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Slipping into alcoholism

Br1tannia

Br1tannia

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2011
Messages
260
Location
West Mids, UK
Hey guys,

Been a while since ive been on bluelight properly. Hope all is well with you all :)
The past year has been weird for me, i decided to stop doing RCs, which were the only drugs i did and it felt good. At the time i didnt think much of it, but now i look back and think how retarded i was for ingesting unknown substances, i just dont know how i fucking did it. But since i gave the, up (which was pretty regular use) i have found myself drinking large amounts of alcohol as a a subsitute, which obviously is not a great sub. I used to drink to get drunk once a week on my day off college, play xbox and wind down but since i finished college back in june i have been only woking part time, 8 hours or so a week and due to that the drinking has just built and built.

Most of my mates are at uni or working and the days they have off and want to hang out i mostly say i cant and juwt buy more alcohol, stay home and drink, watch tv or whatever and have fun on my own.

Its getting worse and worse and i dont want to end up as a full alcoholic, i am trying to find a job but nothing is about in my career area due to the shitty ecomomy. Im sinking lower and lower, and more disconnected and depressed.

I believe in this website and what it does, need some fucking help,
 
Hey Britannia, sorry to hear about the drinking issues you're going through at the moment.

Here in the UK we have a problem with drinking our problems away and it can be hard to find the support you need, especially if your friends are drinkers too. In your case, it sounds like something else is driving the drinking if you're turning down social opportunities to spend time on your own. Do you know what the underlying cause is that makes you want to be alone and drink? Are you trying to blot something out or avoid facing a up to a situation of some sort? Is there something your past that's eating you? Maybe you're worried about the future?

I suggest some counselling, maybe through AA or some other counselling group run locally....hit up Google and see what you can find. Don't get dragged down into heavy drinking if you can possibly avoid it, it can be really damaging and addictive.

My best of luck to you mate....Hope you find someone to talk to about your issues.
 
Hey, Br1tannia, glad to see you back! I was thinking the same thing as LotsofDogs---there is something deeper that you need to figure out so that you can start to engage with people and get out of your head. It's a visious cycle when you are getting depressed: feel bad>isolate>feel worse>drink>isolate more>feel worse. Sometimes you have to force yourself to try something new. Is there anything that you could get involved in that would put you around other people in similar circumstances and hold your interest?

I'm really sorry to hear that things are feeling so bad. Alcohol makes everything worse. Best to stop now while you still can.<3
 
Br1tannia said:
Hey guys,

Been a while since ive been on bluelight properly. Hope all is well with you all :)
The past year has been weird for me, i decided to stop doing RCs, which were the only drugs i did and it felt good. At the time i didnt think much of it, but now i look back and think how retarded i was for ingesting unknown substances, i just dont know how i fucking did it. But since i gave the, up (which was pretty regular use) i have found myself drinking large amounts of alcohol as a a subsitute, which obviously is not a great sub. I used to drink to get drunk once a week on my day off college, play xbox and wind down but since i finished college back in june i have been only woking part time, 8 hours or so a week and due to that the drinking has just built and built.

Most of my mates are at uni or working and the days they have off and want to hang out i mostly say i cant and juwt buy more alcohol, stay home and drink, watch tv or whatever and have fun on my own.

Its getting worse and worse and i dont want to end up as a full alcoholic, i am trying to find a job but nothing is about in my career area due to the shitty ecomomy. Im sinking lower and lower, and more disconnected and depressed.

I believe in this website and what it does, need some fucking help,
Click to expand...

Oh man, being unemployed just sucks so bad. When I had no job- I started cracking open the beers around 2PM every day. I'd drink myself unconscious on most days. I gained a lot of weight and felt fucking awful in the AM. The whole cycle just sucked. One thing I can tell you is that alcohol is fairly easy to quit if you're not too deep into it. It's not like quitting opiates- you won't be all fucked up and depressed. However, you will be bored and you're going to have to fill the void with some other activities. Being unemployed in this job market will definitely require you to get yourself out there- sending resume's out won't do jack. Are there any networking opportunities- like meet-ups in your field of choice? Believe me, getting a job will go a long way to helping you lay off the booze. Filling your time meeting new people will certainly take your mind off the sauce- even if it just delays your drinking that will be something good right there.
 
Thanks for the replies guys.

I see what you all mean. The thing is ive always been a sort of loner. I have a small group of friends who i hang out with, i honestly wouldnt like to be a person with shit loads of friends getting call all the time and stuff, i like it how it is. I love my own company as weird as that sounds, i am more than happy to sit at home alone days on end just doing whatever. Where as if i am with friends it limits what i can do. Its hard to explain, i have a very weird mind that is hard to explain. The thing is, my whole life its common for me to turn down social events, even parties with lots of friends and stuff, dont think thatll ever change. M friends and parents know i turn going out down a lot an try to convince me to come but i still dont most of the time, its just who i am i suppose.

I do worry a hell of a lot about the future, like one of you said. I am now in the big wide world, exciting but fucking scary too. I always looked forward to finishing college but now i just want that familiarty again. As i said before, thats where the drinking started on days off playing xbox and drinking or watching tv and now its like i am copying what i did back then.
 
^I'm a loner too, but its always good to have some friends to catch up with from time to time. I worry a bit that I will alienate people if I stay away for too long or say no too many times. I'm having a similar problem to you- filling in time by drinking instead of doing other more healthy stuff. A couple of things I've tried is holding off on my start time as long as I can- that way I don't get as many in before I go to sleep, and filling in the the time before I start with things that I enjoy- reading, exercise, getting into the garden.

I totally get how you are saying you like to do your own thing and being with others means you have to compromise. I have found in the last few years as I've got a bit older that this attitude has extended to my drinking- I don't want to be around people who won't drink with me and am happier drinking alone anyway. I know I will have to make some changes now and I hope that you don't end up in the same sort of mind set.

Also getting more work will be better for you because it will force you to start later but if you can do it of your own accord that will be good practice at self control for you.
 
I'm also unemployed and I dont think I'm an alcoholic (at least for now), but I drink alone, cheap liquor, every day, about a pint a day. I really dont wanna stop now. It seems like the benefit-cost ratio is still positive, although my tolerance has increased a lot and I may have black-outs if I drink too much. The latter is a bitch. I miss so much the times that I could drink myself to the point of not being able to walk straight and somehow still retain my memories (and my sanity). Black-outs sucks. Once you have one you're always at the risk of having another.
 
Maybe you won't. You are the only one that can think about what matters to you. Usually the costs are to do with health, lifestyle or work, relationships and sometimes even legal issues. For me I lost my drivers license but after I got it back I still wouldn't drive any where on the weekends because I would rather get drunk.

Maybe there aren't any other costs for you now except blacking out and having increased tolerance. All I meant is to keep thinking to yourself about if the way you are drinking is benefiting you or not.
 
Unemployed, depressed, tolerance, black outs, drinks cheap liquor alone and every day.

Not trying to be an asshole, but how in gods name Dre1990 is the benefit/cost ratio positive there?
 
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