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SLR Social vs. It's on like Donkey Kong

^ well actually you are turning it into a gender thing.. you think girls don't approach guys and get frisky also? They do.. I've been violated by women in a club myself on a few different occasions.

I think society is kind of fucked, it should not be acceptable yet it seems all to common. But it's not only men who are overly sexually aggressive.

You really need help if you think men are the only ones.
 
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llama112 said:
I have yet to understand why some guys are simply jerks and have no respect for anyone at all.

I was at a club last weekend, I was with my boyfriend but he was chilling with some friends and I went up to dance. This one guy comes over and starts grabbing me. I just move away, I don't want anything to do with him. He follows me and just grabs me and starts grinding on me and I'm just like "no thanks" and I move away. Then he comes up to me again and does the same thing and I'm just like "seriously? what are you doing? just go away from me" and then he does it AGAIN!!!!! Finally I'm like, I can't even dance on the dance floor!!! So I walked away.

Then an hour or so later, similar thing happened, my bf was chilling with friends and I heard this awesome track so I went up to dance. I didn't notice at first, I just went to my favourite spot, and the same thing happened. Only when I moved over, there was a second guy (clearly friends with the first guy) who did the same thing to me.

And it happened a THIRD time!!! When my boyfriend was with me, the same guy just grabs on me and I move away and I'm just like go away and then my bf and I just find another place to dance.

But seriously, this should NOT be happening!!!! What could possess them to do this? No means no!!!! And when I pull away and tell them to stop and go away from me, what else could I mean? I don't NEED to have my boyfriend there "protecting me" all the time but I didn't feel safe there. That club is like a home to me, I'm there every weekend. But seriously, those guys, they must have some serious problems. I guess I could have gotten someone to help me and get those guys off of me but seriously, you shouldn't need to do that.

I just don't get why some guys are like that....

Note: I'm not knocking all guys. I'm knocking the creeps and the jerks. My boyfriend is amazing and I met two other cool guys that weekend who were completely chill and fun and not jerks. I have guy friends who are great, it isn't a gender thing. Just why??!!?? Why do some guys have NO RESPECT for females?
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Lot of the time it's how they were brought up. Maybe their dad was the same way, or brother, etc. Maybe they didn't have a strong female figure in their life. Stuff like that.

I think the men who grew up with a mom and sisters, tend to be a lot more respectful of women when they become adults.

And I mean, some guys are just ass holes. Plain and simple. Hah.

But, don't hold it against all of us. Some of us are actually decent. I happen to think all women are Goddesses in their own right and should be treated like queens.
 
There are enough people out there who want that level of aggressiveness that it gives the aggressors reason to keep on trying. I have had women tell me "no" before, but after I backed off, they said something like "oh I was just flirting...I wanted to see you step your game up!" It makes no sense to me and even makes me feel a bit creeped out, but it does go on. I've even had women come on really strong to me too in these environments (even met my ex this way). There are as many different types of seduction as there are people. Human behaviour is extremely complicated, and when you throw alcohol on top of that, it can get messy.

But ya, I don't understand the psychology of that direct of an approach. I could never attempt to seduce a woman like that.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
But, don't hold it against all of us. Some of us are actually decent. I happen to think all women are Goddesses in their own right and should be treated like queens.
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Ahh I certainly don't hold it against you guys :) I know a ton of nice guys. I was simply appalled by how I was treated that weekend.

Certain people are simply jerks... male and female. I wish it wasn't like that. I wish everyone was simply treated with respect. I respect others and I wish they'd do the same for me.
 
Bluelight men, question!
I had a hookup a few months ago, then he left the country and when he returned I kindly told him I am "looking for something else right now".
He contacted me again today, saying:
how are you? I miss that day... don't you? Can't we give it a second shot?

Can I tell him it's because I need a bigger size?
Is it better to be kind and fake?

___
In other news, I have recently been exchanging sexy emails and fantasies with a screenwriter/author.

___
In national news, Fentanyl-laced heroin is killing people in Rhode Island. Feeling sad for those families as my child's father almost died this way, until I called the paramedics back in 2011. It's quite the feeling, knowing you saved someone's life. I'm so glad I didn't hesitate (I momentarily considered letting him go, at the time).
 
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I think it would be kinder to say you just aren't into it right now, Cohesion.

That is a version of the truth. The other info is unnecessary and could give him a complex that lasts for a while and colors his future relationships.
 
Cohesion said:
Bluelight men, question!
I had a hookup a few months ago, then he left the country and when he returned I kindly told him I am "looking for something else right now".
He contacted me again today, saying:
how are you? I miss that day... don't you? Can't we give it a second shot?

Can I tell him it's because I need a bigger size?
Is it better to be kind and fake?

___
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Haha. If you want to ruin his entire world... yeah go ahead tell him that's why.
 
yeah, don't tell him that. It'll hurt his feelings unnecessarily. Sometimes a white lie IS the morally superior choice.

However, if he keeps bugging you and bugging you to the point of being rude and disrespectful, that's different - then you can say "look, your dick just doesn't satisfy me, ok?"
 
Okay, fine. I posted here rather than responding to him.

Beachcat- great perspective

Hey.. it was nice.. I'm just not into it right now. /done
 
Good choice!

I feel bad for my husband. We normally have a great sex life. I never turn down sex, ever,and usually initiate it. But for some reason, my libido tanked to absolute zero this whole pregnancy. We went from having sex at least 3 or 4 times a week to literally, since July I think we have had sex like 5 or 6 times total. I have thrown a few blow jobs his way, but still.

He has not complained...just venting here I guess. I know wwe are both mature enough to know that sex waxes and wanes, especially in a relationship as long as ours. I just feel like such a cliche, though. The pregnant chick that doesn't have sex.

I really just am not into it. I didn't get that 2nd trimester boost of libido, and now I am really huge and my boobs totally look National Geographic-esqe.

Blah.
 
Cohesion said:
Okay, fine. I posted here rather than responding to him.
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Good call :) I don't advocate lying much, but avoiding the truth would be best in this situation :)

Beachcat said:
Good choice!

I feel bad for my husband. We normally have a great sex life. I never turn down sex, ever,and usually initiate it. But for some reason, my libido tanked to absolute zero this whole pregnancy. We went from having sex at least 3 or 4 times a week to literally, since July I think we have had sex like 5 or 6 times total. I have thrown a few blow jobs his way, but still.

He has not complained...just venting here I guess. I know wwe are both mature enough to know that sex waxes and wanes, especially in a relationship as long as ours. I just feel like such a cliche, though. The pregnant chick that doesn't have sex.

I really just am not into it. I didn't get that 2nd trimester boost of libido, and now I am really huge and my boobs totally look National Geographic-esqe.

Blah.
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Haha awww! Well most people go through phases like that. Clearly pregnancy messes with your hormones so it makes sense. If you're having sex 3-4 times a week, I think that's REALLY good for a married couple or anyone who is in a long term relationship.
 
Geez RL. If it were me I'd turn it down and ask why she thought it'd be a good idea to put you in such an awkward position.

So there's this girl that I apparently met about a year ago, during a deliriant induced blackout, so I have no memory of this at all. She knows a fair bit about me (from what she's talked to my housemates about) and has come to my house more than once since then, but I've never been home when it's happened. I see her every so often (she lives a few houses down from me) but only in passing and only ever say hi.

I have no idea how to approach her again for a proper conversation, seeing as I know nothing about her. I can't exactly walk up and say 'Hi, what was your name again? I was on drugs last time and can't remember a single thing about meeting you the first time.' Any ideas?
 
RedLeader said:
So...the married chick who stood me up last week...she just invited me out to dinner. WITH HER HUSBAND. So just the three of us.

I'm sure this won't be awkward at all.
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Could she be testing the waters for a threesome?

Black Rabbit of Inlè said:
Geez RL. If it were me I'd turn it down and ask why she thought it'd be a good idea to put you in such an awkward position.

So there's this girl that I apparently met about a year ago, during a deliriant induced blackout, so I have no memory of this at all. She knows a fair bit about me (from what she's talked to my housemates about) and has come to my house more than once since then, but I've never been home when it's happened. I see her every so often (she lives a few houses down from me) but only in passing and only ever say hi.

I have no idea how to approach her again for a proper conversation, seeing as I know nothing about her. I can't exactly walk up and say 'Hi, what was your name again? I was on drugs last time and can't remember a single thing about meeting you the first time.' Any ideas?
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Just tell her you're really bad with faces and feel so bad for not remembering who she is. It's pretty common.
 
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