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smoking alone

Mellabopper

Mellabopper

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2000
Messages
3,811
Location
Boston
its tiring
and i dont want to smoke alone anymore
at least not tonight
same story
everyday
same thing
same old routine
same feeling of nothingness
restlessness
and smoking alone
doesnt give me the pleasure it once did
now its just smoking
alone
instead of smoking alone.
same disappointments
same let downs
same old ashtray
filling to the top
almost overflowing before i empty it out
listening to the same old music
wondering what else there is to do
except smoke
alone
and miss those who make my world a bit brighter
so alone in my room
feeling forgotten
i light up
yet once again
to sit alone,
and smoke
hoping it will bring me joy again
and partly wondering why i even try
because it never does
its the same disappointments
the same let downs
the same old ash tray
now filled to the top
with one too many cigarettes
most of them not even completely smoked
most times i just put them out halfway
thinking to myself
'why am i even doing this?
its pointless'
well, damnit, it is
pointless -
but strangely i still feel the need to smoke
even if it is alone
there's no one to call
no one to see
no one to give a cigarette to
and have them smoke it with me
so i sit and i smoke
alone.
its always the same disappointments
the same let downs
the same old ash tray
now overflowing,
so i decide to put this cigarette out when there is still half left
just like the rest.
not because the ash tray was full,
but because tonight
i didnt want to smoke
alone.
8-6-01
Mellabopper
 
mella
if there's any feeling i hate more in this world, its loneliness. and hon, you're not the only one that's feeling that tonight.
i dont smoke, but to me... its sitting here, at this computer, alone at night, talking to no one, but many listening. they make me feel not so alone.
you're not alone tonight sweetie.
((((hug))))
------------------
E-girl
IM: tiggersgurl2067
"...there are 2 paths, you can go back, but in the long run... there's still time to change the road you're on..."
 
I do the same old stuff smoke half put it out and resmoke later, I tend to keep on smoking if I buy cigarettes but I really want to quit. I actually smoke lotsa cones too which is bad, I just wanna say its good to know Im not the only one that does this, also its just a phase we are going through it will pass, I actually stop smoking for 1 day now and am chewing gum which helps da craving, Im gonna kick the habit before I meet mr lung cancer.
smile.gif

great poem
wink.gif

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sex is the key to the soul~
 
move to NC. I'll smoke with you
smile.gif

<-- has no one to smoke wit' either
(both literal and metaphorically)
I want more friends
smile.gif

------------------
AIM: MoondancerKat
"i wish that they'd swoop down in a country lane
late at night when I'm driving
take me on board their beautiful ship
show me the world as I'd love to see it"~ Radiohead, Subterranian Homesick Alien
 
I'm smoking with ya in spirit, twin. No one to talk to? Let's talk.
smile.gif
 
I feel for ya brother. I've been gettin that feeling alot lately. I'm not a cigarette smoker and, for right now I don't smoke anything but, I do sit in front if my computer for hours on end. It always seems like when I'm feelin the worst someone IMs me just to say what's up. If ya don't got IM you should get it. It has saved my sanity numerous times in the last two months.
Also the poem is beautifully written and you see how many others just like us there are cheer up kid it always gets better.
------------------
HUGS and Smiles
Randy
[email protected]
AIM:yoyoboyRandy
 
hey girl.
i've decided you and i need to hang out more and i'm going to be dedicated to following through on that this coming year. i completely understand your words as much as i DON'T understand the slow going depression i've been living with myself this summer. you put it nicely, as always. being alone sucks. people have a natural tendency to want to be loved and to be with those who love them and when it's impossible it aches more than anything. one is the loneliest number.
smile.gif

*lights up a p-funk*.....alone
 
Hi! I'm in the Norteast USA too. I'm game for a meet-up or too, unless I recieve a questionably worded e-mail or two.
wink.gif

later...
 
I feel ya. The worst feeling is to be alone. No one to call, no one to share something with. Maybe it was something that you and friends did together-and now they aren't interested. God, I can't count how many times I've felt like that. But I hope that tonight, you dont; have to smoke alone.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end. I am a raver, and this is my manifesto."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
I understand loneliness all to well.
Mella I truly enjoy your writing. A LOT. Thank you so much for sharing.
Coreo
 
Well i think my shit is the boredest i am so bored i am coming up with new words i mean come on i am starting to think my cigarettes are looking at me and that is desparete i smoke to much weed maybe its getting to me maybe its the smoking alone, i just moved to albuquerque and i dont know anyone yet so i sit in my room and listen to music look at my computer stare at me and smoke my weed so ya'll think you got it bad you know i got it bad when i am practically writing to my goddamn self here but least i have something to do, but anyways anyone close to me give me a holla---- peace, talon
 
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