or so, and when I quit weed I felt pretty awful, then started drinking, and fell in love with alcohol so damn much . . . but meh if you're gonna be intoxicated all the time weed's a pretty good choice right?

I guess this is rambling but I'll definitely watch myself. I don't want to go down that road again.

 

[It's a baby!]

K shit wasn't quite as cool as I thought it'd be.

I mean when I first got it, I toked up wit' mah dealers. We talked about . . . other dealers. They are both sort of rednecks/"white trash" so it was a little bit awkward, even though I like people like that. They were friendly but I was nervous as we were smoking in their car while driving.

Man, we'd had record snowfall. The streets were FUCKED. It was horrible, cars were abandoned everywhere in this crappy white ghetto I live in. My dealers had this badass 4-weel-drive truck or something and the girl (who I've known since I was 14, she's like 20 now) was just plowing through it while we rolled and smoked a blunt.

I got high but it wasn't intense, I only took 6 hits and that got me stoned but, while great, it wasn't like the first time or anything. You all know what being stoned feels like so I'll leave it at that. We did drive on the highway for a bit and man, it was like a warzone. We were plowing over ice and snow at 60mph with tons of other cars. Some dumb fuck almost got us killed. Being in that situation stoned was . . . crazy, to say the least.

Anyway I've been high constantly since then. Tonight, right now, is the first time that I've REALLY gotten fucked, like stumbling and shit, and it's not all messed up. I'm obviously coherent, and I feel . . . heavy and drunken kinda but I can handle it. Nothing like tripping out when I started smoking. It also doesn't last long, I'll probably be a-okay in an hour, two tops, though an afterbuzz will carry me to bed.

I'll try to post pix, my damn camera is missing, ill find it it's around here somewherz.